Hey Amy!
by Angelxoxo8
Summary: What if Arnold had a twin sister? This story follows Arnold and his sister Amy on their adventures in their big city life while living with their grand-parents in Sunset Arms.
1. Downtown as Fruits and Eugene's Bike

**Angel: Hi! This is my first Hey Arnold fic, I mostly do TMNT fics...so excited! I don't know when I'll post this, I'll try once a week, since I've got two other stories to do...well, one right now if my friend remembers to send me the chapter for it...or even do it -_- So, enjoy!**

 **Downtown as Fruits**

Arnold is riding a surfboard, wearing his swimsuit. A dinosaur sits on the sand, another one roaring. A wave passes the football-headed boy as he rides the wave. He could feel the wind in his hair...

"Cut, cut. Hey Arnold!"

He suddenly finds himself standing in the auditorium. "Huh?"

"Get off the stage!" A tall blonde girl with a unibrow, pink and white dress, and pigtails shouts at him. Helga Pataki, the fourth-grade bully. His other classmates laugh at him as she scowls, walking over to him. "This isn't your scene!"

"Oh, yeah," he comes back to reality. "Sorry," he walks to the others. The fourth-grade class are rehearsing for a play. And who other to write it than Helga G. Pataki? A girl with blonde hair colored like Arnold's, down to her waist, smirks at him. She wears a pink and green dress sleeveless dress, with black leggings and green flats, along with a bow in her hair to have a low ponytail. Her name is Amelia, Arnold's twin sister.

"You daydreamed again?" She asks knowingly.

"I'd rather do that than rehearse," he whispers to her.

"Amateur," Helga gives a blank look. "Okay, let's pick up from the dance of the vegetables. A five, six, seven, eight!" Luckily for them, the bell rings. They start to leave, but Helga steps in front of them. "Not so fast." She places her hands on her hips.

"Come on, Helga, we know our lines!" Harold Berman, a somewhat overweight boy, retorts. He wears a blue hat, a blue over shirt, a white shirt, and gray pants.

"Know your lines?" She bats her eyelashes, "Of course you know your lines." She shakes her head, her hands behind her back. "But I don't wanna just hear your lines...I wanna hear what's in your SOULS!"

"Do vegetables have souls?" Thaddeus or Curly Gammelthorpe asks. He has a Moe undercut hair style. He wears red glasses, which cover his eyes. He wears a shirt with an orange collar, green for the upper half of his shirt and orange on the bottom half. He wears brown shorts and black shoes. Helga gets in his face.

"That audience expects food with feelings, and _that's_ what we're gonna give 'em. Iggy, what's your motivation?" She points to a boy with a purple shirt, a yellow undershirt, and green glasses next to Amy.

"I don't know," he shrugs helplessly. "I'm a utensil," he points to his script.

"Stinky! What's in your character's gut?" Helga demands and a tall Caucasian boy with short light brown hair wearing spike bracelets faints under pressure.

"I thought so. You guys all bite. Okay! Here's the deal," she steps over Stinky, pacing in front of them. "I want every kid here a half an hour early so we can do another run through. If anybody is late," Gerald Johanssen, Arnold's best friend, separates his nostrils teasingly at her and she faces him. "They're gonna have to answer to Old Betsy," she waves her fist, Gerald looking at Arnold and Amy.

* * *

The three walk back to Sunset Arms, the boarding house where Arnold and Amy live. Amy and Arnold wave goodbye to Gerald as he continues walking back home with his script. Arnold opens the door, letting Amy in first. Later that night, a man in a cape is being chased by a dog.

"I'm Monkeyman!"

The door is opened to the boarding house, cats and dogs running out the door. Arnold is dressed as a banana. He even has banana shoes on his feet. Amy is dressed as an apple, which covers her body except for her head, arms, and feet. Both of them give unamused looks. They walk down the stairs to Gerald, who's a strawberry. Yup, they were the fruits in Helga's play.

"Fruits. We had to be fruits," Gerald grumbles as they start walking to the bus stop. "Why couldn't we be in the bread group? Or beverages? I could've been a grape soda!"

"Yeah well, we're fruits," Arnold tells him.

"Whether we like it or not," Amy sighs.

"And let's hurry or we'll miss the bus!" Arnold takes Amy's hand, running ahead with her as Gerald's chafing in his costume.

"Slow down! This strawberry really chafes!" He follows after them. Arnold gently pushes Amy in first before Gerald bumps into Arnold. They look at the passengers to see that they're staring at them, and not in a good way. Arnold places his hands on his hips, unamused as he leads the way down the bus. They bump into people on the way, Amy trying to climb into her seat.

"Here," Arnold helps her sit down before he sits next to her. Gerald sits on the other end of Arnold and the passengers turn around so they could see their stops.

"Man, this is humiliating!" Gerald whispers as Arnold crosses his arms.

"This is nothing. In a few hours, the entire student body will be laughing at us," Arnold mutters as the woman next to Amy pulls down the rope to stop the bus. She gets off, a weird look on her face. The three look back at her from the window before sitting back down.

"I can't believe we have to do this...for Helga," Arnold mutters and Amy sighs, glancing at someone staring at her.

"I already hate this."

"I know! It's not fair. But there's nothing we can do about it. Nothing! Unless..." Gerald gets an idea, turning to the ropes.

"Unless what?" Arnold asks.

"Let's just say...we forgot to pull that cord. And we didn't get off at this stop...or the next stop, or the next! Hey, when we get back home, the play will be over," he nudges Arnold and he thinks.

"No...we couldn't do that. It'll ruin the play," Arnold tells him. Gerald opens the window and looks at the school.

"And besides, what about Helga?" Amy asks as Gerald gets back in.

"Well was it right when Helga made fun of you during rehearsal?" He questions and Arnold is still hesitant.

"Well," He stands up. "Aw, Gerald, we gotta stop. We can't ruin the play." He reaches out to the cord, but does not pull it. He looks back at the school, conflicted. He grabs the cord but decides not to pull it, the bus passing by. "Well, maybe one more stop would be okay." They go down the bridge.

* * *

Helga looks at her watch, looking at the other students. "People. People!" She claps, dressed as milk. Phoebe, Helga's best friend, is a piece of cheese. "Now remember, a play has a life of its own. It's got to breathe. Every food group must build upon the group it came forth. First, the legumes."

"Legumes? I thought we were beans," a well-spoken boy says to the other boy dressed as a vegetable.

"You are, genius!" Helga retorts, pacing in front of them. "Then the meats, lusty and powerful. Then the fruits, they're-" Helga sees that Amy, Arnold, and Gerald are not there. "Hey, where're the fruits?"

"They're not here, Helga," Phoebe whispers. "They never showed up."

"What?" She blinks in shock. "ARNOOOOOOLD!"

* * *

Back on the bus, Arnold blinks. "Did you two hear something just now?"

"No," Gerald answers.

"Not really," Amy shakes her head.

"Hey, how far does this bus go, anyway?" Arnold looks out the window.

"What difference does it make? When it gets to the end of the line, we'll just ride it back again. The journey is the destination, man," Gerald replies.

"What's that mean?"

"I'm not sure. I heard it in a hippie movie." The bus suddenly stops and the bus driver leaves.

"Hey, what's going on?" Arnold asks. They get off the bus to see the warehouse.

"Aw man! This is the end of the line," Gerald says.

"You and your hippie movies," Arnold places his hands on his hips.

"I don't know why I listened to you," Amy mutters.

"Does this mean...?"

"Yeah. We're stuck," Gerald confirms.

"Downtown," Arnold continues.

"As Fruits," Amy deadpans.

"Now what?" Arnold questions.

"I know, I'll call my mom and dad. They'll come pick us up," Gerald walks over to the payphone.

"Good idea," Arnold agrees, holding Amy's hand and walking over with him. When Gerald picks up the receiver, he finds that the cord is cut.

"Great, just great," Gerald gives a blank look.

"Well, at least, let's get rid of these costumes," Arnold gestures to himself.

"Uh, I can't," Gerald admits.

"Why not?"

"I didn't wear anything underneath," Gerald shows his chest, Amy covering her eyes.

"You didn't wear anything underneath?" Arnold questions.

"Well, polyester makes me sweat," Gerald shrugs.

"Ew," Amy takes off her costume, revealing her regular clothes.

"Okay, so you have to stay a strawberry," Arnold tells him.

"Sucks for you," Amy shrugs.

"Arnold, Amy, this is serious. We're stuck downtown, I'm a strawberry, and we don't have any money!" He shakes Arnold by the shoulders and a car approaches. They cover their eyes from the headlights and the driver throws a bag at their feet.

"Here you go."

"What's this?" Arnold wonders.

"You'll know what it is. Just take it," he drives away, the three looking in confusion. Arnold picks up the bag to reveal a ton of money inside!

"Wow! People downtown sure are friendly," Arnold comments.

"Let's go!" Gerald says. They walk away, not noticing two other people dressed like a banana and a strawberry approaching the pay phone.

"He's two minutes late."

Gerald, Amy, and Arnold walk into a costume store, walking out as hipsters. Arnold ditches their costumes in the dumpster.

"You were right, Arnold. Those shoes really pull your look together," Gerald points at Arnold's banana shoes.

"You hungry?" Arnold places down his glasses.

* * *

They eat outside Gino's Souvlaki Shack, sitting on the street. "Does souvlaki cover the four food groups?" Gerald wonders.

Arnold chuckles, "Who cares?"

"Yeah, as long as we don't have to be humiliated," Amy comments and they laugh.

* * *

Harold sings on stage. "I'm a steak, a juicy steak, full of fat and protein.

The spotlight changes to Eugene, an unlucky boy. "I'm a ham, you know I am, and if you keep kosher," he winks. "I'm not in your routine!" Harold jumps and Eugene catches him, the audience clapping.

"Psst! Psst!" They turn around to Helga. "Stretch, stretch!" They look to each other and Eugene places Harold on his shoulders. Harold struggles to keep his balance before his foot slips onto Eugene's face. "I can't believe this is happening! Do you know how hard I prepared for my role? I ate nothing but dairy products for two weeks!" She clenches her fists in anger. "If I ever get my hands on that Arnold, I'll...I'll..." She falters, looking around. She reaches into her costume and pulls out a heart-shaped locket with Arnold's picture on it. "Soothe his feathered brow. Oh, my poor lost sweetheart, how I love you." That's right, Helga the bully was in love with Arnold. There's a crash and she turns to see Harold on top of the audience.

"And yet I hate you! And yet I love you! And yet I hate you! And yet I love you!" She hears raspy breathing behind her and looks to see Brainy, her apparent stalker. She punches him in the nose.

* * *

At Ernie's Pool Hall, the three are dancing on the pool table, the customers clapping for them. They circle each other before Arnold shoots some balls into the holes with Amy and Gerald's help. Arnold jumps down.

"Hey, waiter. Sodas for everyone." The customers cheer. "Rack 'em again, fat man."

"Whaddya mean you gave it to the wrong banana?" Vic asks Morrie.

"Umm..." He thinks.

"What did this other banana look like?"

The three hear him, eyes widening as they glance at each other. They start to sneak away. "You know, kinda small, kinda yellow, banana shoes...just like those," He points to Arnold's shoes. "Hey!"

The three start running. "Hey, you three!" The three start chasing after the fourth graders, pushing past a man with the sodas. Amy, Arnold, and Gerald run as fast as they can down the alley, jumping over a fence. They sneak into Zamboni Jones Psychic Palace. They're surrounded by darkness.

"Who enters the realm of the Great Zamboni?" There's a wall of beads in front of them. Arnold pushes past them to see a fat man eating chips on the floor.

"Uh...I'm Arnold. This is Gerald, and this is my little sister Amy," Arnold gestures to the two.

"How am I little, I'm your twin," Amy gives a blank look.

"You're an inch shorter and I'm ten minutes older."

"So," Amy huffs.

"Wait, wait! You're...you're Arnold, Gerald, and...Amy," he guesses, even though Arnold already told him their names. They give each other blank looks.

"Good guess," Gerald tells him.

"Ha! Zamboni Jones does not guess, he knows. And you have...come to me with a problem." They sit down.

"Yeah, we came downtown and at first everything was great. But...now it's all...gone wrong," Arnold explains.

"There is a disturbance in your karmic energy field. Hmmm...is there someone you have harmed in the past? Hmmm? Someone you have wronged?" He looks at them intensely.

Gerald thinks to himself, a vision of Helga crying appearing. "My play!" She hits herself with a stage light. "My play! My beautiful play!" She continues to hit herself as she says it.

"Nope, can't think of a soul," Gerald replies.

"Gerald!" Arnold grabs him by the shirt. "You gotta be kidding. Think of Helga and her play and all the kids at school we're letting down."

"Yeah! What are they gonna say if they find out we did this on purpose?" Amy replies.

"What's your point?" Gerald asks with a blank look.

"Ugh...Come on, we got a karmic energy field to fix. Bye Mr. Jones, thanks," Arnold leaves with the two.

"Hey!" He takes out his fake eyes. "Where's my $3.50?! I should have forseen this..."

They stop at the corner, Arnold whistling. The taxi approaches them and Arnold holds up some money. They get in, speeding to the pool hall. The three rush to the dumpster and grab their costumes. They run back inside the cab, passing by the three robbers who are caught by the police. They look back, smirking at each other. Amy covers herself as the boys get changed, already in her apple costume. A family is fixing their car and the cab stops in front of them. Arnold peeks his head out from the window, handing them the rest of the money. The cab drives away, the mother looking down at all the money she was just handed.

"Wow, people downtown sure are friendly!"

The cab drives up the bridge and to the school. They slip out, but not before Amy throws some money at the driver. They run up the stairs, the sign saying 'Tonight, Helga Pataki's The Four Food Groups, The Musical.'

Helga cries into a wall. "I'm ruined! Ruined! My future as a playwright is over!" Phoebe pokes her and she turns to her, Phoebe crying an equal amount of tears. Helga gives a determined look, the audience throwing various items at Harold and Eugene. They run off the stage and Helga walks up stage, clearing her throat. "Ladies and gentlemen...uh, there will be a small change in the fourth act. We won't be having it. It seems that _some_ of our food groups are not as dedicated as the rest of us. But the show must go ooooooooooooon!" Amy, Arnold, and Gerald accidentally bump her off the stage with their entrance.

"It's fruits, it's fruits, that really makes us toots," they start singing, wiggling their butts to make the audience laugh.

"It's fruits."

"It's fruits!"

"That give us all a hoot!" They sing together as Phoebe tries to help Helga. "It's not like any other food groups aren't important." The rest of the students appear behind them as the curtain lifts.

"In fact, you need us all to make your fingernails and eyes and organs. It's fruits, it's fruits, you gotta have your fruits. That's what the folks with scurvy say! Cause it's fruits, us fruits, that really makes us sing!" Arnold holds the last note as Helga tries to adjust her costume.

"Wait until I get my hands on you, Arnold, you..." She sees him singing. "Beautiful creature..."

"This is the end of our play!" All the children sing, the audience clapping and cheering. Helga manages to fix her costume, only for Brainy to release the curtain on her. She's thrown a bouquet of roses, sighing.

* * *

 **Eugene's Bike**

Animals run across the forest as Arnold tries to catch a butterfly. He runs with the net in hand, not noticing other animals following him. "Arnold!" He turns around, seeing a lion roaring at him before it changes into a gorilla, then a jaguar. Arnold falls down a waterfall and swings above alligators. He lands in front of monkeys. "Hey Arnold."

He blinks, back in reality. "Arnold! What are you looking at? Hello!" Arnold, Amy, and Gerald are on the crosswalk, waiting to cross the street. "Is anybody in there, man? Come on, we gotta cross now or we're gonna be late for school."

"Okay!" He holds Amy's hand as they run across the street. "We're right behind ya!" They walk into the playground and a boy walks up to them.

"Hey Arnold, hey Gerald, Amy. Wanna see my albino worm collection? I call this one Pinky," he holds up a worm.

"Uh, no thanks, Billy," Arnold waves his hand.

"Okay, but you don't know what you're missing!" He calls out.

"Uh, yeah, we do," Amy murmurs. Sheena, the tallest girl in their grade, jumps in front of them.

"Look, you guys! I got a new scab. If you squint real hard, it looks like Texas!" She shows a scab from her arm, Amy looking away in disgust.

"Uh, that's nice, Sheena," Gerald comments.

"The flexy part's the alimo!" She says, smiling.

"That's disgusting," Gerald whispers and she leaves. Brainy walks up to them, wheezing.

"Uh, nougats?" He shows a pile of dust and candy in his hands.

"Uh, none for me. We had a big breakfast," Arnold declines. Gerald shakes his head no.

"No...thank you, though, Brainy," Amy waves him off and he leaves.

"Well, folks, I think we've reached the end of our dork parade," he gestures to the three they just spoke to.

"Hey, here comes Eugene," Arnold points out, seeing Eugene ride a bike.

"I stand corrected. Am I seeing things?" Gerald comments.

"Nope, that's Eugene, alright," Arnold tells him as they all look at Eugene riding his bike. "And he's riding a pretty cool bike."

"Okay, that's a pretty cool bike even for Eugene," Amy admits. Everyone comments in awe as Eugene parks his bike. They surround him, complimenting his bike. One of the lenses of his glasses breaks.

"What'd you do, rob a bike store?" Gerald jokes and they laugh.

"No, it's Flag day and my family exchanges gifts. All my life, I've wanted a bike like this. Look at it! Look at it, you guys. Shiny red frame with little specs of metallic stuff on the paint, lots of gear so I don't have to pump hard when I'm going up a hill, big, thick tires so I can run over glass. It's the one thing I've wanted more than anything else. More than incredible wealth. More than world peace! It's my dream bike, you guys. My dream bike! And I finally got it. Just one thing it needs to make it perfect."

Iggy and Sid shrug at each other. Eugene pulls out a baseball card. "Ooo." Eugene places the card on one of the chains. He rides his bike around, everyone clapping.

"I guess every dork has his day," Gerald comments.

"Yeah," Arnold says as the bell rings. Eugene parks his bike and everyone runs off for class. The chain securing Eugene's bike loosens, falling off. Arnold looks down to see that his shoe is untied. "Hang on a second, Gerald. Amy, come and help me," he calls out, putting his books on the seat of a bike. Amy runs over to him, bending down to his shoe. The books fall, making the bikes tilt and Eugene's goes flying into the street. A sweeping truck runs over it, destroying it. Everyone turns around and Eugene pushes past them.

"My bike..."

"I'm really sorry, Eugene. I don't know what to say," Arnold tells him honestly.

"My bike..." Eugene repeats sadly.

"I think it's history, Eugene," Gerald reveals truthfully.

"My bike!" Eugene picks up his destroyed horn.

"It was an accident, Eugene. I'm really, really sorry," Arnold replies.

"Yeah, me too. I was just helping Arnold," Amy says. He turns to them and they look at him in guilt. He stands up, his face turning red before he screams. It echoes, sirens sounding and Amy covers her ears.

"No, no, no!" Eugene protests as a worker takes his bike away. Eugene clings onto his leg. "Please! No, not my bike! No ho ho!" He throws it into the dumpster. "No, please! Not my bike, no, no!" Arnold and Amy watch him.

"Man, I feel terrible about this, guys," Arnold turns to them.

"I can't believe we destroyed his dream bike," Amy's mouth opens in horror.

"Come on, guys. It wasn't your fault. Stuff like this always happens to the geeky kids. And of all the kids in the school, Eugene's gotta be the geekiest," Gerald jerks a thumb outside.

"You can say that again," Billy walks up to them. "Hey, where's Pinky? Pinky! Anybody seen my Pinky?"

A squish is heard and Helga looks at her worm-gutted shoe. "Eww!"

It rains as they leave for school and the two twins see the dumpster. They smirk, running up to the dumpster. Amy climbs on Arnold's shoulders and she climbs inside. They shake the water out of their hair when they get home and Arnold starts a small hand saw. Their room is a converted attic, as it has pull-down stairs. The roof is entirely made of windows. Their room is very high-tech with lights, a stereo system, and a hideaway couch that can be controlled with a remote. Their bed is a bunk bed, with Amy having the top bunk. There's a ladder near the wall which leads to her bed.

Arnold looks at the bike, sawing some parts off. He hands Amy a mask and he puts his on. They take a few parts and eventually paint it.

* * *

"Wow, guys," Eugene comments the next day. "It's beautiful!"

"Thanks," they reply as they have managed to revamp the entire bike, making it better than before. "It is kinda nice, isn't it?"

"Nice? Heck, it's better than ever!" Eugene honks the horn. "You didn't have to do this, Arnold and Amy."

"Yeah, but we wanted to," Arnold smiles.

"We felt bad after what happened to your old bike, so we figured why not make you a new one?" Amy grins.

"Wow guys, you're real pals. I'll take it for a ride right now!" He races off, but Arnold stops him.

"Wait, don't forget this," Arnold plants the card, smiling at him. He smiles back at them. "Good ride, Eugene!" They wave and their pet pig, Abner, stops in front of them. "Hey Abner, what ya got there?" Arnold takes a cable from the pig's mouth. "The brake cable? ...The break cable!"

"Oh no! Eugene!" Amy runs after him.

"Amy, slow down!" Arnold follows her.

"Wheee!" Eugene yells happily. "I'm a bird! I'm a plane! I'm..." His mouth drops open in shock when he sees an open car door in front of him. His handlebars break apart. "About to be very badly..." He crashes and they wince, looking away. They look to see the card falling down.

* * *

Eugene lies down in a hospital bed, practically every bone visible broken. There's a knock on the door. "Come in."

The twins walk in. "Hey, Eugene."

"Oh, hi Arnold, Amy. Thanks for coming." Arnold has a box in his hand while Amy holds daffodils.

"Listen, Eugene, we're really sorry," Arnold hangs his head.

"What do you mean?" Eugene asks. "You didn't do anything. It's just something that happened, that's all."

"Well, I brought you some candy to make it up to you," Arnold reveals chocolates.

"And I brought some flowers to brighten up the room," Amy puts the daffodils in a vase.

"Oh, that's nice of you guys but really, but you didn't have to," he tries reaching out, but he can't move his hand.

"Here, let me help you with that," he opens it, throwing the lid and moving the lever. Eugene hangs from the machine that was holding his leg. "Oh no, I'm sorry! Here, let me take that." He accidentally spins Eugene around.

"Ow, help!"

"Oh, man! I'm sorry!" Eugene screams and Amy sees the lever, pulling it. Eugene lands on the bed. "We'll just-"

"No, no! Guys, please. You don't have to. Please, just sit down there. Right over there," he points to chairs across from him and they sit. "Good." Arnold stands up, the IV beeping faster.

"Look Eugene, we'll make it up to you. We don't know how yet, but we wanna do it. You'll see," He takes Amy's hand and runs out the room.

"Ah, what pals." He comments, the last number of Eugene's room changing from a 9 to a 6. A doctor arrives from the elevator.

"Here it is. Room 336. Tonsil removal. Let's do it," they prepare to take out Eugene's tonsils.

* * *

 _He's a dork. He's a real dork. Stuff like this always happens to the geeky kids._

"You can't sleep either, huh?" Arnold calls out to Amy.

"No," she sighs and Arnold draws Eugene on an Etch-a-Sketch, remembering all his accidents when they first met...

 _Eugene and Arnold, as babies, use the see-saw. Amy plays with her doll._

 _"Arnold, Amy! Come quick! Harold is pulling his teeth out wide open!" They run off, Eugene falling off the see-saw._

 _"Hey Arnold!" Helga takes a crab out of the aquarium_ _in their classroom. "Shake hands with Mr. Crab!" Arnold pushes it away and it lands on Amy, who smacks it onto Eugene's head._

 _"Ow, ow, ow!" Everyone laughs at him._

 _Arnold puts glue on a paper, Amy making macaroni art while sharing with him. Eugene seems to be making a cake. Arnold places the glue down, but Eugene mistakes it as frosting, putting his glue-filled finger in his mouth. He tries to pull it out, but is stuck. Everyone starts laughing at him, Arnold looking at the glue._

"Every dork deserves his day," Arnold shakes the sketch away. He jumps off his bed and Amy looks down at him. "And we're gonna give that dork his day!" He thinks and Amy smiles.

"Arnold, you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Oh yeah."

* * *

Arnold runs up to Eugene's door, knocking on it. They wait patiently before Eugene comes out with an arm sling. "Oh, hi there, guys." His voice sounds raspy.

"Hey Eugene, what happened to your voice?" Arnold asks.

"I dunno. There was some kind of mix-up. They took my tonsils out by mistake." He points to his throat.

"That's terrible!" Amy frowns.

"No, not really. You don't need 'em, anyway. I kinda wish they would've left my spleen, though," Eugene points to a scar on his stomach.

"Listen, Eugene, we just want you to know that we're sorry for everything. The titter-totter, the paste-"

"Huh? I don't know what you're talking about," he says in confusion.

"But we figured out a way to pay ya back," Arnold starts.

"We're gonna take you out for the day! And nothing bad's gonna happen! One entire day, just the three of us having non-stop, full-on, action-packed fun!" Amy explains.

"Gee, guys, that sounds neat."

"Great! We'll be here to pick you up first thing tomorrow morning!" Eugene waves at them and they start to leave. "And don't forget to wear your-"

"Please don't say fun shoes," Amy interrupts.

"I wasn't going to!" He retorts as they run off. "...Okay, maybe I was."

"Those twins. They just keep giving and giving," Eugene closes his door.

* * *

The next morning, they knock on Eugene's door to pick him up. He answers it and they hold up tickets to a base-ball game. Eugene smiles at the tickets and they run off, but Eugene falls into a manhole. They pick him up. At Quigley Stadium, the vendor is giving out peanuts. Spuds McGee is playing, which is Eugene's favorite ball-player, since Eugene had his card. He hits the ball as the three drink from big cups. The ball flies towards them and Eugene stands up to catch it. Unfortunately for him, the ball hits him on the head. Eugene chases birds in the park and they ride a swan boat. Arnold poses near a statue and they look at an artist painting in the park. Eugene tosses a coin into the fountain and they see a hot dog cart. Arnold asks for three and he pays...only for Eugene to choke. The twins panic and the hot dog vendor hands them a Heimlich maneuver handbook, implying that it's happened before. Arnold helps Eugene and the hot dog hits a statue, then a sign...then pokes Eugene in the eye. Eugene screams as he falls to the ground. Arnold looks through a small telescope and puts a coin inside. Eugene, with an eye patch on, looks through it, only for the telescope to break and him to fall into the river. A splash is heard and Amy facepalms.

They pull him out of the water and Eugene vomits as they pace around later that night. "Sorry, Eugene. I guess we shouldn't have taken that ferry ride." They cringe as Eugene vomits again.

"Oh, that's okay," he turns to them. "You couldn't have known I get motion sickness."

"Of course you do," Amy murmurs.

"No, Eugene. We're really sorry. All we wanted to do is pay you back for all the trouble we've caused you. Everything just seems to go wrong. I guess this wasn't such a great day after all," Arnold sits down.

"Yeah...it didn't work out so great for you," Amy sits next to him.

"Are you kidding, guys? I ate hot dogs in the park! I almost got a home-run ball from Studs McGee! I watched the sunset on Hobart! And even got to swim in the river! By accident, sort of," he shrugs and he runs up to them. "I had a great time! You know, nobody's ever done anything like this for me before."

They smile bashfully before the bus arrives behind them. Eugene climbs on. "I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you enough for one of the best days I ever had!" The door closes on him, making his broken arm stuck. "Ow. See ya later, Arnold and Amy," he wiggles his fingers as a wave and they wave back. "Uh, excuse me? Mr. Driver, sir? Can you open this door?" The Spuds McGee card flies out and Amy picks it up.

"Hey, Eugene!" The bus is already far away to catch up, though.

"Eh, we'll give it to you tomorrow. Come on, sis, let's go home," Arnold places his arm around Amy's shoulder, leading the way.

"Arnooold, I'm the same age as you. Stop treating me like a baby," she whines.


	2. The Little Pink Book and Field Trip

**Angel: I GOT A CAR! WAHOO!**

Arnold stares at the front in boredom as he sits next to his sister. Suddenly, a spit ball is thrown at the back of his head. "Hey," he turns around in annoyance. Helga makes another one and stands up, throwing it at his head. He turns back again. "Hey, who's doing that? Cut it out." He looks at Helga, who gives an innocent look.

"What? What?"

He sighs and turns around, continuing to take notes. "Arnold, what a boob. And yet..." Helga sighs lovingly. "What a dreamboat." She looks around for anyone spying before she opens her math book, revealing a secret compartment for a pink book. She opens it up, putting her pencil to her chin.

 _Your eyes. like two green_ _jelly beans, are pools I want to swim. In the classroom, my heart doth swoon...yet, I want to beat your_ _face in._

Helga closes the book with a sigh. Soon, the bell rings and school is over. Gerald, Amy, and Arnold get on the bus and sit down. "Move it, move it!" Helga pushes students out of the way, stomping past Arnold. She cuts a piece of his hair and he turns around. Helga glares at him. "What are you looking at, geek bait?" He turns back in his seat, crossing his arms. Helga sits in the back of the bus, taking out her diary. She sighs lovingly at the piece of hair, sniffing it.

"Suddenly I feel inspired..." She pulls out a bandage, using that to tape down the lock of hair. Turning to a blank page. "I close this tone with my signet beloved. H is for the head I'd like to punt, e is for every time I see the little runt, l is for longing for our firstest kiss, g is for how good that longing is," she presses her head against the window before snapping out of it, "And a is for Arnold, of course. Duh!"

When the bus stops, Helga stands in front of Arnold, who's in her way. "One side, moron," he moves out of the way and when she puts her book in her bag, it drops onto the pile of books near Amy, Arnold, and Gerald. Helga gets off, not even noticing. The three get off at their stop and Gerald notices the book.

"Hey, what's this little pink book?" He picks it up.

"It isn't yours?" Arnold asks.

"Please," he retorts and they glance at Amy. She shakes her head.

"It's not mine. Besides, my book has _way_ more decoration," She holds up a pink book with stickers on it. Gerald opens it and starts laughing.

"What's so funny?" Arnold wonders as Amy tries to peek.

"Oh guys, who wrote this stuff?"

"What is it?" Arnold tries to snatch it, but Gerald holds it away.

"Listen to this. 'To Arnold, with the red hot lips.' "

"Huh?" The football head boy asks in confusion.

"They're not even red..." Amy murmurs.

" 'Your football head, your awesome face, your grungy cheeks, your cat-like grace," everyone around them starts listening in. " 'Whose red-hot lips do I wanna taste? Three guesses, stupid! Arnold, Arnold, Arnold!' " Everyone starts laughing with him and Arnold looks around nervously.

"Well, it must've been some other Arnold," he insists, already feeling embarrassed.

"I dunno," Grandpa Phil nudges him. "It fits your description pretty well, hot lips!"

"Grandpa!" Arnold yells as he snickers.

"Sorry, boy, couldn't resist."

"Grandpa, you're making it worse," Amy turns to him.

"Oh, worried that you don't have a secret admirer, my little pumpkin?" He pats her head and she gives a blank look.

"Gimme that!" Arnold snatches the book from Gerald.

"Hey, let me read one!" Everyone around continues to laugh as the three kids leave.

"So long, Romeo!"

* * *

Helga is just arriving home, sitting on her stoop. She opens her bag, but is surprised to find no book. She pulls her textbooks out frantically before throwing the rest to the ground. She gasps in realization, remembering she dropped it...with Arnold's books. "Oh my..." She screams, car alarms going off. Helga runs down the stairs, running as fast as she can. No matter what, Arnold could not know that it's her book.

Gerald takes the book from Arnold's hands as they approach the boarding house. "Hey!"

"Listen to this one. 'Let me count the-' "

"Shut up!" Arnold covers his ears and Amy rolls her eyes. Helga approaches the corner before hiding and Amy sees her.

"Huh? What's _she_ doing here?"

"Why, why did I sign my name? I was too bold! Those poems weren't meant to be seen! Until I'm dead and buried, and worms have consumed my flesh! Arnold must never see that last page!" Helga declares.

"So you like my brother, huh?"

Helga's eyes widen like saucers as she turns to Amy, who's crossing her arms. "Amy! U-Uh...what you heard...it wasn't...I didn't..."

Amy smiles a little. "So you're just pretending to hate him so he doesn't suspect anything, huh? I have to admit, that is pretty clever..."

"Amy," Helga grabs her by the shirt. "I swear, if you tell anyone, I'll-"

"You'll beat me up, I got it. I won't tell him," Amy sweats a little.

"Good," she places Amy down. "Now do me a favor. See if you can stop him from reading that last page!"

"This is my brother we're talking about. I'm gonna need a lot of luck," she crosses her arms. "You do what you can in the meantime." She leaves, Helga leaving in relief.

"Alright, good...she won't tell. Now I just have to make sure it stays that way."

"Ah, I'll steal it inside their room, somehow," she stands on the left side.

Arnold and Gerald walk into the twins' room, Amy following a little far behind. "What took you so long?" Arnold asks curiously and she waves her hands.

"Um, I was...feeding Abner!" Abner is their pet pig.

"Okay...there are ways to find out who wrote those poems, Gerald. We just have to be scientific," Gerald reaches out to grab it, but Arnold stops him. "Wait! Don't touch that. It's evidence," he grabs the book with two pencils. He opens a page to see a piece of his hair and a pencil. "No bite marks on the pencil. The strands of hair...first, we make a list of suspects."

"W-Wait, we don't really need to go through all this. We could just, um, return the book at school tomorrow! Wouldn't they like it back?" Amy says nervously.

"I _need_ to know who's writing these poems about me, Amy."

"Okay," Gerald grabs a notepad. "Who was there at the bus stop? Let's see..." Arnold paces around, glancing at Amy.

"You're not gonna help?"

"N-No," she inches towards his desk and he stands in front of her.

"Amy, get away from it," he gently pushes her to the bunk beds. "Go do your homework or something." She groans to herself, since Arnold was not gonna let her near his desk.

"Jennifer was there," Gerald points out as Amy looks out the window.

"The one who always chews with her mouth open? Ugh, no way," Arnold shakes his head in disgust.

"Bodie?"

"Not!"

Amy pulls out a large piece of white paper, writing something on it.

"Hmm...some older girls were there," Gerald recalls, reminding Arnold of a certain someone.

"Wait a minute. Ruth McDougal was there..." He could just see her...Ruth is a tall sixth grader with a blue sweater and plaid skirt. Her brown hair is shoulder-length, styled in two long hanging pigtails in the back of her head. She has braces when she smiles... "Ruth..."

"Arnold," Gerald snaps him out of it. "She's in the sixth grade."

"It could happen," Arnold argues, Amy rolling her eyes as she shows Helga a message:

'No dice.'

"Dream on," Gerald tells him. While Amy thought Ruth was friendly enough, she didn't think that she was the right girl for Arnold. After all, she was too old for a fourth grader. Now Helga on the other hand was a perfect match the more she thought about it. Yes, it might seem...unlikely for some people, as the saying goes: 'Opposites attract.'

"Only one way to find out. We need to collect some evidence from every girl on that list. Well, except Amy, she already denied it."

"Eww," Amy sticks her tongue. "Arnold, you're my brother and all, but I would NOT write poems about you. Especially not those kinds."

"But that'll take all day!" Gerald refers to collecting evidence.

"Not with Abner," Arnold whistles with two fingers, the pig storming into the room. Gerald laughs as Abner circles him.

"A pig? What's he gonna do?"

"Don't doubt Abner," Amy bends down and pets him. Abner nuzzles her and she laughs.

"Here boy," Arnold holds out the book. "Sniff this." He sniffs it like a dog before his eyes widen, running out the door.

"Wow, look at him go!" The three follow after the pig, Amy silently hoping that Helga had gotten her message. Arnold closes the door before running back and putting the book against Amy's flower pot. Helga climbs up the ladder, Abner approaching.

"Hey Abner, wait up!" Arnold shouts. Helga looks around the corner, gasping and hiding herself. "Wait up!" Amy skids to a stop, glancing back at her brother and Gerald.

"Sorry Helga, he insists on finding out who wrote it! I couldn't get it in time," she whispers.

Helga growls in annoyance. "Hey, you asked me to keep your secret! He didn't read the page yet, did he?" Amy waves her off, running after her brother. "But he left the book on the dresser near our beds!" Helga climbs up to the roof, peeking through the window.

"Aha!" The window is suddenly opened and she falls inside. "Ow." She shakes her head, looking around in awe. "I'm...I'm in his room...well, his and Amy's, anyway. A place I've often visited in my dreams..." She picks up a sock. "The temple of your soul...my love." She sighs, laying down on the bottom bunk. She sniffs the pillow, gasping. "Oh my gosh! What _is_ that shampoo?" She looks up, seeing the book right where Amy said it was.

She runs up to it and climbs, but hears someone coming. She falls to the ground, looking towards the door. "Go on, Abner. Go on downstairs." She gasps, running into the closet. One side was Amy's clothes while the other was Arnold's.

"I don't know," Gerald opens the door to the room, Amy looking around for Helga. "Abner may be a good tracking hound, but he's a lousy detective."

"I'll say," Arnold throws down mushrooms that Abner had found. One of them falls near the closet. Helga cringes, putting her fingers to her teeth. "Hey, wait a minute. Something's wrong here. Something's...missing..."

"Whatever it was, I borrowed it!" Amy suddenly exclaims.

"No, not that. I know!" Arnold steps forward, Helga's teeth shattering, realizing that she took one of Arnold's socks. He pulls out the remote, turning on some music and lights. "That's better." Both Amy and Helga sigh in relief. "Let's get down to the evidence." Arnold opens up his backpack. "Exhibit one, a drinking glass from Jennifer's cafeteria tray," he gives it to Gerald carefully to bag it.

"Check."

"Exhibit two, Dodie's retainer," he holds up a food-covered retainer, Amy looking in disgust.

"Check."

"Exhibit three, Ruth McDougal's hair ribbon." Helga growls at this revelation and Amy cringes, having heard said growl. If there was anyone for Helga to _really_ hate, it was anyone Arnold had a crush on. And Ruth was no exception.

"Fingerprints," The three have lab coats on, along with a make-shift forensics desk. Arnold pulls down a magnifying glass, looking at Jennifer's cup. "Yup. They're human." He looks at a page in the book, noting that the fingerprints are not a match. "Negative."

Gerald eyes the retainer, holding it up against the pencil. "Negative."

Helga looks at her watch, wondering how much longer it would take before she could get her book and get out!

"Alright, now Ruth's hair ribbon," Amy takes it from Arnold as he was sniffing it. She plucks a hair, eyeing it.

"Is it Ruth's hair? Is it, huh?" Arnold asks excitedly. Amy shakes her head, though to be honest, she was thankful she already knows the true writer. They do some tests, Helga watching. Arnold sighs as they wait. "So guys, when these results come out, will we finally found out who wrote the poems?"

"No," Amy sighs in relief. "I was just making hot chocolate." Arnold gives him a blank look and Amy licks her lips as Gerald offers her some. She sees Helga peeking, gesturing for her to go back in the closet.

"Okay, based on our research, we can safely reduce that our suspect is female, lives in the Tri-State area, and is somewhere between the ages of 8 and...87."

"Ooo, we're doing good," Gerald places his hands on his hips.

"Arnold, that's practically three fourths of the whole city," Amy rolls her eyes, sipping her drink. "Mm, marshmallows."

"Okay, okay, let's narrow the field a little," he walks towards the bookshelf. "This yearbook has the autograph of everybody at PS 118. We're gonna compare handwriting of each suspect on the list." Amy's eyes widen.

"Oh no..." Helga laments as they sit on the bottom bunk.

"Let's start with Ruth McDougal," Arnold says dreamily.

"Arnold, face it, man. It's not Ruth, it never was Ruth, it's never gonna be Ruth!" Gerald lays it straight with him. "Okay?"

"Or just maybe s-she purposely changed her handwriting because she was shy to let me know how much she really cares," Helga bites her finger to keep herself from screaming.

"Bro, I'm telling this because I care about you..." Amy places her hands on her shoulders seriously. "Arnold? You're crazy."

Gerald bursts into laughter and Arnold pushes her hands away. "Whatever! Abigail V. Arnstead. Nope, definitely not. Jennifer Barnes..." By the time he gets to the O's, it's already dark. Amy is asleep on his pillow. Arnold drapes his blanket over her. "Amy Obliever."

"Hey Arnold, I give up. The next name on this list is Helga Pataki." They burst into laughter, Amy opening her eyes in slight annoyance. Helga scowls, clenching her fist.

"You hear something?" Gerald sits up. Helga covers her mouth.

"Must be coyotes...my sister doesn't snore," they glance at Amy.

"Let's face it, Arnold. We're stumped." Gerald jumps off his bed. "We aren't any closer to figuring this out and we've been working all day." He yawns, slumping. "Let's take a break."

"Yes, yes!" Helga silently cheers, clapping her hands at her opportunity. "Take a break!"

"Let's go down to Slausen's and get an ice cream cone."

"Hm, yeah," Arnold closes the yearbook. "I could go for some ice cream."

"Yes, ice cream! Good plan!" Helga whispers.

"Then again..."

"Aw, come on, Arnold!" Gerald insists.

"Well..."

"Go, go!" Helga cheers in the closet.

"What's that?" Gerald turns to the closet, having heard her.

"I've gotta stop talking to myself!"

"Are you sure you don't hear something?" Gerald eyes the closet, but doesn't go to investigate.

"Look, we're both tired," Arnold gets off his bed. "I'm just gonna go right to bed. Besides, Amy wouldn't like it if we went to Slausen's without her. You know how much she loves that place."

"Okay," they do their secret handshake. "See you tomorrow, Arnold. "Goodnight, princess," Gerald ruffles Amy's hair a little and he waves as he leaves.

"See ya." Helga pulls out her phone. It looks like she was gonna stay here for the night.

"Come in, this is Mighty Falcon. Mighty Falcon." She sighs. "It's me, Phoebe, Helga. Listen, call my mom and tell her I'm sleeping over with you. Just do it!" She hangs up, the lights turning off. She looks to see Arnold carrying Amy to her bed. He climbs down and goes to sleep.

"Goodnight, sweet prince," Helga closes the door.

* * *

The next morning, at 7 AM, Arnold shuts off his alarm, yawning. Helga looks exhausted. Arnold gets dressed, Amy climbing down. Arnold picks out his clothes for her and she rolls her eyes, Arnold putting the diary in his pocket. Helga falls down to the floor in exhaustion and Amy's eyes widen.

"I thought you went home..."

"No! I have to get it back no matter what!"

Amy stays silent before leaving the room. Maybe if she kept Helga's secret, she'd be more nice to her...it'd be a nice change of pace, that's for sure. She walks down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Morning, Shortman and pumpkin," Grandpa Phil places Amy's breakfast in front of her. "Ever find out who your secret admirer is?"

"Nah. Whoever it is, I wish they'd go jump up a rope." Amy slaps his arm.

"When I was your age, I did, well, I don't actually remember, but still, you're pretty darn lucky to have someone who cares about you so much," he ruffles Arnold's hair.

"You know," Arnold flips his hair back up. "It is kinda cool. Obsessive, but cool. See you later, Grandpa. Come on, sis," he grabs Amy's hand and backpack, running off with her.

"Book's gone straight to the kid's head."

* * *

"A little twerp who sets my soul aflame. Put them all together, they spell Arnold," everyone else laughs while Helga approaches, looking terrible. Arnold is reading from the diary.

"Hey, Helga. What's wrong with you? You sleep in a closet or something?" Stinky giggles, Helga shoving him into a garbage can.

"Aw, man Arnold, that is the corniest poem yet." Helga sees the diary, eyes widening.

"Whoever wrote 'em is pathetic. Read another one," A small tear falls from Helga's eye and Amy sweats a little.

"Arnold, I don't really think-"

"Okay, but it's the last page." Helga gasps, Amy looking around in panic. "Here we go. H is for the head I'd like to punt. E is for every time I see the little runt. L is-" Helga runs up, tears out the page from the book, and chews it. "Hey! What'd you do that for?"

She throws the spitball at him. "First spitball of the day, Football Head. Yes!"

"What is it with her?" Arnold wonders, Gerald. Helga hugs the piece of hair, swooning as Stinky calls for help in the trashcan, which rolls away.

"This really bites! Help me, help me!"

 **Field Trip**

The class are riding the bus to the aquarium. "Nothing like a field trip, huh guys?"

"What?" Arnold is distracted. "Oh, are we at the aquarium yet?" He cleans up the foggy window, Harold spitting a spitball at Eugene.

"No," Amy shakes her head.

"But we'd better get there soon. Everyone's getting kinda restless," Gerald looks at everyone else.

"I'll say," Arnold comments, everyone horsing around. Harold appears in front of them, holding a milk carton.

"Look, I'm a whale!" He chugs his milk before squirting it out of his nose, splashing the three. He laughs as the three are unamused. Everyone laughs along with him. They pass a newspaper stand.

"What do you mean, you've never been to the aquarium?" Gerald asks the twins.

"Well, last time we had a field trip there, we were in the first grade. Amy and I had the chickenpox," Arnold explains.

"Yeah, sharing a room can have its disadvantages," Amy rubs her arm.

"It was great!" Gerald recalls. "They had this tidepool thing, full of those gross bat rays you can touch with your fingers. It was really slimey and disgusting. I went back nine times."

"And they got a penguin named Stewart that eats its own barf!" Joey Stevenson jumps down from the cable.

"And a sea snail who can draw a replica of the Mona Lisa with his slime trail!" Eugene jumps down. "Of course, I can do that too," he wipes his nose with his sleeve. He shows his arm. "See?"

"Dweeb!" Harold comments.

"And," Gerald jumps down from the seat. "They've got Lockjaw."

"Yeah, Lockjaw!" The other students say in excitement.

"Lockjaw? Who's Lockjaw?" Arnold asks, unfamiliar with the animal.

"I've never heard of him," Amy murmurs. They arrive at the aquarium, the students looking outside in excitement. The class frantically jumps off to run inside. Arnold and Amy are the last ones to get off, trailing behind the others.

"Wow..." They look at the environment around them, covered by glass. They were amazed at the sight. Amy looks at all the fish and seaweed. They see a jellyfish swim by. The class moves excitedly, cheering. "Amy, stay close to me, okay?"

"Yes, big brother," Amy rolls her eyes.

"Welcome to the city aquarium. We have a few simple rules to follow: No feeding the fish, no tapping on the glass, no diving in the shark tank, no video cameras, no photography, _no sushi chefs,"_ the tour guide sees a sushi chef behind them. He sulks, walking away. "No smoking-"

"So who's Lockjaw?" Amy asks Gerald.

"You kidding me? He's only the scariest sea monster in the ocean deep," he explains.

"If there was a battle between him and a giant squid," Sid punches the air. "Lockjaw would win."

"I bet he could ram a boat with his head and sink it!" Stinky states.

"I heard that he could swallow a kid whole...and spit out the bones," Gerald shivers.

"Lockjaw, huh?" Arnold murmurs. "Cool."

"No guns, no knives, no plastic explosives, and most of all, no skateboards!" He takes a skateboard from one of the students, throwing it into a storage room full of skateboards. Everyone looks at the animals, Sid and Harold checking out the sharks. Arnold and Amy walk up to them, seeing the Hammerhead shark.

"Hey, is that Lockjaw?" Arnold points to it.

"Heh. Yeah, right," Harold retorts.

Helga and Phoebe look at some fish.

"Which one's Lockjaw?" Amy asks them.

"You kidding? Lockjaw could suck these guys up like vermin."

"Hey, guys!" They look to see Gerald. "We're gonna go see Lockjaw. Come on!" They smile a little, following after them. They end up outside, looking at a site. Arnold and Amy manage to catch up to them, looking to see nothing. Arnold looks in boredom, Brainy pushing a button.

 _"And now, presenting_ _the terror of the deep, the ancient reptile whose ancestors date back over 150 million years, the mighty Lockjaw!"_

Everyone cheers as Lockjaw emerges from the water. _"That's_ Lockjaw?" Arnold asks in surprise, as the turtle is rather small.

"Big deal," Harold comments.

"He seemed a lot bigger when we were in first grade," Sid says.

"He's not so scary!" Stinky replies.

"What a rip-off!" Harold throws his ice cream, hitting Lockjaw with it. "Yes! I got him, yes!"

"That turtle really bites," Stinky laughs as Lockjaw goes into the water to wash himself off. Arnold and Amy glance at the class as they mistreat Lockjaw. They look upset about how they were treating him, all because he wasn't what they expected. They walk away, walking downstairs to Lockjaw's tank.

"Lockjaw?"

"Hey, Lockjaw?" Lockjaw appears in front of them. "Hey man." Lockjaw presses his hand against the glass. Arnold and Amy look a little surprised before they return the gesture.

* * *

The bus drops them off home. Most of the class call out goodbye to them, Harold pressing his body against the window. "I got him, yes!"

Amy sighs, Arnold walking up the stairs.

"Cuse me," they turn around to a Campfire Lassie. "We're selling chocolate turtles to raise money for our trip to Scotland!" She opens the box.

"No thanks," Arnold opens the door, the pack of animals running out the door.

"Hi Grandpa."

"Hey there, shortman and pumpkin. How do you like my new turtleneck?" He shows the collar.

"Uh, it's nice, Grandpa," Arnold says solemnly.

"Now if I could only find my tortoise glasses. Then I'd be really looking snazzy," he places circles over his eyes using his fingers. The twins walk up the stairs. Arnold pulls down the cord to let the stairs fall. They walk up the stairs and close the door. Arnold pulls out the remote, turning on the DVD player. Jazz music starts to play and he presses another button to turn on the lights. He presses the red button, the couch appearing from the wall. Arnold lays down on it as Amy presses a button on her own remote, her bean bag chair appearing from the ground. They lay down, listening to the music. Arnold looks at the ground, the floor patterns turning into Lockjaw. Arnold gives a sad look, looking up at the ceiling. A turtle swims by. He sighs slowly, covering his face with a pillow. There's a knock on their door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, mon kappy tans," Grandma Gertie walks in, holding a tray. "I brought sandwiches."

"We're really not hungry, Grandma," Amy looks up.

"Oh, what's the matter?" She places the tray on the table. "I haven't seen you this down since Von Cluck swept through Belgium back in August 14!" She takes the pillow off Arnold. Sometimes Grandma Gertie could be a little...crazy. She mixed up holidays, she dressed in different outfits, and the food she makes was not always...edible, but she was probably the only one in the boarding house that understood the twins.

"I don't know, Grandma. It's just..." Arnold sits up. "Let us ask you something, Grandma."

"How would you feel if you were living in the ocean and some scientists captured you and put you in a tank?" Amy sits up.

"WHAT?! No sir, they'll never take me! Never!" She stands up.

"Calm down, Grandma. It's a hypothetical question," Arnold assures.

"Oh," she sits back down. "Well, why didn't you say so?"

"I thought I did..." Amy murmurs, joining Arnold and Grandma on the couch.

"See, we went to the aquarium today," Arnold explains.

"Oh, the big house for fish," She moves her glasses down.

"And there's this really old turtle there," Amy continues.

"Old, eh," Grandma comments.

"Yeah, and he's all covered in graffiti, and his water's dirty. The kids throw stuff at him," Arnold finishes.

"And he's old," Grandma elaborates.

"Well, yeah," Amy rubs her neck. "And sad and dirty. And his tank's too small."

"And he's old..."

"Yeah, and he's-"

"Why, this is an outrage!" She interrupts Arnold, standing up.

"Grandma and he's so-"

"Treating a wise creature like he's some sort of common criminal!" She paces around.

"Are we still talking about Lockjaw?" Amy whispers to Arnold.

"I think they just-"

"Come on! There's not a moment to lose!" She declares.

"But-"

"I said come on!" She drags them out of their room. "We got a mission to complete!"

Grandma throws things out of her closet. "Now I know it's in here somewhere."

"Grandma, uh...what are you doing?" Arnold wonders and Amy got the sense from Grandma that this was personal.

"We're taking action! Righting a wrong, grasping its straws! Aha!" She pulls out red sweaters, handing it to them. "Perfect!"

* * *

The garage door opens, revealing the Packard. Grandma drives it at high speed, wearing black clothing. "From now on, call me Chief. And you're Agent Nine and Agent Ten," she turns to Arnold and Amy. They glance at each other. She pulls out a bag. "Take this, Nine and Ten. It's our gear." Amy takes the bag and they open it to see...knitting needles and yarn. Amy places it next to her.

"Grandma, you have a driver's license?" Arnold wonders.

Grandma laughs, not answering the question, but it was a pretty good hint that no, she did not. They arrive in front of the aquarium, the three stepping out. "Grandma, we're trespassing," Amy whispers. "This is public property!" She doesn't listen, opening the trunk.

"Well, we're the public, aren't we?" She grabs a grappling hook and face paint, putting it on their cheeks. They start walking and Grandma throws the grappling hook to the wall, even though it wasn't that tall. She starts climbing, the twins going through the entrance. Grandma dusts herself off, following the two. She starts crawling to the ticket booth, looking inside for anyone. "Good. The sentry's not at his post. Now's our chance, come on!" They follow her inside. "You lead, number Nine and Ten. You know where the prisoner's cell is."

The tour guide starts laughing. "Here, have a cookie. Oh, you tossed your cookies." He laughs as the three walk right past him. "Here's a cookie. Oh, you tossed your cookies again."

They make it to the site, Arnold lifting the cage handle from the inside. They walk up to the turtle, bending down to him.

"Oh, oh my goodness! This is worse than I thought!"

"See? We told you," the twins pet the turtle.

"Well, I know one thing that'll cheer him up..."

* * *

They give Lockjaw a bath to wash off the graffiti that was drawn on his shell over the years. Arnold looks at Lockjaw, who looks up. "Hey, I think he's starting to trust us."

"Good, then we can get him out of here," Grandma answers.

"But Grandma, isn't that against the law?" Arnold wonders.

"Against the law, the king perhaps, but against the law of common decency? I think not!" She declares. Arnold smiles at her.

"Don't worry, buddy, we're bustin' ya out of this joint," Amy agrees.

"Now you're getting the hang of it, Number Ten!" They try to lift Lockjaw, but are unable to move him.

"Careful, don't get too close to his mouth," Arnold warns. Grandma screams, showing only her sleeve.

"Grandma," the twins say in worry, but she reveals her arm.

"These darn sleeves are too long." They try to lift him again, but are unsuccessful. Arnold accidentally hits the button with his back.

 _"Lockjaw, rare and Galapagos turtle. Weighs well over 400 pounds."_

"Wait here, Grandma and Amy. I've got an idea," Arnold runs off as the radio keeps playing. The two wait patiently until they smile, Arnold showing a skateboard.

They roll Lockjaw through the hall, the tour guide feeding one of the sharks. "What's wrong, big shark? Come on, Jaws! Bite me!" He laughs, accidentally falling into the water. Oh, was he in trouble now. They continue to roll Lockjaw until they put him in the car.

"Punch it, Grandma!" Arnold and Amy exclaim, the car speeding off as the sun starts to set. They roll Lockjaw across the pier.

"Do you think he knows the way to the ocean?" Arnold asks.

"Well, sure! It's instinct," she points to her brain. They roll him into the water. He lifts his head up, turning to them. "Run! Be free! Go! Live a life again!"

Lockjaw seems determined by her words and starts swimming. He touches the water before he leaves. He looks at the pier before swimming out into the distance.

"Hey Grandma?" Amy questions.

"Yes, Number Ten?"

"You're the best!" The twins tell her.

"So are you, Amelia and Arnold." All three of them are proud of what they've done for Lockjaw. "Now come on! All this exercise gives me a hankering for some turtle soup!" This causes the two to sigh.


	3. Arnold's Hat and Stoop Kid

**Angel: Thanks for all your support so far, guys! As for the 2018 reboot, I don't know if I'll write it or not...after what I've heard, it sounds like something I wouldn't want to write. And besides, Leo and Amy are still teenagers regardless. I don't know if Amy will like someone, let alone anyone from her own grade.**

 **And animegurl128...could you NOT pressure me to keep writing? I have three exams to study for, I'm in college. So you need to back off me. Or I could, you know, NOT write this story. I said once a week I would post this, and if you can't accept that, then don't read it. I have enough on my plate already, I don't need you asking me to update so soon since you think I take forever.**

 **Also...IT'S FLIPPING SNOWING! YAAAAY!**

Arnold flies onto a kite in the sky, an eagle screeching. He flies into a cloud. The football-headed boy could feel the wind in his hair, content with himself. "Hey Arnold. Hey Arnold," a voice repeats continuously. "Hey Arnold!"

"Hey Arnold, Hey Arnold, Hey Arnold, Hey Arnold, Hey Arnold-" he unplugs his alarm clock, looking up at Amy's bed. He wondered if his little sister was awake yet. He sits up and climbs up the ladder, seeing her peacefully sleeping. He shakes her awake and she groans, turning around to him.

"Come on, we have to get ready for school." He climbs down and she follows. They brush their teeth in the bathroom, spitting at the same time. Arnold adjusts his hat while Amy fixes her hair. Arnold walks into the shower, Amy having already used it. After he's done, he turns off the hot water and grabs his towel. He fixes his hair and dries his hat. He sighs a little, Amy walking into the kitchen as Grandma rings the triangle. Arnold sits next to Amy and pancakes are set in front of them.

"Eat up, Tex and gal! You'll need your strength for the cattle drive!"

"Yeah, right Grandma."

"That's Calamity Grandma!" She corrects. "And take off your hat while you're at in the ranch house, Tex! Why, you've got manners of an old goat!" She throws his hat up and Arnold catches it.

"Grandma! You know I never take off my hat," Arnold reminds her. And it's true, he didn't. Not even when he showered. He starts cutting Amy's pancakes.

"Once a cowboy, always a cowboy," she walks away as they eat.

* * *

Amy, Arnold, and Gerald sit in the park later, trying to give their kite some improvement so it'll fly. "Gerald, I think the problem with this kite is in its aerodynamics," Arnold places the spatula at one of the corners.

"Well, I think the problem with the kite is, it won't fly," Gerald shrugs. Arnold pops his gun, only to have it pop in his face. Amy giggles as she hugs her teddy bear. He pulls it off his mouth.

"Well, I checked the weather today. The wind's supposed to be perfect for flying a kite," Amy looks at the sky.

"Maybe if we add more knots to the tail," he suggests, sticking his gum under the bench. They stand up and Arnold waves Amy over. She runs over to them and stays near Arnold, none of them noticing that Helga was spying on them. Well, maybe not Amy. She glances back to see Helga bending down and taking the gum with a pair of tweezers. Amy rolls her eyes in amusement before turning her attention back to the path. Ever since she found out about Helga's secret, they've been on pretty good terms. That is, when no one was around. Helga didn't want anyone to suspect why she was being friendly to Amy when she supposedly hates her brother so much. Amy was okay with this arrangement. After all, she was keeping Helga's secret, so she didn't expect to be let off the hook that easily. It's Helga Pataki here.

"Ah," Helga holds up the bag with the gum inside. "I better get this home fast, before it dries!"

* * *

She arrives home, going up to her room as fast as she can. She pants as she quickly closes the door. Helga sneaks into her dark closet, closing the door. She turns on the lamp and pulls away her clothes to reveal a shrine of Arnold, made out of gum from Arnold himself. It was so gross, flies were around it. But Helga didn't care, as long as she could worship Arnold in secret. She takes the gum, using it as Arnold's nose. "It's so beautiful...a monument to my beloved. And yet, something is missing," she narrows her eyes in thought. "But what could it be?" She turns to the shrine in realization, seeing no hat. She couldn't have a shrine of her crush with no hat!

* * *

Arnold thinks to himself as he looks at the kite. "Why don't we try it without the tail?"

"Face it, Arnold. Your kite bites!" Gerald complains, walking down the steps from the city library.

"Aww," Amy pouts. "But I wanted to see it fly..."

Arnold sighs at him. "Come on, Gerald, look at how disappointed Amy is."

"I know and I'm sorry Arnold, but why don't you just give up/ This kite doesn't belong in the sky, it belongs in a trash can," Gerald explains.

"Gerald," Arnold sighs again. Amy's eyes widen as she sees Helga posing as a gargoyle. She quickly keeps moving and Helga tries to snatch Arnold's hat, but falls into the trash can.

"Oh, uh, I'm gonna throw this out!" Amy tells the boys, running back to her. "What are you doing?!"

"Trying to get his hat, doi!" Helga pops out of the trash can.

"Are you crazy?! Our parents gave him that hat, Helga. He practically needs it," Amy argues.

"I must have that hat!" Helga declares, Amy sighing as she walks away.

"You are one determined girl to keep this a secret to go to this length," Amy murmurs, shaking her head.

Arnold ties a balloon to the kite. "Gerald, this kite's gonna fly. I guarantee," Arnold declares as they leave. They're about to pass a truck as Helga watches them using binoculars.

"Helga, you're a genius," she reveals a fishing pole. Helga throws it and she misses, catching the back of the truck instead. "Oops." The truck speeds off, taking Helga with it. She screams as she's dragged across the roof. A pigeon coop stands in her way and she screams as she crashes into it. A pigeon relives itself on her nose and she gives a look of disgust.

"What do I have to do, anyway?" She starts to wipe herself off. "All I want is his stupid hat! That's all! And world domination, but now just the hat! Is that too much to ask?"

Meanwhile, the three have finally got the kite to fly. "See? I told you I'd make it fly." Gerald gives a blank look, placing his hands on his hips.

"Yaaay!" Amy cheers. A gust of wind picks up, blowing the kite away as the entire string rolls off. It also blows away Arnold's hat.

"Hey, my hat!"

"I'll never get it!" Helga wails. "Never, never, never! No matter what I do, I'll never get Arnold's hat!" As soon as she finishes that sentence, the hat just so happens to land right in front of her. "Hey, Arnold's hat!" She picks it up. "I knew I'd get it! I knew it all this time! Oh, Arnold, my love!" She kisses the hat in delight, running off.

* * *

She gets back to her shrine in her closet, bending down and putting the hat in its rightful place...or was it? "It is finished." She takes the head, putting on some music. She dances around with the head. "What's that, you say? I dance divinely? My eyes are lovely?" She drops the lamp, breaking it. "You've never seen a more beautiful girl? I knew you couldn't fight your true feelings for me!" She kisses where the lips are, the door knocking. Someone tries to open the door.

"Helga! The door's locked, honey, what are you doing in there?" Her mother, Miriam Pataki. Who's always drinking her 'smoothies.' She just pretty much mopes around the house all day and falls asleep, often slurring her words as well.

"Nothing, Mother," Helga mumbles, her mouth stuck to the gum.

"Okay, bye."

* * *

"It's no big deal, Arnold. It's just a hat. Why don't you go buy another one?" Gerald suggests as Arnold mopes.

"No can do, man," Amy shakes her head.

"You don't understand, Gerald. My hat is special. It's part of me..." They walk past Mr. Green's shop, Green Meats.

"It's all in your mind, Arnold. You look fine without it," Gerald argues.

"Hey Arnold, what happened? You get a bad haircut or something?" Mr. Green wonders.

"No, Mr. Green. I lost my hat," he tells him.

"Hey, Amy, come over here." She does so with a smile. Most of the shopkeepers were very fond of Amy. She always helped them whenever they asked and sometimes, they gave her free samples. He bends down, handing her a piece of cooked steak.

"Mmm!" She smiles, taking it and waving as she follows after her brother.

"Hey Arnold, what's with your hair? You lose a fight with a lawnmower?" Mrs. Vitello, the owner of the flower shop wonders.

"No, I lost my hat," Arnold answers, growing depressed.

"Hey Arnold, are you sick? Man, you look terrible," Harvey, the mailman, wonders as he pushes up his glasses.

"See Gerald, it's no good." Arnold and Amy arrive at Sunset Arms. "It's just not the same without my hat." Gerald shakes his head, since he didn't know why that hat was so special to him.

"Princess, you know anything about this?" He calls out. Amy holds up her hands in defense, opening the door.

"That's for him to know and for you to find out. Bye Gerald," she opens the door, moving out of the way from the animals. She closes it, already noticing Arnold walking up the stairs. Arnold opens the door to his room, moping as he presses his face to the pillow. He grabs the remote, turning on the TV near him. Amy had one near her bunk as well.

"Oh, it's Hat Day at today's game. Just look at the crowd! Forty thousand hats, 20 thousands hats, hats as far as I can see. There's a hat on his head, and on their head, and then over there. Hats, hats, hats, hats, hats, hats, hats-" Arnold shuts off his TV, laying his head on the pillow.

 _"Here's your very own hat, Arnold. Aww, look at the little man." His father placed his current hat on his head._

 _"You and that hat, Arnold. You're perfect, just like Dad." They both laughed as Arnold stared at them. Amy started to cry, Arnold glancing at her. "Oh, of course we couldn't forget our little princess!" Their mother handed Amy a teddy bear and she immediately calmed down, hugging it._

"Arnold! Hey Arnold!" Arnold walks up to his window, opening it.

"Come on, kids!"

"The Jolly Olly Man's gone insane! He's passing out free ice cream!" Gerald calls out, Amy already down there licking a chocolate ice cream cone. "Come on down!" Usually, the Jolly Olly Man was...not jolly, so it was a rare sight to see him giving out free ice cream.

"No! I'm not coming out without my hat!" Arnold shouts. Helga just happens to be there and she turns around. "Never! For the rest of my life!" Arnold slams the window, Amy looking in concern.

"Okay, more ice cream for me," Gerald just dismisses his statement, thinking that Arnold's just being dramatic. Helga looks guilty, dropping her ice cream and hiding behind the truck.

"Oh! Oh, my beloved! What havoc have I rot? Tampering with the laws of nature? I must right this terrible and grieve less wrong and restore it to you, that which makes you the Arnold I worship and adore! I must retrieve your precious hat and restore it to your most hallowed brow!"

"I told you."

She turns to Amy, who's crossing her arms. "My brother just can't cope without his hat, Helga. I don't know how you got it, but you're making the right choice now." She winks at her. "Now go do your thing."

"Thank you, Amy. I will! You must speak to my beloved and change his mind!" Amy nods in understanding and he stomps over past Harold. "Outta my way, fat boy!" He glares at her, clenching his fists as she made him drop his ice cream.

* * *

Helga goes to her shrine...only to see the back of her closet entirely cleaned out. She screams loudly, the garbage man hearing it from right outside her house. She runs down to the kitchen, where her mother is making a smoothie...supposedly. "Mom, Mom!"

"Pass the tabasco, dear." Helga just stares her in shock, probably over the fact that her shrine is gone.

"Uh, did you happen to see a collection of seemingly useless junk? Randomly arranged, behind a curtain in my closet? For no apparent reason?" Helga smiles nervously.

"Uhh huh, dear, I threw it all out." Helga's mouth drops as her ponytails sag. The one time her mother actually does something around the house, and it had to be cleaning her closet!

"What?!" Helga asks. She screams again as Miriam turns on the blender. Helga runs after the garbage truck, but it's already leaving. "Wait! Come back!" She chases after it, but the smoke distracts her. She coughs, slightly covered in soot. "Stupid sanitation engineers. I've got to get that hat back!" She chases after the truck, heading for the dump.

* * *

Arnold stands in the middle of the room, still moping. Someone knocks and Phil comes in, followed by Amy. "How ya doing, Shortman?"

"Oh, okay, I guess." Amy glances at Grandpa and he walks up to Arnold, placing an arm around his shoulder.

"Oh, Arnold. I know you feel all wrong without your hat. I felt the same way when my hair fell out," He scratches his head. "I tried every trick in the book to hide my bare top, but then I realized it didn't matter. My head looked different, but I was still the same person I've always been. You are who you are because of what's on the inside, not on the outside." Arnold gives a little smile at his advice and Amy cheers silently.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He pauses. "I just can't get used to it."

"Well, you think about what I said. Now, I'd talk to you some more, but I don't wanna miss my stories!" He waves slightly at his grandchildren, walking away. Arnold turns to the mirror as Amy sits on her bed, watching him. She did what she could telling Grandpa, but Arnold still looked so sad. But it's not like she could tell Arnold who has his hat, both Arnold and Helga would get upset at her...she didn't want that, but she didn't want to keep it a secret from her twin brother...oh well...she knew she had to make some sacrifices when it came to keeping Helga's secret, but she didn't expect that she'd have to be lying and keeping secrets...

Not if she didn't value her own life, that is.

 _You are who you are because of what's on the inside, not the outside. The inside, not the outside. Are you listening, Arnold?!_ Arnold's eyes widen, looking up. _The inside, not the outside._ He looks in shock, turning to Amy as she looks equally surprised. They shake their heads before Arnold composes himself.

"I'm gonna do it."

* * *

Meanwhile, at the dump, Helga climbs out of the trash. "Yuck!" She starts walking down. "I can't believe this! Three hours of digging through garbage. I just gotta find that hat!" She looks around, looking up at approaching pigeons. "Uh-oh..." She covers herself, but the pigeons do nothing. She opens her eyes, looking up at the sky to see nothing.

"Phew!" And then it happens. She wipes the poop off her hair, growling in frustration. A pigeon walks up with Arnold's hat on top of it and she gasps. "Eureka! I found it!" She takes the hat off the pigeon and it flies off. "Now, to return it to its rightful place. Atop the darling head of my beloved..." She walks off.

* * *

At the boarding house, Amy and Gerald open the door, walking down slightly before turning around. "Ready when you are, buddy."

"You can do this, big brother!" Amy cheers as Gerald gives him an encouraging smile.

Arnold takes a deep breath, walking out into the streets.

"Hey Arnold," Mr. Green greets him. "You lookin' good. Heh, have you been working out?" Gerald gives him a thumbs up and when Amy passes him, she gives him a high five. She suddenly feels something in her hand, seeing a free sample of pork. She grins happily, catching up with Gerald.

"Hey Arnold," Mrs. Vitello holds a small bouquet in her hands. "Did you get a new haircut? It looks nice." Gerald gives her a thumbs up and Amy passes by her, waving. She waves back as Arnold passes Harvey.

"Ooo, Arnold, man." Harvey bends down to him. "Anybody ever tell you you look like some kind of bronzed Greek god these days?" Gerald had to facepalm at that one. Amy fist bumps him.

"See? I told you no big deal," Gerald says.

A bus stops in front of Helga's home. "Hey, the next time you get on my bus, make sure you take a shower, little lady!" Helga gets off the bus.

"Yeah, yeah, stick it in your ear, pal!" Helga retorts as Arnold turns the corner right in front of her. They bump into each other. "Arnold!"

"Hey Helga." She shakes her head, snapping out of it.

"I mean, watch where you're going, Football Head!" She snaps. He gasps sharply as he sees the hat in her hands.

"Helga! You found my hat!" She gives a happy look at his expression.

"Oh, is that your hat?" She pretends to not know that it's his. Amy smiles at her, realizing what she's doing.

"I can't believe it!" He places it on his head. "Thanks, Helga! Thanks a lot!" He hugs her and she sighs happily. Amy grins at the sight. She slaps herself, pushing Arnold off.

"Yuck!" She replies. "Who said you could touch me?" She dusts herself off.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it," he shrugs.

"You tryin' to make me sick or somethin'? Take your stupid hat and get out of here!" She points forward as he places his hands behind his back.

"Okay. Thanks again, Helga," he waves at her, taking Amy's hand as they leave. Amy winks at Helga and she swoons, touching her heart.

"I'll never wash these clothes again."

 **Stoop Kid**

The students are gathered around as Gerald prepares the ball. "Okay Arnold, your turn to kick off."

"Car!" They run to the sides as a car passes by. They were on the streets, since they didn't have a field to play.

"Okay, go for just inside the brown moving van," Gerald whispers.

"Right," Gerald throws the ball to Park.

"Move up, you guys. Arnold can't kick!" Harold teases, the boys moving up. Amy gives them a look as she sits on the stoop nearby. She wasn't really a sports girl. "Yeah, Arnold, try not to hurt your little dainty toesie-woesies!" He laughs.

"Toesie-woesie this!" Park throws the ball to Gerald, who places it down. Arnold runs up and kicks the ball over their heads.

"What a kick!" Harold just stares.

"That's unbelievable!" Sid comments. Arnold smiles at his kick and they run around the corner to see where it went. They look shocked when they see where it landed.

"Whoops," Arnold comments, the football sitting on a stoop.

"Of all the stoops in the world, it had to land on his. Good going, Arnold," Iggy scolds.

"Nice going, jerk!" Harold says.

"M-Maybe if we just ask, real nice," Arnold states, not wanting to be blamed for this.

"You know Stoop Kid never lets anyone near his stoop!" Harold explains.

"Hey I heard he punched a kid just for touching his stoop," Iggy recalls.

"Well, I heard he killed a kid just for looking at his stoop," Rhonda, the self-proclaimed rich fashion queen, remembers.

"The story of Stoop Kid is legend. Passed down a few great to great, for over 6 years. And Gerald is the keeper of tales. Go ahead, Gerald," Sid offers, since Gerald is known for his storytelling. "Tell it."

Gerald clears his throat, Amy getting closer to listen. "The legend of Stoop Kid. In the beginning, like so many of us, Stoop Kid was just a baby. A baby left mysteriously in the stoop of _that_ very building. Some say he was abandoned there. Others say that he was dropped there from the sky by aliens. And still others say that he grew from a seed lodged between the cracks in the sidewalk. Whatever the reason, lo' and behold, tiny Stoop Kid was left to raise himself on the stoop which he was fated to call his home. And as he grew, he came to know and love his stoop as his only family. But, there was also a dark side. Embittered by the love and normal boyhood that was stolen from him, Stoop Kid became meaner and meaner by the day. He began to lash out at the world around him, taking out upon them, the anger of a young, loveless child. He became so protective of his stoop, that whom so much ever looked at it, would face the wrath of the Stoop Kid. His accusatory barbs and yea, even physical violence. The End." Everyone claps for his story.

"Good job, Gerald," Harold places a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks!" Gerald waves at him as everyone leaves.

"So what's the point?" Arnold wonders.

"The point is, Arnold, you ain't getting your football back. So forget about it, man." Amy facepalms. Arnold turns to the stoop, feeling a little uneasy. He takes a deep breath, walking up to the stoop. Despite the chilling legend, he wanted his football back. Amy stares after him as he waves at Stoop Kid.

"Hi. Uh, how it's going? Guess my, uh, football landed on your stoop, huh?"

"Go ahead, pick it up," Stoop Kid tells him. Arnold looks down at it.

"Nah, it's okay. I'll just leave it for now. No big deal, see ya!" Arnold shrugs, running back to his sister and best friend. He thought Stoop Kid was gonna attack him right then and there. "This is gonna be harder than I thought."

* * *

It's getting close to nighttime, Arnold having made a camp. He watches through his makeshift tent (it was really a trash can) using binoculars. He pours himself some coffee, Amy asleep. It was his turn to be on watch.

"What are you looking at, Grandma?" Stoop Kid says to a woman walking his dog. "Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you! Just keep away from my stoop!"

Someone suddenly throws trash on Arnold and Amy. "Hey! Park!"

"Oh, sorry, guys. I forgot you were in there. Are you sure you two don't wanna come inside?" Park actually lived across from Stoop Kid, so he let them stay in the trash can.

"No thanks, Park. We're watching him till he leaves his stoop," Amy rubs her eyes.

"Okay, but you know that Stoop Kid never leaves his stoop," he walks back into his apartment, Amy placing the lid back on. Stoop Kid laughs as he watches TV, eating ice cream. Amy sighs in boredom as Arnold yawns. They watch Stoop Kid washing his hair with a hose, Arnold close to falling asleep.

"And...the little...en...gine...said...I think I can, I...think I can," he reads The Little Engine that Could. "Wow! What a great book."

"Arnold?" Amy turns to him and he falls asleep. Noises could be heard as he wakes up, seeing a larger version of his football. Arnold walks up to it and it glows. Suddenly, the ground starts to shake as Arnold tries to grab it. The trash can lid is lifted to reveal Gerald.

"Arnold. Hey Arnold!"

"Huh?" He stands up, looking exhausted. "Where is he? Did he leave?" He sees that he has not.

"Yo! Get away from my stoop!" Stoop Kid shouts to a business man. "That's right, you! This is my stoop!"

"He's still there. I can't believe it!" Gerald helps him up. "I only slept for about an hour!"

"Told you, Arnold," Gerald picks up Amy by her waist, setting her down. "Stoop Kid never leaves his stoop."

Arnold sighs slowly in defeat. "Face it, guys. You're never gonna get your football back," Gerald starts to leave.

"Aw, I just don't...hey, wait a second! I got it! W-What if I just sneak up when he's not looking, grab the football and run?" Arnold suggests.

"Are you crazy? He'll just chase you and pulverize you!" Gerald tells him.

"I don't want my brother to be pulverized!" Amy gives a horrified look.

"How can he, if he never leaves his stoop?" Arnold implores, Gerald and Amy glancing at each other.

"Arnold, you're bold. Bold and crazy," Gerald stares at the stoop.

"Just back me up, okay?" Arnold asks, bending down to Amy slightly. "Amy, you stay here with Gerald," he ruffles her hair a little, Amy giving an annoyed look.

"Okay, we'll be right behind you," Gerald places his hand on his shoulder for good luck.

"I hope this works..." Amy murmurs.

"Hey! Walk around! Keep your eyes off my stoop, old man!" He laughs as Arnold sneaks up to the stoop while he's looking at the old man. "That's right! And watch where you're sticking that cane!" Arnold looks at his football, Stoop Kid seeing him. "HEY!" He snatches his football back, running away. "Get back here, you little weasel!" He jumps to the first step. "Nobody touches my stoop! Come back here!" Arnold pants as he runs back to the safe spot.

"Yes! You did it!" The two congratulate him, jumping up and down.

"Come back here and face me like a man! Nobody touches my stoop!" The three look at each other before laughing. Since he won't get off the stoop, he didn't seem like much of a threat now.

"Hey Arnold, you're right. He didn't leave his stoop!" Gerald points out.

"You know what, Gerald? I think he's afraid to leave his stoop!" Park comes out of his apartment.

"What's going on?"

"Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop!" The other students just so happen to arrive as he says that.

"Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop?" Iggy asks. They start laughing at him.

"Hey Stoop Kid," Harold sings. "Why don't you leave your stoop? What are you, scared?" They continue laughing and Amy looks at Stoop Kid.

"Come here and say it, tubby!" Stoop Kid threatens.

"Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop!" They run up to Stoop Kid.

"We're touching your stoop," Sid touches the stairs.

"Cut it out!" Sid laughs as he moves away. Stoop Kid sees Nadine sitting on the steps. "Hey!" He tries to grab her, but she moves away. Curly runs up the steps. "Hey, I'm gonna pound you, you little maggot!" He grabs Curly by the shirt, but falls onto the stoop.

"Stoop Kid's scared to leave his stoop! I'm spreading the word!" Harold declares.

"Hey! Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop! Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop! Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop! Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop!" Everyone around the neighborhood hears this news, and it already reaches the local news, someone throwing a newspaper on the ground. "Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop!"

* * *

As Arnold and Amy start to walk home with groceries, they hear a loud wail. "What is that?"

"I don't know, but it's close by," they look around. "Stoop Kid, is that you?" They walk up to the stoop, seeing no one.

"Stoop Kid?" Arnold asks.

"Who's that? Get outta here, kid!" He calls out.

"Huh?"

"Nothing!" He throws a can, but they move away from it. "Just shut up and leave me alone!"

"Hey, come on, it can't be that bad." They place down the groceries.

"But it is!" He insists. "Everybody's made fun of me!"

"Maybe if you tried to leave the stoop, people wouldn't make fun of you," Amy suggests.

"No! I can't!" He exclaims.

"What if we tried to help you?" Arnold wonders as they stand over to the side.

"It'd just be a waste of time!"

"What do you have to lose?" They pull the blanket curtain to see Stoop Kid with his head on his knees. He looks at them before sitting on the stoop. They give a look of encouragement.

* * *

The next morning, the two walk off the stoop in demonstration. Stoop Kid shakes his head. They guide him while he's blindfolded, but that doesn't work either as he takes it off. His foot was so close, but he runs up the stairs, shaking in fear. They try an ice cream sundae to get him off the stoop, but he still refuses to step off.

"Look," Arnold says later, "There's a whole world out there for you to see! But you're never gonna see it if you don't leave the stoop."

"Arnold's right. There's a bunch of things to explore!" Amy encourages.

"Yeah, but what's so great about the world, anyway?"

"We're glad you asked. We checked these out at the library, just for you," Amy and Arnold each hold a book. "You may have your little stoop here, but beyond this stoop, there's a whole bunch of other stoops!"

"Look at this," Amy opens the book.

"Wow! Look at that stoop!"

"That's the Spanish steps in Rome. It's one of the biggest stoop in the world!" Amy points to it.

"I gotta admit, that's pretty cool!" He comments.

"Yeah, and look at this," Arnold turns the page.

"Whoa..."

"It's the pyramid of the sun. Ancient Aztec ruins," Arnold explains.

"That's the greatest stoop I have ever seen..."

"Well, it's just one of the great stoops ever. And if you wanna see 'em, all you have to do is take that one big step off your stoop," Arnold encourages. Stoop Kid looks down at his stoop, which seemed so far away from him.

"Arnold, Amy, I'm gonna do it," he declares, standing up. "I'm gonna leave the stoop!" Harvey is nearby and he runs up to Mr. Green.

"Mr. Green, I just heard the Stoop Kid's leaving his stoop."

"Whoa..." He turns the sign for a break. "The legend dies, Harvey."

* * *

Most of the neighborhood has gathered around to see the legendary Stoop Kid get off his stoop. "I didn't know there was gonna be so many people here."

"Don't worry about it," Amy tells him as she and Amy are near the stoop.

"Stoop Kid, just keep concentrating."

"I don't know if I can do it, guys!"

"You can do it. You know you can," Arnold tells him.

"Stoop Kid's gonna leave his stoop! Stoop Kid's gonna leave his stoop! Stoop Kid's gonna leave his stoop! Stoop Kid's gonna leave the stoop!" Arnold holds up a poster that says 'I think I can!' He thinks that mantra to himself as he closes his eyes and steps off the stoop. He opens his eyes as everyone cheers for him, smiling.

"You did it! You did it!" Arnold and Amy cheer.

"Hey! Hey, yeah! I did do it! I left the stoop! I'm free!" He hugs Arnold and Amy, surrounded by the crowd.

The paper boy throws down the newspaper, which has Stoop Kid leaving his stoop on the front page. Stoop Kid takes it. "Thanks, you guys. Thanks a lot."

"Well, I guess there's no holding back anymore," Arnold shrugs. "You'll probably wanna go out and see the whole world now!"

"What, are you kidding? I can't leave my stoop!" He answers.

"What do you mean? Why not? I thought you liked all the stoops we showed you," Amy says.

"Oh, sure, I could leave the stoop. But for now, I'm just gonna keep hanging out here," he sits in his lawn chair. "Cuz, I'm Stoop Kid! That's who I am. You know, guys, you taught me a great thing. Now I can harass people from my stoop and from off my stoop!" He laughs at the thought.

"Gee, that wasn't really our point," Arnold rubs his neck. Harold walks by eating a popsicle and holding a suitcase.

"Hey Stoop Kid, you baby! Where's your diapers? What a baby, Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop!" Stoop Kid gives a smug look at Arnold and Amy. Harold throws his finished popsicle onto the stairs, laughing.

"Come here, fat boy!" Harold turns around as Stoop Kid jumps off his stoop. He gives a shocked look. "I'll roll you downtown!" He chases after the boy who screams and runs away. Arnold and Amy stand up, walking away without bothering to help. It was his fault, after all...

"Doesn't he read the news?" Amy murmurs.


	4. Helga's Makeover and The Old Building

**Angel: Happy Holidays, everyone! I won't be updating next week, but I shall be back! They call it Christmas break for a reason, after all XD Anyway, have a great Christmas or whatever ya'll celebrate!**

The school bell rings as Rhonda hands out papers to the girls. "One for you, one for you, one for you, one for you," she stops when she sees it's Helga next to her. "Oh, uh, hello Helga."

"Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer. Doi!" Helga retorts.

Rhonda chuckles nervously as she walks away, "Yeah."

"I wonder why Helga's not invited to Rhonda's party?" Arnold wonders, Gerald turning around to him.

"Well, it is a girl party," Gerald elaborates.

"Helga's a girl," Arnold points out.

"She was born one," Amy murmurs as she holds an invitation.

"She is?" Gerald turns to Helga, who launces a spitball at the chalkboard. "Oh yeah, I always forget."

"Stop it," Amy warns.

* * *

"So, Phoebe," Helga and Phoebe are walking alongside each other. "What do you wanna do Saturday night? Goof on the geeks at the video arcade?" They walk into the grocery store.

"Well, I was thinking of going to Rhonda's party. They're gonna do makeovers and stuff," Phoebe explains as Helga starts putting candy in her dress. Nearby was Amy, who's surprisingly by herself as she's doing groceries for the boarding house.

"Rhonda's party?" Helga laughs at the thought, Amy turning as she hears them."You're not seriously going to that, are you?"

Amy frowns a little. She knows that Helga could be tomboyish, but that didn't mean she couldn't be girly once in a while...she decides not to approach them, since she was in public and she didn't want Phoebe questioning why Helga was nice to her.

"Well, no," Phoebe answers nervously, playing with the spirals of her notebook. "Well, I know you didn't get an invitation-"

"I didn't _want_ an invitation!" Helga interrupts. "Why would I want to go to a stupid girly party?" Helga places the candy on the conveyor belt, giving the money to Mrs. Johanssen, Gerald's mother who works at check-out. Amy walks in line behind them, smiling at Mrs. Johanssen as she pays.

"I figured, but I was just thinking...you know, it might be interesting," Phoebe states.

"Interesting?" Helga chuckles. "Yeah, right." She throws some candy in her mouth.

"But Helga..."

"Go! Go to Rhonda's party, have your little makeovers. It's no snot out of my nose!" Helga tells her and Phoebe starts to leave. "I've got a million better things to do on a Saturday night than be stuck in a room with a bunch of sissy girls!" She bites into a chocolate bar, crossing her arms.

"Fine," Phoebe leaves, Amy glancing at the scene as she holds the full bag.

* * *

Later, the boys are playing baseball. Harold steps up to home base, clutching his bat. The ball is thrown to Arnold and he catches it. Harold spits the ground and Arnold throws it. He strikes it, Eugene backing away as it comes closer to him.

"I got it, I got it!" Helga pushes him out of the way and catches it. Eugene sighs as he sits on the curb. "I don't got it."

"Okay, 100 point for me. Send it back again!" Helga throws the ball, but Harold throws the bat away.

"Wait a minute...you can't play. This game is boys only!" He steps up to her, hands on his hips.

"Says who?" Helga pokes his belly. "Pinkboy?"

"Says, uh...Sid!" He places Sid in front of him. "Tell her, Sid!" Helga gives him a scowl, Sid looking away.

"Please, don't hurt me."

Arnold steps up to the scene to stop the arguing. "Look, Helga. We're having a boys only game since all the girls are having a girls only slumber party," he explains.

"Hey, wait a minute. How come you're not at the slumber party?" Harold questions. "Oh, yeah," he facepalms, "I forgot. You weren't invited cuz you're not girl enough!" The other boys laugh, except Arnold.

"Shut up! That's not true. I was invited, I just didn't wanna go," Helga lies, because it wasn't really any of their business.

"Helga's not a girl," Harold teases. "Helga's not a girl."

"Helga's not a girl," the other boys join but yet again Arnold does not. "Helga's not a girl. Helga's not a girl. Helga's not a girl."

"That's it," she grits her teeth, taking off her mitt. "You're...dead!" Harold screams, running away as Helga chases him. "Come back here, you dorks!"

"Gerald, I almost feel sorry for her," Arnold voices.

"The key word there is almost," Gerald says as Amy stands up from her spot between them. "How come you're not there, either?"

"Arnold wanted me to watch the game before I left." Amy reaches behind her, putting her puppy duffel bag over her shoulder. She walks down the steps as Helga is beating up Harold, waving to the two. "Bye!" She runs off.

"Be careful!" Arnold calls out.

* * *

"Not girl enough," Helga stomped on the streets, pushing past other people. She scoffs, "What a bunch of crap! I am too a girl! I'm pretty. I'm feminine. I'm delicate," she bumps into someone.

"Oh, excuse me, young man."

"I'm a girl!" Helga shouts in frustration.

Giggling and laughing can be heard as Amy steps up to Rhonda's house. Helga sneaks over and peeks through the window. She sees all the girls from her grade laughing.

"And then Helga's 'I oughta deck you, fat boy!' " Rhonda makes a fist, the girls, except Phoebe, laughing. Amy rings the doorbell and Rhonda answers it.

"Amy! Come in, come in!" Rhonda gestures her inside.

"I don't sound like that!" Helga protests. "And I'd deck 'em all!" She makes a fist before realizing she's acting exactly what Rhonda described.

"Outta my way, geek face!" Rhonda kicks the air, all the girls laughing, even Phoebe and Amy.

"Et tu, Phoebe?" Helga questions, hurt as Rhonda makes monkey noises. Helga looks absolutely shocked. "I'll show them feminine," she jumps down onto the sidewalk. "I'll show them all! They'll be sorry they ever messed with Helga G. Pataki!" She spits before leaving.

* * *

She walks into the Corner Store, where she was earlier. She stomps inside, going over to the magazine section. She takes some boyish ones before getting the ones she really needs. She hesitates at Preteen Miss, but grabs it anyway.

"Hello Helga, how are you?" Mrs. Johanssen asks politely.

"Oh, fine, fine, Mrs. Johanssen. Just picking up my usual magazines, nothing out of the ordinary here," Helga answers nervously. Preteen Miss gets a beep, however, and Helga looks nervous as Mrs. Johanssen looks at the magazine.

"Yo, Yolanda! How much for this copy of Preteen Miss?" She calls out.

"Preteen Miss?" All the customers stare at her.

"Yeah, Preteen Miss," Mrs. Johanssen confirms. "You know, the one with the feature on it to make ugly girls look pretty." She doesn't realize how embarrassing this was for Helga, the other customers staring at her. Helga looks like she's about to die of embarrassment.

"Heh, how did that get in there? Oh well, I might as well take it. I can probably use it to, uh, to line my bird cage with! I'll just, heh," she pays Mrs. Johanssen, running out of there as fast as she can.

* * *

She makes it home and upstairs, peeking around to make sure no one is watching her. Helga steps inside the bathroom, using the magazine as a guide. She looks at herself in the mirror. "Am I a fire engine red or a pearly pink?" She wonders, picking up her mother's lipstick. She looks at herself in hesitation before narrowing her eyes, the door banging from outside.

"What's going on in there? Are you alright?" Miriam asks.

"I'm _fine_ , Mother! Can't I have a few moments of peace in the bathroom! Criminy!" She wipes the lipstick off.

Later, she looks at a woman with nail polish. Helga puts on fake nails, eyelash, and she even plucks her eyebrows. "Ow! Ow!" She takes the bow off her hair, throwing it in the trash.

"Your father needs to use the bathroom, now!" Miriam presses as Helga finishes up.

"Okay, okay!" She opens the door. "There! Satisfied!" Miriam gasps before fainting.

"Oh my..."

"Maybe I should've gone a bit lighter on the eyeshadow!" Helga walks past her.

* * *

The boys are eating at Omar's Falafel Hut. "Hey you guys," Sid rides up to them on his bike. "I just saw Helga. She's on her way to Rhonda's party and she's all dolled up...like a girl!"

"Helga?! Like a girl?" Harold throws away his falafels. "This I gotta see! I say all of us go over there right now and crash the party!"

"Yeah!" All the boys cheer, running off.

* * *

The girls are doing each other's hair and nails when the doorbell rings. Rhonda goes to answer, surprised to see Helga in a purple dress, red high heels, makeup, and her hair done. "Helga?!"

"Rhonda, darling, great to see ya!" Helga gives Rhonda her purse, kissing her on both cheeks. "Sorry I'm late! So," she appears in the room, everyone gasping. "What are you doing, ladies Polishing our nails?" Phoebe squints, putting on her glasses.

"Helga...you look...great!" Nadine comments.

"Oh, this old thing?" Helga sits in a chair. "Just something I had lying around the house. It's all the rage this season." She crosses her legs, giggling. "I brought some of my makeup in case you wanted any tips." Phoebe and Amy just stare after her, perplexed. Helga dumps her makeup onto the bed and Nadine takes one. "Nadine dear, that pink nail polish on your fingers look awfully stubby, don't you think? I'd say you're really more of a coral."

"Helga," Phoebe says, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Not now dear. Oh yes, Nadine, you're definitely a coral," Helga takes some nail polish out from her dress. Amy gives a weirded out look.

The boys throw a duffel bag onto the ground, taking all that they needed. They put on face paint and sweaters. Walking down the street, they were determined to crash that party.

"Okay, is everyone ready for facials? Helga?" Rhonda offers.

"Oh, Rhonda, you are so..." Helga takes a slip of paper out from her dress. "Chante!" Phoebe picks up a cotton ball that dropped from Helga's chest. "I can feel my pores opening already."

"Helga," Phoebe places a hand on her arm. "Can I have a word with you?"

"Weeell," she glances at the other girls, who stare at them impatiently. She then glances at Phoebe, who has a serious look on her face. "I'll be right back, ladies. I have to share a private moment with one of my _plainer_ acquaintances." Phoebe leads her away.

"Helga, what are you doing?"

"Getting a facial," Helga answers simply.

"You never used to like this girly stuff," Phoebe points out, knowing the real Helga wouldn't dare.

"That's old Helga. The _new_ Helga will be just as beautiful as the next girl," she looks at herself in the mirror.

"Yeah well, I liked the old Helga better. At least she was honest. She'd never pretend to like all this just to fit in with the crowd," Phoebe takes the curlers off her hair.

"If you ask me, you're just jealous cuz I'm more feminine and womanly," Helga sips her drink before burping. "And now, if you'll excuse me, this gorgeous chick's got a date with a bowl of guacamole," she giggles, walking out of the bathroom, leaving a disappointed Phoebe. When Helga walks back into the kitchen, she gasps sharply when she sees most of the girls in facial masks, their hair braided up.

"Okay, Helga, you're next," Rhonda pulls up a spoonful of guacamole.

"Gee, heh heh, I am," Sheena takes Helga's hand, leading her to the chair. "Well, okay! Do the works." Helga looks up, smiling nervously. Phoebe and Amy cringe, the substance about to go on her face. "Stop!" She knocks it out of Rhonda's hand, realizing that she doesn't want to do this.

"What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong. This is stupid, that's what's wrong!" Phoebe gives a proud look, Amy cheering silently.

"But Helga, this mask will help reduce wrinkles and signs of aging," Rhonda explains.

"We don't have wrinkles!" Helga wipes the lipstick off. "We don't have signs of aging! We're 9 years old!" She pulls her hair back into pigtails, Phoebe smiling.

The boys sneak up to the window. "Oh, this is gonna be great." Harold climbs onto the trash can. "When they see all of us in the window, they're gonna scream bloody murder!" He laughs.

"You know Helga, I think we were wrong about you," Rhonda comments. "Maybe you're not like the rest of us."

"You're right, Rhonda! I'm not like the rest of you. I'm not wearing a mask!" She points out, the others gasping except Amy. "I mean, look at us! Tinfoil in our hair, glop on our face, high-heeled shoes? Why are we wearing these? We're already taller than the boys!"

"But Helga, this is what girls do. I mean, what could be more fun than this?" Rhonda argues.

"Yeah, what Helga?"

They all ask the same thing before hearing a crash from outside. "Did you hear something?" Sheena opens the curtain to reveal the boys. They all scream, the boys included from seeing the masks. They crash to the ground before running off.

"The horror, the horror!"

"Come back here, you chicken maggots!" The girls chase after them, Harold tripping and falling.

"Should we go back and help?" Arnold asks.

"Are you kidding?! It's every man for himself!" Gerald answers, Amy managing to grab Arnold. "Arnold!"

"Nooo!" Arnold shouts as he's dragged away into an alley by Amy.

"Well, well, well," Helga comments, the other girls surrounding him. "Lookie what we got here."

"Heeeeeelp!" Harold yells as they grab him.

"What do you think?" Rhonda giggles. "Copper or coral pink?" They've put makeup on his face, along with a dress. Harold spits out some blush.

"Help! Let me go, let me gooo!"

"Now this is what I call a good party," Helga turns to Phoebe.

"You said it, Helga!"

Amy leaves Arnold as he is hanging from a pole, covered in makeup. "This is so embarrassing."

"Serves you right for crashing the party!" She huffs, walking back inside.

"Amy? Amy, you're not just gonna leave me here, are you? Amy!" He falls into a trash can.

 **The Old Building**

A wrecking ball swings back and forth, Arnold on top of it. He's smiling until he hears someone call out for him. "Hey Arnold! Careful with that lever there. It swings the wrecking ball," Ernie, one of the shortest boarders from the boarding house, warns. Amy is sitting next to Arnold. Both of them are wearing red construction hats on their heads. "Now move it slowly toward you."

Arnold places Amy's hand on the lever, putting his on top as they move the lever. "That's it, a little more. Wait, wait, wait! Almost forgot," he runs to the radio, putting on Dino Spumoni. "Ah, Dino Spumoni! He was before your time, one of the greats! This song first inspired me to do demolitions. I always play it when I'm knocking things. It scares the bricks. Go ahead, pull the lever!" They swing the wrecking ball, crashing it into a pile of stone.

"Cool!" The twins comment.

"You're naturals!" Ernie runs up to them. "I oughta take you two on the premise!"

"You'd do that for us?" Arnold wonders as they jump down.

"Sure! You got knack!" He leads them to the other workers. "Now, first thing we gotta do is get you two a nickname."

"Cool. How about the Terminator?" Arnold asks, Amy snorting at him.

"Nah, too dramatic. Wait wait, I got it! The perfect nickname for you...Bill!"

"Bill? That's a nickname?" Amy laughs, Arnold looking in embarrassment.

"Yeah, it's a great nickname. And for you, Amy, yours is, uh...princess! Come on, meet the rest of the crew," he leads them forward. He claps one of them on the back.

"Hey Ernie, what's shakin', huh?"

"You mean besides your gut?" He hits him slightly in the stomach, making him laugh. "These are the kids that I've been telling ya about, Bill and princess."

"Nice to meet the both of ya," he shakes their hands a little too hard. "You here to help Ernie celebrate joining the 500th club?"

"Uhh," they both look confused.

"Yeah, uh, Arnold and Amy," Ernie picks his ear nervously. "I've been meaning to ask. We've got a kind of tradition here. At your 500th demolition, your son gets to sit at the wrecking ball with ya. Only...I never met a woman, see, so...it's a little short notice for me to come up with a son by Wednesday and well...what I mean to say, guys, is-"

"We'd love to!" They answer happily and he hugs them to their discomfort.

* * *

Grandma Gertie is placing posters in a box when the twins come in. "Hi, Grandma," they greet.

"Sorry, no time for small talk, kiddos. We've gotta save the Circle Theater!" She hands them a few papers.

"We do?"

"They wanna tear it down and put in an 18 screen multiplex! One of those surround sound, airconditioned, and plushy big screen deals!" She explains in frustration.

"Oh boy! That sounds-" she turns around to them sharply. "Horrible." Arnold finishes, not wanting to make her upset.

"That's right!" She leads them to her protest merchandise. "The Circle Theater's the place where Dino Spumoni got his big break!" They sit on the bed. "Grandpa and I had our first date there." She remembers it fondly, a young Dino singing as she sits across Grandpa Phil.

 _"That Spumoni. He's the dreamiest." Phil turned to her, standing up as he offered a hand._

 _"Would you like to dance?"_

 _"I'd love to!" She took his hand, twirling around into his arms. They danced together as Dino continued his song._

"So, will you help me, Arnold and Amelia?" She asks, not wanting her beloved theater torn down.

"You bet, Grandma!" Arnold steps down. "We'd be glad to help you!"

"Yeah! You love that theater, Grandma," Amy agrees. Grandma grabs her and hugs her, the girl giggling. Arnold grins at the sight.

* * *

As Amy and Arnold walk by holding protest signs, Ernie opens the door. "Yo, Bill and princess! Come here!" He waves inside and they enter, leaving their signs outside. "You still doing that exercise I taught ya?"

"Yup! Reach, pull!" They all do it together, Ernie laughing. "Good, guys! Do that every day and when the big mama comes, you'll be ready!"

"Thanks Ernie," Arnold says.

"This is the set-up, you see," he brings out a model.

"Cool," Amy comments in awe.

"I got the little lever here." They pull out their posters that Grandma gave them, the exact same building that's on the model.

"Circle Theater. Oh no!" Arnold whispers.

"Out of all the buildings to demolish as his 500th, it's this one?!" Amy whispers in disbelief. They look between the poster and the model in disbelief.

"Now, watch what happens when I do this," he makes the whole thing crumble to pieces. "Boom! Perfect, you see that?!" He laughs as the twins give a look of dismay. "Did you see what I did there?"

Arnold gulps, tugging his collar. "Yeah, uh...we saw," Amy speaks for him.

"Come Wednesday, when you two and I pull that lever together, it's gonna be the proudest day of my life. The day I finally join the 500th club! Woo hoo hoo!" He cheers. "And you'll be there right by my side, kids, like the children I never had. Right, twins? You won't let me down, will ya?" they glance at the destroyed model. "I've been down a lot of my life. I don't know if I can take one more disappointment...children."

"Yeah, you can count on us, Ernie," Arnold says in dismay, Ernie grinning widely.

Grandma approaches them once they've left. "Oh, Arnold, Amelia, I just wanted to thank you for helping me with the big campaign. It's you two and me, twins, standing together side by side, against them all! You won't let me down, will you?"

"Uhh, no Grandma," Amy murmurs. "You can count on us..."

* * *

They climb up to the roof, unsure of what to do, so they decided to ask Grandpa. "Hey, Grandpa?" He's trying to fix the satellite. "We were wondering if we could talk to you."

"Please, we really need your advice here," Amy begs. "We've...got a problem."

"Oh ho, well shoot, Shortman and pumpkin." The TV satellite falls right in front of them. He kicks it away in frustration before hopping up and down as he holds his foot.

"Grandma seems to be counting on us to help her save the Circle Theater," Arnold starts. "And we really wanna help her."

"Course you do! It's a great cause! No problem!" Phil exclaims.

"Yeah, but this is the problem. Ernie's counting on us to help him knock down the Circle Theater! He says we're like children to him. Sides, we get to drive a wrecking ball," Amy sits on the edge with Arnold.

"Well, like I always say, how many chances are ya gonna get to drive a wrecking ball? No problem!" Phil agrees.

"No!" Arnold shakes his head. "You see, we told Grandma we'd help her save the same building we told Ernie we'd help destroy!"

"Now ya got a problem," Phil rubs his chin.

"We know that," Amy laments. "What are we gonna do, Grandpa?"

"Well, there's only one thing you can do. Uh, well, what ya could do is..." He didn't seem to know a solution either. "Shoot fire, time to take my medication already! I'll have to get back to ya, twins. Don't call me, I'll call you," he leaves, Amy sighing.

"Now what? I wanna help Grandma, but what about Ernie? Both of them are counting on us and I don't wanna let both of them down, Arnold..."

"I know!" Amy turns to Arnold in confusion. "We'll just tell them both we want out, that's all. They're adults, they'll understand."

"We're doomed," Amy murmurs, knowing that Grandma and Ernie were both pretty passionate people when it came to opinions.

* * *

"Arnold, Amy, ask your grandma there to pass the potatoes. That is unless she wants to preserve them for another five hundred years!" Ernie retorts, both of them now knowing what each other's intentions are when it came to the Circle Theater.

"Here you go, twins," she pushes the bowl to them. "Tell your friend I'm sorry they aren't mashed, but he probably wants to do that himself!" She gestures to Ernie mashing the potatoes angrily with his spoon. She takes his plate away. "Finished?" He grabs a potato, smashing it on the floor. She comes back in, seeing the mess. "Stop it! You'll knock down the Statue of Liberty if it got a grey hair!"

"You'd save a pile of dog droppings on the street if George Washington once stepped in it!" He argues.

"Come here and say that, demolition man!" Arnold and Amy glance at the two, feeling uncomfortable.

"Yeah?" He grabs a chair, using it to make himself taller. "You want a piece of this?"

"Oh yeah, you homewrecker!"

"This is ridiculous!" Amy and Arnold grab their hair in frustration, the older twin grabbing his sister's hand and walking off with her.

"I think I speak for both of us when I say you're acting like children! And that's saying something!" Amy calls out as Arnold closes the door. They turn to the door before turning to each other.

"Oh, now look what you've done!"

"Me?"

"You've upset the twins!" They continue arguing, even when the two leave to clear their heads.

* * *

They arrive at the Circle Theater, looking sad. They look up at the leaking building.

 _Reach, pull. Reach, pull. Boom! It's progress._ They stare at the wrecking ball that's parked there for tomorrow. It has a name on the ball: The Terminator. The twins open the door to the theater, some debris falling from the ceiling.

 _Grandpa and I had our first date here. Dino Spumoni, our first date._ They look around with a smile.

 _This song first inspired me to go into demolition. Dino Spumoni._ Amy glances at a music page before Arnold takes it in realization. They both get a huge grin on their face, running off with the music sheet. Amy flips through the phone book before Arnold takes the receiver. He bangs against the box before it works.

* * *

The next morning, Grandma is standing in front of the theater, holding a sign. "Pookie, have you lost your mind? Why don't you listen to reason for once in your life and come home?" Phil demands.

"Nothing to worry. I'm going to save this building!"

"By yourself?" He wonders.

"No, I've got the twins with me."

"I don't see 'em," he points out.

"They'll be here, they'll be here," she insists, though she didn't know herself.

"This building's about to come down!" Ernie says, in the wrecking ball.

"I've parked my carcass right here and I'm not moving!" Grandma yells. "Where are you, Arnold and Amelia?"

"Come 9 o clock, you'll change your tune and I'll have my 500th demolition! Hurry up, Bill and princess." As he starts it up, Grandma stands in front of it, everyone else looking in shock. Grandma is in horror before a limo pulls up, Arnold and Amy stepping out of it.

"Wait! Wait, stop the show!"

"Arnold, Amelia, you came!" Both adults say in relief, a woman stepping out of the limo. She's Mayor Dixie. She stands on a podium.

"Ladies and gentlemen, as mayor of our fair city, I have an announcement to make."

"I thought we recalled her," Ernie's friend says to Mr. Green.

"First, to say a few words about the Circle Theater, let me introduce a man who needs no introduction. Mr. Dino Spumoni!" The crowd cheers, Ernie turning in surprise.

"Dino Spumoni!" They all clap for him, Grandma looking in surprise. He takes the podium, the mayor handing him the microphone.

"How's you all doing? I wanna thank two very special kids named Arnold and Amelia." The two smile at the crowd at his words. "Who brought this situation to my attention. You know, folks, the Circle Theater has a lot of history for me. I sang some of my best numbers here. Punched some of the finest photographers in the world. Pow! Right in the kisser. But that's not a story. The point is, these kids here got me thinking. I realized we gotta save an old building for prosperity."

"I hereby declare the old Circle Theater a city landmark!" The crowd cheer and clap as she places the plaque on the wall. Grandma dances around happily.

"Of course," Ernie jumps down from his wrecking ball. "The Circle Theater. You were the reason I decided to go into demolitions! That song of yours. Darling, you left my heart," he dances with Spumoni, who didn't feel like it. "Into pieces."

"Tony, get me outta here," Dino whispers, his worker calling the limo. Dino goes inside, Ernie chasing after him.

"Dino, wait! Come back! I want you to sign my head!"

"You did it, twins!" Arnold and Amy unshackle Grandma. "You saved the theater! I knew you wouldn't let me down!"

"Thanks, twins," Ernie walks up to them. "You stopped me from making a terrible mistake. Tearing down Dino's theater would've been a sacrilege! And the next building I tear down, my _real_ 500th, it'll be you and me, kids," he bumps them slightly.

"In the end, it was you and me," Grandma bends down to him.

"Hey crazy lady, they came through for _me_!" Ernie argues.

"In your dreams. They came through for me!"

"For me!"

"For me! What's wrong with you, are your ears blocked, I said me!" As they argue, the twins climb into the wrecking ball. They listen to Dino Spumoni, imitating him singing. They wanted absolutely nothing to do with another argument this time!


	5. 6th Grade Girls and The Baseball

**Angel: Happy New Year everyone! Yes, I know what day it is, but I've been busy writing the next chapters for my stories. Since I have more time, I'll update whenever I can during the week. It may take a while, so if you don't see an update after a week, then I'm either busy with school or writing. I'm already finished with the Titanic story, I just have to post the rest so now I can do another story. But I'm between Sonic X or Code Lyoko...I've put up a poll so you guys can decide. Sonic X might win since a lot of people asked me about that one...Anyway, go on my profile and vote!**

Most of the kids in the neighborhood are at the community pool, since it was such a good day out. Arnold, Amy, and Gerald are gathered around the diving board. Arnold turns around. "You think they're looking at us?"

"It's us, man. They're looking right at us!" The two boys are trying to impress two girls named Connie and Maria.

"They must be at least in the sixth grade!" Arnold turns back to Gerald. Amy is sitting on a beach chair, reading a girl magazine as she wears sunglasses. She's wearing a pink bikini with green sandals, her hair down.

"I'm telling you, Arnold, they are checking us out," Gerald brags. Amy looks up from her magazine.

"They're probably looking at something else, Gerald," Amy dismisses.

"How do you know?" Arnold asks him. "Maybe they just think we're goofs or something."

"Arnold, I know. And believe me, the last thing they think we are, is goofs," Gerald insists.

"You don't know girls like that," Amy shakes her head.

"Look at those goofs," Connie comments to her friend. Connie is wearing a pink one-piece bikini with turquoise sunglasses while Maria has a green and light green two piece bikini, along with a pink bow and round sunglasses.

"I know. They're kinda cute, though. In a goofy sorta way? At least they're not jerks like Tommy and Burt," Maria looks up at their two boyfriends, who are wrestling on the diving board.

"Get off me, you moron!"

"Don't call me a moron, you moron!" They eventually fall into the water, splashing the two sixth grade girls and Amy.

"Some boyfriends," Connie comments as they fix themselves.

"No duh," Maria agrees. Gerald jumps on the diving board and dives into the water. Arnold backflips as he dives. "I bet we could make 'em come over."

"The goofs? Ya think? You're bad, Maria, I swear." Connie agrees as Maria wiggles her finger at the two to come forward.

"See? I told you. They want us to come over there!" Gerald says to Arnold. Amy raises an eyebrow at the two, shaking her head.

"Are you sure?" Arnold wonders.

"Come on, Arnold. Older women! What do we gotta lose?" He starts swimming over and Arnold pauses for a minute before following him.

"Unbelievable," Amy murmurs.

"Now act casual," Maria lowers her sunglasses, laying back down in her chair. Connie follows her movements.

"Hey ladies," Gerald and Arnold appear at the edge. "How you doin'?"

"Hey, how you doin'?" Maria asks back.

"Well, you live around here?" Arnold questions, Amy facepalming.

"Yeah, we live around here. You live around here?" Maria gives a little smile.

"Yeah."

"Yeah! We live around here," Gerald answers, both of them standing up. Arnold dries his hair and it makes a funny sound as it dries. Connie and Maria laugh.

"So what grade are you in?" Connie asks.

"Uh...we're in the...uh..." Gerald stammers, neither of them wanting to disclose that they're in the fourth grade.

"Sixth grade," Arnold lies.

"You guys are short to be in the sixth grade, you know?" Maria chuckles, lowering his glasses.

"Yeah well, uh, you know how it is. I mean," Gerald scoffs.

"We never eat our vegetables," Arnold explains, Amy sighing at them.

"Yeah, that's right. No cauliflower for us," Gerald waves a wand.

"Stumped our growth," Arnold confirms, the two laughing again.

"Hey Maria! Come over here!" Tommy calls out from the ladder of the diving board.

"Hey vato, why don't you come over here?" Maria stands up, placing her hands on her hips.

"Come over here!" He waves her over again.

"Come over here!" She points to the spot next to her.

"Aw, forget you!" He waves her off.

"Forget you!" She retorts back, both boys jumping into the pool. The four get splashed, including Amy. She shivers from the cold water, grabbing a towel to cover herself up. Maria shakes her hair to make it dry. Connie leans in towards her.

"Hey Maria, confererence," she whispers to her, their backs turned to Arnold and Gerald.

"What do you think they're saying?" Arnold asks, as they can't hear.

"I don't know," Gerald shrugs helplessly. "Sixth grade girl stuff. And just stay cool." He gives a smug smirk.

"Me? You stay cool!" Arnold points at him.

"So you guys wanna go to a dance Saturday night?" Maria suddenly asks them.

"Huh?" Both look surprised.

"Well, sure, we can do that. Eh, Arnold?" Gerald answers.

"Yeah, we can do that," Arnold repeats.

"Pick us up at 6:30," Maria writes something on Arnold's hand. "That's my address and por favor? Don't be late. You can invite your friend too."

"Okay!"

"Bye! And she's my sister!" Arnold waves, the two boys bumping into each other.

"T-Thank you!" Gerald stutters and they both run to Amy.

"Thank you?" Arnold asks in disbelief. Connie and Maria look at their boyfriends, who are still wrestling.

"This really oughta cheese 'em off," Connie comments.

"Yeah, they'll be watching us hang out with those cute little chicos, it'll make 'em locos," Maria agrees.

"Maria!" Both girls look annoyed. "Come over here! Maria!"

* * *

It's Saturday already as Gerald knocks on Arnold and Amy's door. He has a chest near him. "Hey, happenin' dude. I got us some funky threads," he pats the chest.

"Huh?" Arnold looks confused at his outdated slang and Gerald drags the chest up the stairs.

"I found this in my attic. This is my dad's dating trunk! It's got everything we need!" Gerald opens the trunk, little moths coming out of it. Amy walks in with a tray, which has a sandwich and juice.

"Dating trunk? Yeah, this is gonna be great," she says sarcastically, climbing up to her bed.

"See? Navy jackets, platform shoes, puka shells, cologne au de oof, and this!" Gerald holds up a book and Arnold looks at it.

" 'Cool Moves Fo' Happenin' Dudes?' " Arnold reads the title.

"Dude, they haven't been selling those books since the 80s at least," Amy comments as she reads a book.

"Arnold, these are sophisticated ladies!" Gerald shakes his head, closing the trunk. "If we act like we usually do, they'll know we're squares! But with this book, we'll be the coolest kids at the dance! And listen," He takes the book from Arnold. "If you wanna be a happenin' dude, you need to learn to mingle. When you introduce yourself to a young lady, try this line. 'Hey, mama. You are one out of sight freaky chick!' "

Amy laughs at this while Arnold takes the book. "You know, being yourself works too, Gerald."

"These are sixth grade girls, princess," he reminds her.

"Let me see that. The happenin' dude is always cool, and knows the right thing to say." He closes it with a sigh. "I don't know, Gerald. Maybe we should call this off."

"Call it off?! Are you kidding?! Listen, Arnold. All our lives we've been looked down on. We were too little, or too young, or too immature. But tonight, we've got our chance to be big-shots! We've got a chance to go out with sixth grade girls. That's a chance that comes along once in a lifetime, and I say we take it! Who knows? We might even get a kiss! So what do you say?"

Arnold smiles slowly from his speech. "You with me, man?" He offers a hand and Arnold takes it.

"You're right, Gerald. By the end of the night, I'm gonna get a kiss from a sixth grade girl."

"Now you're talking!" Gerald agrees.

"Amy, hand me that book," Arnold orders. Amy jumps down and hands it to him. "Far Out Dance Steps for Swingin' Hipsters." He hears music and looks up to see that Gerald put it on. He starts bobbing his head to the beat. "Amy, you do dance. Help us out here."

Amy sighs in defeat. "Fine...but only because you're my brother. I'll help you get dressed too."

* * *

Later at 6:30, Arnold knocks the door to his apartment. "Yeah?" Maria's dad opens the door. Arnold is wearing red and white, his hair slicked back as he wears glasses. Gerald is wearing a purple shirt with yellow polka dots, along with blue pants. He has his hair as an afro and is wearing a pukka shell necklace. Both boys are wearing yellow shoes. Amy is also with them, wearing a pink dress with a green belt. Her hair is down and curly, also having a pink bow in her hair.

"Uh...is Maria here?" Arnold asks nervously. They sit down across from Maria's father except for Amy, who's outside. She didn't want to be stuck with the dad.

"You're pretty short for sixth graders," he notices.

"We didn't eat our vegetables," Gerald crosses his arms.

"Stunted our growth," Arnold shrugs.

"No cauliflower for us," Gerald chuckles nervously before coughing. "Sir."

"Nuts?" Maria's dad offers them a bowl of peanuts.

"No, thanks."

"That's okay."

"Pass."

"Maria!" Her dad calls out. "Come over here!"

The girls walk downstairs, the boys staring in shock and awe. Connie is wearing a blue dress with white sneakers and a purple bracelet. Maria has on a blue shirt and purple skirt, the same bracelet as Connie as she has big purple sandals. Both are wearing make-up. "You guys ready?"

Arnold and Gerald glance at each other nervously.

* * *

They all sit in a taxi cab, Arnold and Gerald still having the same looks as before. "I didn't know we were gonna take a cab," Gerald whispers to them.

"Don't you guys know that when you take a woman out, the boy pays?" Amy whispers back. "Even I know that."

"Why didn't you tell us? What does the book say?" Arnold asks and Gerald pulls it out from Amy's purse. Gerald tries to look for something, anything. Connie chews some gum.

"Trains, rickshaws, cabs!"

"A happenin' dude always pays his foxy lady's cab fare!" Arnold reads, sighing as they don't have enough money. He looks at the meter. "Aw man..." It's already over 6 dollars. He leans back to Amy and Gerald. "What do you got?" What they have combined is less than a dollar.

"Don't look at me, I didn't bring any," Amy holds up her hands in defense.

"Local community center. $6.90," the driver holds out his hand. Maria pays him, Arnold shrugging in despair. The night hasn't even started and they're already not making a good impression.

They step inside and they look in awe. Sixth graders everywhere looked to be having a good time. There's a disco ball in the middle of the dance floor. Most of them were dancing. "Take the vibe, man. Act cool," Gerald tells Arnold.

"Huh?"

"Page 18," Gerald points to the door.

"Just so you guys know, I don't approve of that thing," Amy points to the book. "I'm gonna get some punch," she walks away.

"Be careful," Arnold says and she rolls her eyes. Maria walks up to Arnold and takes his hand.

"Come on vato, let's groove," she starts pulling him away.

"I'm cool," Arnold says to Gerald, smiling. Gerald winks at him.

"Yo Gerald, let's go," Connie appears behind him.

"No object to that, pretty mama. Out of sight," Gerald slides smoothly and she grins. Tommy pops a balloon with a pin. Burt sees their girlfriends.

"Hey Tommy, there's Connie and Maria!"

"Hey, who they with?" Tommy demands as he sees Arnold and Gerald.

"Looks like a couple of shrimpy guys," Burt explains.

"What goes on here?" He steps up to them. "Hey, Maria. Who's the shrimp?"

"Buzz off, Tommy. I'm with my date, you know." She pulls Arnold away.

"But Maria!" Tommy protests, Connie and Maria ignoring him.

"What goes on?" Burt walks up to him.

"I need some punch," Tommy narrows his eyes.

"Hey, you guys dance?" Maria asks.

"Dance? Natch, babe. Me and Gerald are hip to the groove, foxy mama."

"Dynamite!" Gerald exclaims and Amy sees them, shaking her head at their attempts to look cool. "Remember our moves."

"I'm cool," Arnold points both his fingers at him. They start dancing with their dates, both boys glancing at each other. They shake their hips, doing some disco moves. Maria laughs at them. Gerald wiggles his arms, Tommy and Burt glaring at them. Arnold does a split and jumps back up, pointing at Gerald. Connie finds herself laughing too as everyone has their attention on the two fourth graders now. Gerald stands using his hands and jumps back up. They continue dancing, Amy chuckling as she claps. Once the music is over, everyone applauds them. Tommy gulps down his punch.

"Hit me again."

"Where'd you guys learn to dance, anyway?" Connie wonders.

"Man, happenin' dudes like us? We just put the groove in groovy," Gerald answers smoothly.

"Yeah, we're cool, chickadee," Arnold says as their dates are wrapped around their arms.

"Man, you guys crack me up," Maria comments. Arnold and Gerald do their signature handshake, making both girls laugh. "Yo Connie, don't look now, but the stupidios are checkin' us out," she sees Burt and Tommy with jealous looks.

"You think they're really chesed off?" Connie asks.

"Man, I'm really cheesed off! Who do they think they are, anyways?" Tommy says angrily. Amy is standing near the punch bowl, having heard him. Her eyes widen as she glances at the sixth grade girls in shock. Connie and Maria laugh to themselves.

"I think we're doing pretty good, don't you?" Arnold asks.

"Yeah, they have no idea that we're only fourth graders. This is shaping up to be the greatest night of our lives, Arnold!" Gerald agrees.

"Yeah, all we gotta do is stay cool."

"Listen, Connie and me gotta go visit the powder room, but we'll be right back," Maria pinches Arnold's cheek.

"Don't dance with anyone else, okay?" Connie pinches Gerald's cheek. They sigh happily, Amy trying to move past to get to them.

"Hit me again, Melvin," Tommy orders.

"I think perhaps you've had enough," Melvin adjusts his glasses.

"I'll tell you when I've had enough!" Tommy grabs him by the shirt. "Hit me!" He does so and Tommy gulps it down.

"Arnold, this is going great," Gerald and Arnold sit down in chairs against the wall. "I can't believe it!"

"Gerald, tonight, I'm gonna get that kiss," Arnold brags.

"Get that what?" Tommy demands as the two have seen that the girls have left.

"So, you two punks think you can steal our girls, huh?" Burt points at them.

"Maybe it's time we teach you a lesson," Tommy punches his hand.

"Hey, we didn't do anything!" Arnold defends as Amy walks up to them.

"Uh, Arnold?" She whispers.

"We just picked up the vibes and hang out," Gerald shrugs sheepishly.

"With our girlfriends, you mean," Burt accuses.

"Yeah, maybe we should bring you out!" Tommy finishes. "The girl too!"

"Fight fight fight fight!" The crowd cheers as the two sixth grade boys drag the three outside. They're pushed outside, Amy running to the wall as she didn't do anything. The crowd surrounds them, Arnold and Gerald looking around nervously. Amy runs back inside.

"Look, you're dudes, we're dudes," Gerald starts, trying not to get beaten up.

"Can't we just work something out?" Arnold asks.

"Sure, we can work something out...how bout we work your arm out of its socket?" Tommy grabs Arnold's arm, twisting it around. His glasses drop to the ground.

"Yeah, and then we beat 'em up in the head with it." Everyone else cheers, Arnold and Gerald hoping they can get out of this.

"Hey, guys!" Connie, Maria, and Amy are standing at the entrance. Connie and Maria didn't look happy. "What goes on here?" They all gasp, turning to the three.

"Nothing," Tommy denies.

"It don't look like nothin'!" Maria argues, placing her hands on her hips.

"We were just talking!" Tommy protests.

"Tommy? You let him go, NOW!" Maria orders and Tommy does so.

"Yeah, you too, Burt," Connie says, equally as stern. Burt lets Gerald go and he fixes his hair.

"I just wanna say, I'm disgusted with the two of you!" Maria scolds.

"We're sorry, Maria," Tommy says in guilt.

"Yeah, we're sorry, Connie. We're just jealous, that's all." Tommy punches Burt in the arm. "It's true!"

"Whatever, just...you get outta here! Go wait for us at the bus stop!" Maria points to her left and they walk away. Everyone murmurs to themselves. "No good big-shot boyfriends..." She looks to the crowd. "And what are yous looking at? The show's over!" They murmur in disappointment, going back inside. She looks at Gerald and Arnold. "I'm sorry we led you on."

"Cuz you're real cute and all, except...I don't know why, but we've still got this thing for Tommy and Burt," Connie shrugs.

"Yeah, and I don't know why either," Maria shrugs.

"So...you were just playing with us?" Gerald and Arnold look disappointed.

"You didn't really like us?" Arnold asks.

"It's not like that, guys. I confronted them in the bathroom and also warned them about what happened," Amy shakes her head.

"It's not that we don't like you!" Maria protests.

"Yeah, we like you. I mean, you're pretty cool for fourth graders, it's just..."

"It's just you're fourth graders, you know?" Maria places a hand on Arnold's shoulder. Arnold and Gerald still look sad, Amy smirking at the two girls.

"Hey, come on. Before you know it, you'll be growning up," Connie offers.

"And all the girls will be looking at you," Maria suggests and they start smiling.

"Yeah, and if you stay sweet as you are now, who knows? Maybe Maria and me will be looking at you too," Connie finishes.

"R-Really?" Arnold asks in anticipation.

"It could happen," Maria shrugs.

"Yeah. So, thanks for taking us to the dance."

"Yeah." Both girls kiss each other's respective dates on the cheek. They leave their lipstick on their cheeks.

"Maria! Get over here!" Tommy calls out.

"Tommy, you come over here!" Maria starts walking away.

"See ya later, chick-a-baby," Connie blows the two a kiss.

"Just come over here!" Tommy yells again.

"Why are you always doing that?" Maria demands.

"Doing what?"

"That thing you always do!" Amy comes between the two boys, pointing to their lipstick smugly.

"I ain't doing nothing!" The two boys stare after the girls, love-struck and happy they got kisses.

 **The Baseball**

Out in space, Arnold is floating around. A comet approaches him, but when it comes closer, it's not really a comet. It's actually a baseball. He sees that the baseball is coming towards him and it starts to descend down into his neighborhood...more specifically, towards the makeshift lot they use to play baseball. Helga catches the ball, as she's the pitcher. All of it was just a dream and Arnold had just gotten a strike in the game.

"Strike one, head boy!" Helga calls out, throwing the ball back to the pitcher. "What a wussy swing." Arnold glares at her. "Okay, move in. This guy can't hit!"

"Helga," Amy shakes her head as she moves closer with the others. "That's not really necessary..."

"Just you and me, Arnold," Harold throws up the ball. "Your old stick against my brand-new grip-stitched major league baseball." He throws it and Arnold barely touches the ball as he misses again.

"Strike two!" The others laugh at Arnold except Amy as the ball is thrown back to Harold. Nadine, Sheena, Amy, and Gerald cheer him on. Arnold spits onto his hand and shakes his behind, prepared to hit it this time.

"Ooo, Arnold, who do you think you are? Mickey Kaline or something?" Harold teases.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm Mickey Kaline," Arnold replies. Mickey Kaline is Amy and Arnold's favorite baseball player. One of the things that the twins had in common was that they loved baseball. Harold chucks the ball and Arnold slams the ball against his bat. The baseball goes flying out of sight, everyone staring in awe. The ball starts to roll away.

"Wow..."

"My ball, my ball! My brand-new ball!" Harold cries as he chases after it.

* * *

"Man Arnold, that was great!" Gerald congratulates as they walk back.

"I just pretended like I was Mickey Kaline and bam, I hit it!" Arnold explains. Amy hugs him.

"That was an amazing hit, Arnold!" He hugs her back slightly.

"There's one thing I don't get," Eugene voices. "Who's Mickey Kaline?" Arnold and Amy stop, their eyes wide.

"Who's Mickey Kaline?" Arnold repeats, a hand on his hip. "You gotta be kidding!"

"Uhh..." Eugene gives a nervous look. "No?"

"Amy?" Arnold calls out, turning to her.

Amy sighs, placing down her kitty backpack. "Now you've done it, man," Gerald murmurs as Amy opens it. Amy pulls out a safe, Eugene blinking at it. She opens it up and hands Arnold something. He holds up the card in Eugene's face.

"This is Mickey Kaline. He's my favorite player of all time. 533 homeruns, life-time batting average of 299, 1 point below 300," Gerald and Sheena glance at each other. "Mickey married his high school sweetheart Shirley, wears a size 13 shoe, and goes by the nickname Chet. Mickey Kaline is the greatest baseball player who ever lived."

"...I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Creepyyy," Amy sings. True, Kaline was her favorite, but she didn't go overboard like her brother.

"Kaline's a BUM!"

"Huh?" Arnold turns to see Ernie and Mr. Green watching something on TV. "What's going on?" The kids approach them.

"Kaline's striking out again! What else is new?" Ernie explains.

"Tell you what, it's a sad thing to see, Jay. One of the greatest sluggers is just a mere shadow of a former self. Man, I hate to see Kaline go like this."

"What's he talking about?" Arnold asks.

"Haven't you heard? Mickey Kaline's retiring," Mr. Green answers, Arnold gasping.

"What?! No way!" Arnold exclaims in disbelief.

"Tomorrow's his last game, and the day after that, the team starts to win!" Ernie tells them. Kaline gets a strike.

"Strike three and the Big Mac goes down swinging! The world may never see...another Mickey Kaline..." Kaline walks away from his spot.

"Hear that, guys?" Arnold starts walking away. "Tomorrow is Mickey Kaline's last game! We gotta go!"

"But how?" Gerald asks. "We don't have any money."

"And there's not enough time to get any by then..." Amy shakes her head.

"I'll come up with the money, guys. Somehow, someway! You'll see!" Arnold declares in determination. He couldn't just not go, Kaline was his favorite!

* * *

Later that night, Arnold sulks at his desk. He sighs as he looks up at his board dedicated to Kaline. A flush is heard and someone comes into the room. "Hey, what's eating you, Shortman?" Grandpa walks up to him. There's not that much money in front of Arnold...at least, not enough to go to Kaline's last game. Amy steps down from her bed.

"Mickey Kaline isretiring," Arnold laments.

"That old fat guy? I thought he was dead," Grandpa comments.

"Grandpa," Amy looks at him.

"No, Grandpa, he's alive. But...tomorrow's his last game and...we don't have enough money to go!" Grandpa places his hand on Arnold's shoulders.

"Say, what about the money you got from that dog washing business?" Grandpa suggests.

"Yeah! I forgot about that!" Arnold runs towards his bed. "I hope there's still something left!" As he searches, Grandpa winks at Amy, leaving enough money for the two of them to go on Arnold's desk. Amy smiles at him, leaving two dollars herself. Arnold picks up his 'this is not money' jar and jumps off the bed, running back. He counts it, Grandpa giving an innocent look.

"I've got enough! Thanks, Grandpa. You think of everything!" Arnold walks away, Grandpa chuckling.

"All it takes to make a kid happy is an extra five bucks...hey, wait a minute. I had a 50 in here! Arnold, come back!"

Amy giggles as she crosses her arms, leaning across the desk.

* * *

Amy, Arnold, and Gerald walk up to the line, Arnold holding a baseball bat. "So how much have you got?" Gerald wonders as Arnold goes through his pocket.

"Enough for a couple of cheap bleacher seats. I had more, but Grandpa took back his 50 dollar bill," he explains.

"Hey, as long as I get a nice, big jumbo drink, maybe s-"

"Uh, no Gerald. All we've got is enough for the tickets. And maybe one hot dog," Arnold interrupts.

"One hot dog?! That really bites, man," Gerald looks annoyed, hands on his hips.

"It's better than nothing, Gerald..." Amy murmurs.

"Yo," they turn to a mysterious man. "If you want something a little cheaper, three tickets, half the price. Eh?" He wiggles three tickets from behind him. Arnold and Gerald give each other smug looks.

"I dunno about this, Arnold," Amy whispers, but he ignores it.

"Let's see...section Q. Section Q." Arnold wonders as they hold food and souvenirs. He sees someone standing near the entrance to Section E. "Excuse me. Can you tell us where our seats are?" Gerald holds up his ticket and the man laughs hysterically.

"Another solid base and the score is all tied up." The announcer says. Arnold, Amy, and Gerald...are sitting behind a pole.

"Can you see anything?" Arnold wonders.

"Yeah...one of those little dots running past, and another one of those little dots." Someone growls behind him and he smiles sheepishly, moving out of the way. The crowd cheers as someone hits the ball.

"It can't get any worse than this, Gerald," Arnold comments as the pole crumbles, debris falling on Arnold's head. "Did a piece of plaster just fall on my head?"

"Come on, Arnold, crack a smile," Gerald encourages.

"It's not so bad," Amy comments.

"You're right, guys. Maybe I can't see Mickey, but I'm here. And I'm gonna make the best of it." He walks up to the pole, looking behind it. "Peanuts!" The man throws it, but Arnold doesn't catch it and the peanuts fall into a grate. "That's it, I'm outta here!"

"Where you going, Arnold?" Gerald asks.

"Down there, to the lower level," Arnold stomps down the stairs.

"Arnold, wait!" Amy calls out, both her and Gerald running after him. Arnold looks out at the field.

"Arnold," his sister and best friend appear behind him. "They catch us down here, they'll throw us out!"

"I don't care," Arnold answers. "I came here to see Mickey Kaline, and I'm gonna take my chances!"

"Hey, you kids sittin' at this level?" They turn around to see a guard. Arnold starts running. "Come back here, you lousy kid!" He runs past Arnold and Amy.

"Run, Arnold, run! Come on, Ar-" Another guard grabs them and takes off Gerald's finger foam hat. "Hey, watch the hair."

Arnold continues running and looks back at the guard, only for another one to block his path. Arnold slides under him, the first guard tripping over the second. The second one chases after Arnold, not realizing that he's already hiding behind a seat. He pants and turns back, seeing the first one on a higher level.

"There he is. Get 'im!" Arnold sits on the staircase and slides down. He turns back to see the guards approaching.

"Next up, number three, Mickey Kaline!" Arnold smiles as he watches. Kaline adjusts his hat, swinging the bat.

"This is it, folks. Mickey Kaline's last bat. This is indeed a historic moment." Mr. Green and Ms. Vitello are watching outside his shop. The boarders at the boarding house are watching as well.

"Kill the empire!" Grandma waves two flags, Grandpa looking at her in amusement. The pitcher shakes his head, Mickey narrowing his eyes. He swings the bat a little and the pitcher throws the ball. Mickey swings and hits it. The ball flies over to Arnold and he jumps, catching it. Everyone around him cheers.

"And the ball is caught by a little boy with a football-shaped head!"

"Hey, that's Arnold!" Grandpa recognizes.

"Arnold caught the ball!" Grandma cheers, the other boarders looking happy. The guards continue to chase Arnold.

"And look at that weird little kid run!" Amy jumps onto the guards, attacking them.

* * *

"Oh, atta boy, Arnold. That's my grandson!" Grandpa laughs as Amy and Arnold return home. Their friends are behind them as the adults watching the game joined them.

"You've got a piece of history there, Arnold. It's like the declaration of independence!"

"Yeah, that was a great catch, Arnold," Amy smiles, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Mr. Green walks up with money. "I'll give ya 300 dollars for it!"

"No thanks, Mr. Green," Arnold shakes his head. "I'll never let this baby outta my sight."

"Now now, leave him alone. Let the boy bask in the glory in peace!" Grandpa says.

"Hey look!" Ernie points to the TV. "It's Kaline!"

"Mickey, your last bat in the major league was a homerun. How do you feel?" A reporter asks.

"Well, uh, to tell you the truth, uh...Fritz. I got real feelings. I felt great hitting the homerun, but uh...well, baseball's been my whole life and uh...I-I'm gonna miss it a lot...a whole lot." A tear comes out of Kaline's eye and he wipes it away. "Oh...sorry about that."

"It's okay, Mic," Fritz has a look of understanding. "We'll be back with the score..." He starts crying too, sniffing. Arnold looks up at everyone else and Mr. Green offers money again.

"$400 hundred dollars, and all the rump roast you can have!" Everyone surrounds him, offering whatever they could just to have the ball.

* * *

Arnold throws up the ball, hitting against Amy's bed. She gives a look of annoyance as he does so. A knock is heard from the door and Grandpa peeks in. "You okay?"

Arnold sits up. "Yeah, but...I guess I'm kinda mixed up."

"Yeah, me too..." Amy murmurs.

"Why? You got to go to your favorite player's last game, you caught a homerun on national television. What's the problem?" Grandpa wonders.

"I dunno...it's just...Mickey's given me so much. I wish there was something I could give him back," Arnold looks at the ball.

"Yeah...he played so hard in his games...I want him to know how much we admired him," Amy explains. Grandpa rubs his chin in thought.

"Well...maybe you can!"

"What do you mean, Grandpa?" Arnold asks.

"I think you know what I mean," he stands up. "If you need me, I'll have the Packard running." He laughs, closing the door.

"Packard?" Amy asks in confusion. Arnold looks at the ball, his eyes widening in realization. He smiles to himself.

* * *

Grandpa stops at the Quigley Stadium, the two stepping out. They look at the usher and he gestures inside. They walk into the stadium and see Mickey Kaline standing there alone. Arnold and Amy walk up to him. "Mr. Kaline?"

"Hey kids. Looking for autographs?"

"Well, not exactly," Amy chuckles a little.

"Here," Arnold offers the ball. "It's the homerun ball you hit this afternoon. I thought you might want it." Mickey takes it, examining it.

"You know, kids, since I was 7 years old, the only thing I ever wanted to do was play baseball. I loved every minute of it. From the first time I played catch with my dad, to the homerun I hit this afternoon," He throws up the ball. "And...well...thanks, kids."

They smile at him. "No, thank you, Mickey Kaline."

"Yeah, you were our favorite!" Amy chirps.

"Well, we'd better get home. Our Grandpa's waiting for us out in the car." They start to walk away, but Mickey places down his bag.

"Hey kids?" They turn to him and he throws it to them. Amy catches it in surprise. "You ever hear the time I beat Bob Gibson in the series with two down?"

"No," Amy throws the ball back. He throws it to Arnold as he starts to explain. They continue playing catch in the process.


	6. Heat and Snow

**Angel: Hi everyone! I just finished this chapter, so I figured why not post it? I will update other stories later on as the week ends...I didn't have school at all this week...I had a lot of time writing yesterday. And it snowed yesterday! YAS!**

Arnold is climbing up an ice cream cone, as there are several in the clouds...He makes it to the top and throws a grappling hook. It latches onto the ice cream and Arnold makes it to the top, placing his hands on his hips proudly. He takes a piece of ice cream in his hand and eats it. Suddenly, his alarm rings and he shakes his head.

"Hey Arnold, Hey Arnold, Hey Arnold," his alarm clock repeats. Amy groans as she places her pillow over her head. He shuts it off, placing a hand over his forehead.

"It's 7 o clock on MJazz. And here's the weather report," Arnold gets up and walks over to his window. "As if you didn't know, we're still in the middle of a heat wave. Today's gonna be another scorcher, cats and chicks. For highs and lows in the hundreds, above all, stay to stay cool." Arnold sees a pigeon fanning himself on his window. Sweat drips down his body as he looks around. People sit in traffic out in the hot sun. Amy slowly takes her pillow off her face, wiping sweat off her face. Even Harvey is suffering, as he's the mailman and has to deliver mail today. A dog with sweat on his back growls at him.

"Not today, Pookie. Please, it's too darn hot," Harvey complains, leaving a letter for Mr. Green. There is no one inside as he's closed down for today. He sits inside in his freezer, holding a drink in his hand.

"Ahh...so what if the door can't be opened from the outside? This is the life."

Iggy pours yogurt over his head inside the local shop. Sid pushes him away. "Hey, move it, man. It's my turn." He takes off his hat, pouring yogurt over his head next.

"And we'll be back with more and much needed cool jazz after this news. City-wide sanitation strike continues as the garbage collection takes a holiday. In another news, film maker remains under house arrest. More at 11." Amy and Arnold walk past Lana Vail, a lawyer.

"Arnold, Amelia, a little cold air, is that so much to ask? Is it?" They sigh from the heat, neither of them answering her question. They walk into the kitchen, Grandma sitting at the table while the others are at the window.

"I can't stand it, Arnold and Amelia. It's hotter than blazes! I'm a grandmother with a husband, two grandchildren, and a boarding house full of people to be responsible for. Tsk..." She places a hand on her cheek.

This heat is so crazy, it's got Grandma acting normal! Arnold thinks, Amy falling to her knees and laying on the floor with a whine. Arnold walks over to Grandpa and the other boarders, who are surrounded by the air conditioner.

"I'm telling ya, one good shot with my wrecking ball, and we could get ourselves some grade A cross ventilation here!" Ernie says.

"Nobody's knocking down any walls, you hard-headed loony!" Grandpa exclaims. "This thing's keeping us plenty cool enough," As soon as he says that, the air conditioner shuts down.

"Oh great! What is this, a brown out or what?" Oskar asks.

"The juices do something or nothing!" Ernie shakes his fist.

"Hold on now, everyone calm down. In these modern times, there's always a smart high-tech solution to problems like these," he bends down to Arnold. "Arnold, take your sister and run down to the store to get us some ice," he pushes the blonde boy forward. Arnold looks down at Amy, who's still on the floor. He sighs and puts her body on his shoulders, walking out with a whining Amy, her hair sweaty.

* * *

They walk over to Tom's Market, the bell ringing as they arrive. "Do you have any ice?"

"Aisle 5," Tom jerks a thumb. They turn, eyes widening in surprise to see a long line for the ice. After most of the line has left, there's only one bag of ice left. Arnold smiles and takes it, Amy paying for it as he lefts. Amy catches up to him, but because of the sun, the bag is slowly starting to melt. Arnold is unaware and so is Amy. They walk home to see Gerald sitting on their stoop.

"Hey Arnold, princess! What's up?" He waves.

"No time to talk now, Gerald. I gotta get this ice inside before it-" Amy tugs his sleeve, pointing to the bag. Unfortunately, only one ice cube remains...before it melts. "Melts.

"Aw man, now what are we gonna do?" Amy looks inside.

"Well, I'll tell you one thing I wouldn't do. I wouldn't go back in there empty-handed," Gerald points inside.

"Oh come on, Gerald. These people are our family. They won't get mad at us over a lousy bag of ice," Arnold walks back inside, Amy staying behind and glancing at Gerald.

"And in 3, 2, 1," Amy counts down.

"What?! No ice!" They all start yelling at him and he runs back outside.

"Come on, let's get outta here!" He runs off with his sister and Gerald, sighing. "Oh, we've gotta do something, Gerald. I dunno how much longer I'm gonna last."

"If I was able to melt, I would've done it already," Amy murmurs. They stop in their tracks, Arnold grinning widely at the fire hydrant.

"Are you thinking...what I'm thinking?" Gerald questions. "Well, since you're twins, I probably shouldn't have asked..."

They pull on the top together with a wrench. They struggle to move it until water bursts out, knocking the two back. They all cheer, running to the water until it suddenly stops. "Hey," they run back, looking in confusion before hearing sirens. They turn around to see the firefighters putting out a fire that had broken out. "Now what are we gonna do?"

"A movie?" Gerald questions as they stand in front of a theater. "That's a great idea! It sure would be cool in there."

"I wonder what's playing," Amy looks up at the posters.

"The Day the Sun Exploded?" Gerald asks.

"Invasion of the People Melters?" Arnold questions.

"Hotter than the Sun?" They all ask, groaning.

"Oh no..." Arnold looks to his right. A long line, just like the market. "Look at that line...I know!" He snaps his fingers.

* * *

Later, they arrive at the pool, wearing their bathing suits. "Noooo," Amy complains as the pool is totally full. They walk up to a man. "Mister, can you make room for us, please?"

"Forget it, kids, you're too late. Besides, the water's not even cold," he explains.

"I don't care. Let me in. Come on, let me in," Arnold begs, Amy and Gerald holding him back.

"Come on Arnold, just forget about it." They walk away.

* * *

They walk slowly in the sun, the sweat sizzling. "Oh, we're gonna die, Gerald. That's all there is to it. We're just gonna keep sweating until there's nothing left," Arnold complains.

"Everything is either full or we have to wait in line," Amy mutters bitterly.

"Hey, look!" Gerald points to the Jolly Olly Man, a group of kids around him. The three glance at each other.

"You can't do this to us! It's not human!" Helga protests.

"Hey, free market economics, kid. Haven't you ever heard of supply and demand?" The Jolly Olly Man crosses his arms.

"Well, I demand that you supply me with some ice cream, before I knock your teeth out!" Helga threatens, the other kids shouting at him. Arnold, Amy, and Gerald, confused, walk up to Sid.

"What's going on?" Arnold taps his shoulder.

"The jerk's charging 20 bucks for a scoop of ice cream!" Sid places his hands on his hips.

"Twenty bucks?!" Arnold exclaims.

"That's unfair and overpriced!" Amy narrows her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. "Charging kids just to make more money? That doesn't justify anything! We're dying out here!"

"Well, actually, rum raisin is only 15, but he wants 30 for cookie dough!" Sid elaborates.

"That's no fair!" Arnold exclaims.

"I'll take a snow cone," Eugene says.

"18 dollars!" The Jolly Olly Man asks for.

"All I have is 70 cents. What'll that get me?" The ice cream man just laughs.

"Nothing!"

"Hey!" He turns to an angry Arnold and Amy. They walk up to him, grabbing him by the shirt. "Let me tell you all about my day, Mr. Jolly Olly Man!" Arnold lets go of him. "The brown out shut down my air conditioner. My bag of ice melted before I could get it home. I couldn't get into the movie theater or the city pool! And now, when I finally found a little relief from the heat, a little ice cream, you snatch it away! You better show me some ice cream at a fair price, or face the consequences!"

" **GIVE US SOME DANG ICE CREAM FOR CHEAP** ," Amy growls, clenching her fist. She loved sweets, and didn't like seeing kids getting injustice just because he wanted more money.

"You can't do anything, you're just a kid," he taunts.

"Oh yeah? No ice cream, no peace! No ice cream, no peace!" Everyone starts cheering along with them. Helga looks around, swooning.

"Oh my love, you're so brave..." She starts chanting along too, the kids surrounding the Jolly Olly Man. Arnold walks back to Gerald, proud.

"Uh oh, Arnold, you started something," he points to the group, Arnold's face turning into dismay as the kids surround the man. He gives a nervous look as Helga climbs on top of the van.

"We've had enough! We want our ice cream and we want it at a price we kids can afford!" She declares.

"You said it, sister!" Harold encourages, shaking his fist.

"That's right!" Iggy agrees.

"And if we don't get it, we're gonna do something really bad!" They cheer and holler.

"Arnold, what is she talking about?" Gerald wonders.

"I dunno," Arnold shrugs. Helga stomps on the roof with her feet.

"Okay, okay!" Jolly Olly Man calls out, running a hand through his hair. "You can have rum raisin for 10."

"Let's turn over the truck!" Helga yells.

"Wait, what?!" Amy exclaims, as she didn't want it to go this far. The kids cheer and run over to the truck. S they start to tip it over, Helga wobbles as she's still on top.

"No, wait, I gotta get down, you dopes. Morons," she slides down, Amy joining Arnold and Gerald. "Okay, let's do it!" They holler.

"Yeah, let's turn it over!" Eugene yells, rubbing his hands. He cracks his back. "Is there a doctor in the house?"

"Dude, you gotta do something!" Gerald says to Arnold.

"Us?" Arnold gestures to himself.

"Yeah! You started this!" He argues, the two glancing at the kids as they try to turn it over. The twins gulp and walk over.

"Uh, excuse us? I said excuse us." Arnold calls out, but they can't hear him over the cheering. He sighs, turning to his sister. "You wanna give it a shot?"

She puts two fingers to her lips, whistling louder. They stop and turn to them. "Look, you have a right to be angry. Trust me, I am too," Amy glares at the Jolly Olly Man.

"But we can't let the heat make us that crazy. The Jolly Olly Man is our friend. Harold, have you forgotten that time he sold you that slightly damaged snow cone at half price?" Harold thinks about it, sulking as he remembers. "And Helga, what about those chocolate-covered bubblegum sticks you love? Doesn't he always have 'em in stock?" Helga just crosses her arms. "And Eugene, didn't he help you that time you were choking on your favorite rainbow turbo pops?"

"I really, really need a doctor," is all Eugene says, holding his back.

"The heat is turning us against each other. Jolly Olly Man against kids, kids against Jolly Olly Man. It's the heat! Don't you see? This has to stop. You guys can't let the heat do this to you. So what do you say?" Amy finishes. They all think about it...

"Let's flip the truuuuuck!" Helga yells, pumping her fist.

They all go back to what they were doing, Amy giving a blank look. "Well, we gave it our best shot," Arnold glances at Gerald.

"Flip the truck!" They cheer as they try to flip it over. Jolly Olly Man pulls at his collar.

"What are we gonna do?" Gerald asks.

"I dunno," Arnold answers, a large shadow looming over him. He looks up. "Hey." Rain clouds cover up the sun and it starts to rain. The kids all stop, standing out in the rain.

"It's a miracle!" Gerald cheers.

"Yay!" Amy jumps up and down. All the kids, distracted by the rain, don't notice Jolly Olly Man sneaking to his truck.

"I am out of here..." He drives away, all the boarders in the rain too. Amy, Arnold, and Gerald run up the stairs to the boarding house.

"Got a little crazy out there, didn't it?" Amy asks.

"Don't blame yourself, guys. It was the heat," Gerald smiles.

"Well, it's nice to have things back to normal," Arnold comments, Grandma walking past with a scuba outfit.

"And the forecast is rain, rain, rain for the rest of the week, kids. Predicting massive floods, winds of gust at 60 miles an hour. So put away that garden hose, cats. No need to water those plants." It continues to rain.

 **Snow**

That rain later turned into snow a week later. A snowflake falls past the bridge and into the city. At 7 o clock sharp, the radio turns on, waking Amy and Arnold. Amy looks up at the snow with a smile. She starts climbing to the roof, Arnold following her. He opens the window, smiling as Amy steps out into the snow. Arnold smiles too, looking at the snow-covered buildings. "The first snow of the season..."

"Eh, first snow of the season," Grandpa mutters. Snow always meant work for the boarding house. A car drives past as someone shovels snow outside his shop. Grandpa walks down to get the paper, only to have snowballs thrown at him. "Hey!"

Iggy and his friend run away.

"Dangnabit kids! You good for nothing, jitter-bugging-" He insults them as he walks inside.

"And we're back with that straight ahead jazz in this weather report. How bout that crazy blizzard last night, kids? The city's buried in 10 inches of powder."

"School closures, school closures..." Arnold murmurs as he puts on his winter gear. "Come on, school closures!"

"Please please please!" Amy begs as she puts on her pink parka and green boots.

"And now for the list of school closures."

"Yes!" Arnold cheers. "Let's go, PS 118!"

"PS 112, closed." Amy and Arnold jump onto his bed. "PS 113, closed. PS 114, 115, 116, 117...hmm, can't quite read this one."

"118, 118," Amy and Arnold say.

"Come on!" Amy eggs.

"Oh yeah, PS 118, closed."

"YES!" They cheer, jumping down. "Yeah!" Amy puts on her pink hat and scarf.

"Better make a list," Grandpa says to himself. "Hmm...rap the pipes, fix the heater, shovel the sidewalk, defrost the refrigerator..."

"Go sledding, start a snowball fight, carve ice sculptures, make snow angels," Arnold lists as he and Amy are walking down the hall.

"Clean the garage, salt the sidewalk, de-ice the windshield, change the filters, mount the snow tires..."

"Make a snowman, build an igloo," Amy finishes as they slide down the stairs, landing on Grandpa's lap. "We're sorry, Grandpa!" They get off him.

"What's your hurry, nanooks?" He wonders.

"Gerald's meeting us at the corner to go sledding! The whole city's one giant sled hill, Grandpa!" Arnold explains.

"Yeah! It's gonna be fun!" Amy smiles happily.

"Hmm, one giant traffic jam, if you ask me," Grandpa crosses his arms. "Have a good time."

"Thanks! Bye!" They turn to leave, but Grandpa grabs their arms, stopping the two blond twins.

"Course, before you go, I could use a little help shoveling the walk."

"Sure! How long could that take?" Amy offers.

* * *

Arnold and Amy shovel on one side, Grandpa on the other. Their pile lands in front of Grandpa and he throws it back to them. They look up at everyone else having fun in the snow.

"Yup! Life isn't all fun, you know. It's not some turkey shoot! You gotta work once in a while! That's the trouble with our society," Arnold gives Amy a blank look. "No work ethic!" Grandma sleds by with the animals that always leave the boarding house.

"Rescue the missionaries! Hyah!" He cracks at them with a whip.

"Of course...it had to be sled animals," Amy murmurs.

"Hey guys!" They turn around to Gerald. "Let's go sled! Let's hit the hill!" He holds up three trash can lids.

"Um, we'll catch you to you soon when we're done shoveling the sidewalk," Arnold explains.

"Okay, guys. I hope you make it before spring," he runs off to follow Stinky and Curly. Arnold and Amy continue to shovel snow, while everyone else gets to have fun...well, except Harvey.

"I hate the snow. I hate the snow, the rain, and the sleet. Man, I sure do hate the snow. My feet are froze, and my toes are too. I hate, I hate," he slides down a hill, but gets back on his feet, dragging his bag along with him. "I hate the snow, I hate the snow."

Harold throws a snowball, laughing with Iggy.

"What are you rotten brats up to now? You better not be throwing snowballs at city buses again!" Harold's mother shakes her fist.

"We're not!" Harold hides a snowball behind his back. She slams the door closed, the boys laughing. "Bus!" He hides and as the bus approaches, all three boys throw a snowball, hitting the window.

"Ahh! Can't see! We're all gonna die!" He turns to Grandma, Abner, and the sled animals, who act nonchalant to the whole thing.

"Well, Shortman and pumpkin, that's-" The bus passes by them, covering them in snow. It crashes, the force making the snow melt slightly. The animals sled out with Grandma.

"Let's rescue the missionaries! Hyah!" Amy and Arnold stare at her, continuing to shovel. All of the kids are sledding.

"Come on, Eugene!"

"You can do it!"

"Okay, here goes!" Eugene calls out, the sled starting to tilt. "Here I go!" He holds his arms up, sledding past the group of kids. "Wheeee!" He sees a pole approaching and screams, trying to steer away from it. Luckily, he does not crash, the kids clapping. But his hand unfortunately hits the pole and a pile of snow falls down on him. His head pops out of the snow. "I'm okay..."

A truck shovels snow on the roads, Helga making a snowman outside her home. Of course, she resembles it as Arnold, using carrots for the hair and a can for the hat. Phoebe is making a snowman as well. Helga smacks her lips, imitating kissing Arnold. She turns to Phoebe and backs away. "Dumb football-headed snowman." She cuts it in half.

Amy and Arnold sigh in exhaustion, having finished all the shoveling. "Well, kids, that's it."

"That's it? Great! We'll just get our sleds and go-" A small explosion is heard and they run down the stairs to see smoke coming from the heater.

Oskar appears from the door, the other boarders looking out from their windows. "Hey, the furnace is out! I'm freezing!"

"This is nothing! You should've been here in the winter of '49 if you want real cold!" Grandpa yells.

"I don't care. I was in Vietnam in 1949...plus I wasn't born yet! You fix my pipes or no rent!" Mr. Hyunh threatens, the other boarders complaining.

"Will you stop your yapping? Alright, alright! I said alright!" Grandpa argues with them as Amy and Arnold turn to the kids. All of them looked to be having fun and they give sad looks. They wanted to join in too. Grandpa steps out from the front door.

"Alright then. I'll fix the furnace and you can rap the pipes," he hands the two tools. They both sigh as they open the lid, the pipes smoking.

"First snow of the season..." Arnold laments.

Amy sighs, drooping.

* * *

They fix the pipes, help Grandpa with the tires, wash the car, clean the garage, and help Grandpa guide the Packard inside. They crawl out of the furnace.

"Hey guys! Guys, it's almost two. The snow's starting to melt," Gerald walks up to them.

"Well, there's work to do to, Gerald," Arnold stands up, Amy dusting off soot from her parka. "We can't go."

"Come on, you two have been working all day! Give it a rest," Gerald complains.

"Well guess what, Gerald, life isn't all fun! It's not some turkey shoot! You've gotta work once in a while. That's the trouble with our society, no work ethic!" Amy exclaims. "We can't just stop and take a break!"

"Amy's right," the two walk off into the alley, Gerald staring after them. Grandpa had been watching them, sagging. He makes a snowball, water dripping down from the side. He suddenly remembers when he was a kid...

Kids ice-skated, a young Phil smiling at the sight. "That's the problem with our society! No work ethic!" His father said, Phil frowning as he picks up firewood. He looked out at all the fun everyone seemed to be having. Suddenly, he got hit with a snowball. A laugh could be heard as Phil's own father gave an innocent.

"Let the game begin!"

Phil smiled.

Grandpa smiles to himself before thinking...he was doing the same thing to Arnold and Amy. And he didn't feel good about it either. He wanted them to have fun, not work...He snaps his fingers and runs into an alley. He sees the box for the hose and opens it. He takes the hose and turns on the water. Walking back to the snow, he pours water over it, running back to get another hose. He splashes water around the area, turning on hoses.

* * *

Later, the road is a nice, shiny ice rink. Grandpa bends down and feels it, feeling proud. "Ice rink!" He shouts, all the kids and boarders looking at it. They cheer and run to the rink, Grandma herself emerging with hockey gear.

While everyone else is enjoying the rink, Amy and Arnold are gathering firewood. Grandpa calls out to them, but they barely hear it. The kids get ready to play hockey. "Let the game begin!" They cheer and start to play.

"One side! Come on, I'll take you all on!" Ernie skates past them. "Come on, try and get through me!" He uses a trash can as a net, acting as the goalie. They all stare at him, cheering.

Amy and Arnold continue to gather wood.

Helga blows the whistle to start the game. "Hyah!" She slams it against the ice. "One side, shrimp bait." The other goalie gasps and moves out of her way.

Amy and Arnold finish up gathering up one pile of wood.

Oskar and Susie skate together, lifting her up in the air.

Amy and Arnold walk up to another pile. Arnold picks up some snow in his hand, imagining himself sledding right now...Suddenly, they get hit with snowballs and they turn around to see Grandpa. He laughs at them.

"That's the problem with society today."

"What? We got no work ethic?" Arnold wonders.

"No!" He shakes his head. "You got no play ethic!" He holds up ice skates for them. Arnold's are brown while Amy's are white with pink laces. They take their respective skates, sitting down in the snow to put them on.

"Are you sure this is okay, Grandpa?" Amy asks.

"Okay? Sure, it's okay!" He walks in the snow, throwing more snowballs at them, laughing. They wipe their cheeks with a grin, following him out into the outside. They continue playing hockey, Grandma skating over to Ernie. She hits it and he crashes into the can due to the force. The others cheer and she holds up her stick in triumph, Helga laughing. She gasps as Arnold and Amy skate by her, Arnold sliding underneath. She looks at him, swooning. The boarders cheer for them as Arnold makes a goal. Gerald and Grandpa pump their fists, cheering. Arnold smiles as Ruth sees him and smiles. He smiles back at her, Amy shaking her head in amusement. Arnold and Amy skate up to Grandpa. Amy hugs him while Arnold gives him a high-five.

Everyone enjoys their time out in the snow before gathering around a fire...the snow continues to fall, meaning that tomorrow was another snow day...


	7. Operation Ruthless and The Vacant Lot

"Hey, guys! Check it out!" Gerald runs forward, Amy and Arnold following him. "They're setting up for the Annual Cheese Fair!" The truck is being unloaded, several rides and booths around.

"Wow. Seems like it was just last year we celebrated the annual festival of the holy provolone," Arnold says.

"I'm more into the French cheeses myself," Amy comments. Phoebe and Helga are there too, Phoebe looking through one of the holes of a slice of Swiss cheese.

"Phoebe, what on Earth are you doing?" Helga wonders.

"According to festival traditions, Swiss cheese is a window to the soul. If you spin around three times, hold it, and look through a hole, it will guide you towards your true love," she explains, Helga bursting into laughter.

"Poppycock! Gimme that!" She snatches the cheese, spins around, and sees Arnold standing near the truck. She swoons at him and Arnold gasps at something. Ruth is watching the workers set up the fair and he smiles, blinking rapidly. A light shines on her as she stands there.

"Arnold?"

"Arnold?" Amy elbows him.

"Wow...it's her," Arnold comments.

"Who?" Gerald asks before they see her. "Oh, you mean Ruth?"

"Ruth...what a perfect name for such a...divine creature." Arnold walks forward.

"Arnold? Where you going? You okay, man?" Gerald wonders.

"Don't bother, Gerald. When he gets like this, he's always out of it," Amy explains, rolling her eyes. Helga gasps as she sees Arnold walking.

"I know that look...it's the look of love. The look I've been longing for. He finally acknowledges passion for me..." He completely ignores her, walking up to Ruth. "Huh?" Arnold tries to talk to her, but two men walk in front of him with a sign. He attempts to look at her. "Why, that little runt! I oughta squash him like a bug!"

Amy sees Helga and winces to herself. By the time the workers are done moving the sign out of Arnold's way, Ruth is gone. He looks around for her, shrugging at his sister and Gerald. Gerald and Amy look in amusement.

"Of all the idiotic things! Arnold in love with Ruth?" Helga complains to Phoebe. "Puhlease! Not that I care. What's she got that I haven't got?"

"Let me see my list. Longer legs, a dazzling smile, shiny chestnut hair-"

"Gimme that!" Helga snatches the notebook and reads it. "So what?" She throws it over her shoulder. "What kind of guy would fall for that kind of baloney, anyway?"

"I just know it, guys," Arnold insists as the three walk down the street. "It's...It's fate! Tonight at the carnival, I'll see her. She'll see me, and in that instant, she'll realize that we're meant to be," Amy and Gerald secretly roll their eyes. "Me and Ruth P. McDougal..."

"Uh huh, sure," Amy murmurs.

"Ruth P. McDougal. I'll fix her wagon," Helga rubs her hands in determination.

* * *

Later that evening, the Cheese Fair has opened. "Hello, Ruthie. Nice to meet you, Ruth. How you doin' Ruth?" Arnold practices.

"Would you knock that off?" Gerald asks in annoyance.

"I don't wanna forget my opening line!" Arnold explains. "It took me all day to come up with it."

"Gee, they're so long and complicated. I can see why you're concerned. Why don't you just play it straight?" Gerald tells him.

"Yeah, just say something simple," Amy shrugs.

"Okay. Hi Ruth. Yeah! That's it! Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth," he keeps repeating the phrase as he walks.

Later, it sounds weary as Ruth hasn't appeared in his sight. "Stay cool, Arnold," Gerald tells him, playing Whack the Rat. Ruth just happens to walk by.

"There she is!" Arnold screams, startling Amy a little as she's playing darts. However, she manages to win.

"There she is," Helga sees her too. "Commence Operation Ruthless and the evil target in destroying a sixth grade girl. Oh, this is gonna be good."

"Uh, Helga? Just one question," Phoebe wonders.

"What?! Are you implying that I have some sort of ulterior motive? That I'm after this Ruth person because she happens to be the object of some other kid's affections? Some certain young man that I may have my own obsessive affection for? Is THAT your question?! Is THAT your question?!" Helga demands.

"No. Uh, actually, I was gonna ask you which way to the bathroom," Phoebe explains.

"Oh. They're right over there next to the wiener stand. Oh, and Phoebe?"

"Yes?"

"This conversation never happened," Helga explains.

"Right."

But Amy heard it.

Ruth throws out her cheese cotton candy. "Okay, here's the plan," Arnold is holding a cheese kabob. "You give her the cheese kabob, as a token of your affection. That'll break the ice," Gerald instructs. "Then what do you say?"

"Hi Ruth," Arnold repeats. "Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth."

"I think you've got it, Arnold," Gerald pats his shoulder. Arnold walks over, Helga and Phoebe watching him. Amy shakes her head.

"He's doomed," she comments to Gerald.

"Definitely."

"Now, we've gone over and over this plan. It's very complicated. Now, what's step number one? Oh, yeah." They watch and Phoebe runs up past Arnold.

"Try and get me, Helga!" Arnold gives a surprised look.

"Oh Phoebe, wait up! Whoops!" She 'accidentally' bumps into Arnold, making him drop the cheese kabob. "Oh, how clumsy of me." She laughs as she walks back to Phoebe.

"You're a genius, Helga," Phoebe comments.

"Yeah yeah, stop sucking up," Helga retorts. Arnold places a hand on his cheek as he watches them leave. Amy and Gerald walk up to him.

"Ooo, that was good. Maybe now you should try the direct approach," Gerald points to Ruth entering the Hall of Mirrors.

"Yeah, I-I'll just walk up to her, real casual, and I'll say uh..." He stops in his tracks. "Oh, what was it again?"

Amy and Gerald sigh. "Hi Ruth," Amy repeats, a little annoyed that he couldn't even say a simple phrase to her.

"Oh yeah! Good, good! Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth, Hi Ruth." He walks up the entrance, Helga and Phoebe hiding as they hear him.

"He's a sick boy," Gerald whispers to Amy, who laughs as they follow him inside.

"Wait here," Helga orders Phoebe, running inside past Gerald. Phoebe joins Gerald as he lays his arm on the bar, smirking. She gives a bashful look.

Ruth walks down the hall, looking at herself in the mirrors. "Ew." She looked fat in one of them. Arnold looks at himself too, disgusted a little. Helga is on his trail, looking like a model in one of the mirrors. Amy pulls her aside.

"Helga, you mind telling me what you're doing? I saw you 'trip' Arnold," she crosses her arms.

"None of your beeswax! Just because you know my secret love for your brother doesn't mean I have to tell you everything, bucko! Sheesh!" She follows after Arnold, Amy shaking her head.

"I will never understand that girl..."

Arnold sees Ruth from the reflections, smiling widely. He looks around to see if he could locate her. Helga peeks from around the corner.

"Hi Ruth, my name's Ar-" Helga appears in the reflection and he backs away, bumping right into her.

"Hey, watch where you're going, you little yellow-haired shrimp! And who's Ruth, anyway?" She places her hands on her hips. He doesn't answer and she huffs. "What a dumb name. Ruth, Ruth, hello, my name's Ruth. Doi!" She smiles lovingly to herself as he leaves. "He touched me..." She sinks to the floor, touching her arm. She slaps herself before hearing wheezing. Helga looks around as it gets closer, seeing reflections of Brainy around her. She cracks her knuckles, punching Brainy from behind. He falls to the ground and Amy walks in, seeing him on the floor.

"Judging by this, Helga must be nearby," she murmurs, walking off.

Arnold, Amy, and Gerald watch people using the bumper cars, waiting for their turn. Arnold glances at Ruth nearby. Everyone laughs as Sid bumps into Eugene.

"Hey man, don't get in car number 4. The accelerator sticks," Sid warns to everyone.

"Car number 4, eh?" Helga cooks up a plan. "This oughta be good," she pushes people into the cars. "Car number 2, car number 3, car number 4. Perfect," she throws someone out of the way, gesturing to Ruth. "Here you are, ma'am." She walks off, smirking. "Sucker." She gets into the same car as Phoebe, not noticing the number on the door...

"Come on, Phoebe." Phoebe drives, Arnold following Ruth. He drives up to her, waving. She turns to him and he smiles. She smiles back, only for Helga's car to bump into her. Arnold frowns at this, stopping.

"That's it! Faster, faster! Pedal to the metal!" She laughs, the accelerator sticking on their car. Phoebe looks down at it and Ruth parks, Helga confused. "Hey, she stopped. That's not car number 4. It's car number 3. Then who's in car number 4?" She looks at their car number, seeing Phoebe struggling with the steering wheel. She places a hand on her shoulder. "Say goodnight, Phoebe." They crash into the wall, catapulting them in the air and into the inflatable hot dog of the cart. People scream, running away as it deflates. Amy sighs a little as she sees the damage, thankful that her plan didn't work. It wasn't that she didn't like Helga, but Amy didn't really want Helga to interfere with her brother's love life. Even if it was a little...crazy.

* * *

"Step right up! Meet your match. It's mystery match night in the Tunnel of Love!" Harvey is the moderator, wearing Cupid wings. "Men in one line, women in the other. Sure is risky." Arnold peeks around the corner.

"But Gerald, what if I don't get matched up with Ruth?" Arnold asks in worry. Amy didn't want to be in line, so she went off to get a snack.

"Don't worry. We counted up the line. She's number 8 and you're number 8. Nothing can go wrong," Gerald tells him, Helga seeing Arnold trying to jump on the fence. She has a cast around her neck from the incident earlier.

"Make way! Shove over, sister!" She looks over and sees Arnold. "This is perfect. A little maneuvering and I'll be riding a swan with Arnold while Ruth winds up with some dumb slob," she laughs to herself. "Helga, you're a genius." She crashes into a girl. "Shove over, sister!" She moves her behind.

Harold backs away as Rhonda approaches. "I don't wanna go into the Tunnel of Love with you, Rhonda!" She pulls him to the swan.

"Oh, you know you like me, Harold," she teases, getting inside with him.

"I do not," he stands up as the swan takes off. "Help! Let me go! LET ME GO!"

"Move it!" Arnold's eyes widen at Helga's voice. She pushes girls out of the way. "Outta my way! Make way!" Arnold tries to see what's going on. "Cut!" She moves Ruth, smirking to herself. Arnold gulps, falling off Gerald's shoulders. He looks around and moves behind Iggy.

"Excuse me, sorry." Nadine sees and everyone starts moving around. Helga growls at Nadine, panicking as everyone moves spots. She growls and jumps, seeing Arnold right next to her. The fence starts to wobble and she falls, the fence breaking. People scramble to get into a swan as fireworks can be heard.

In the end, Gerald got matched up with Phoebe. "So anyway, that's when we hit the wiener stand."

"Wow, are you okay?" Gerald asks in concern.

"Yeah, I'm okay now," she answers.

Ruth got matched with Sid. "So, nice night huh?" He places an arm around her. Arnold got stuck with his Grandma, who is dressed as a sailor.

"Faster, faster!" Arnold has a blank look on his face.

"Tunnel of Love. Phooey! I can't believe this is happening to me," she got stuck with Brainy. "This is the worst day of my life!" Brainy tries to touch her and when the swan emerges, Brainy is gone. Helga jumps out.

* * *

Arnold, Amy, and Gerald see Ruth as the fair is closing. Helga sees Ruth leaving the fair. "Well, I did it. Operation Ruthless was a total success," she brags.

"Man, Arnold. Sorry," Gerald shrugs. "After all that, Ruth still doesn't even know you exist."

"Yeah, but you know something, Gerald? The challenge just makes me like her even more," Arnold admits, Amy cringing. Helga punches her fist against her hand, gritting her teeth. She looks in surprise as Phoebe leaves the fair with Gerald hand in hand. She sniffs, as she wanted that kind of connection with Arnold...

The lights shut off, leaving Helga standing there alone.

 **The Vacant Lot**

The kids are playing baseball on the street. Gerald sees a car approaching, turning to the others. "Car!" They move out of the way so the car can pass by.

"Not again!" Helga complains. "At this rate, we'll never finish the game!" A honk can be heard.

"Car!" They move back.

"It takes us two days to play one game," Sid says as the car passes by. They step off the sidewalk.

"Car!" Sid, Eugene, Helga, Arnold, and Amy grumble to themselves.

"Come on, we got a red light! Let's get this show on the road!" Helga orders, walking back. Harold throws the ball and Arnold hits it, running. It flies above Harold as he throws his glove onto the ground. Arnold makes it pass first base, but the baseball hits the traffic light, landing in a truck. They gasp as they chase after it, calling out, but the driver doesn't hear them. "That's it! I'm outta here!" Helga storms off. "Let me know when pigs fly so we can finish this game!" She huffs as she leaves.

Amy, Arnold, and Gerald walk past a field. "Man, this truly stinks," Gerald complains.

"Yeah, but what could we do? The older kids hog the park and the playground's closed after school," Arnold explains.

"I don't wanna be stuck with the street," Amy whines.

"If we had our own field, we could play where we want, when we wanted," Gerald says.

"Our own field...that would be perfect," Arnold adds.

"Yeah, maybe then we could finish a game," Amy comments.

"We could call it Gerald Field!" Gerald inputs.

"Yeah, that's what we'll call it!" Arnold exclaims. "Gerald Field."

"I like it," Amy smiles.

"Yeah?" Gerald asks.

"Yeah," Arnold confirms.

"Yeah..." They all laugh. "I like that name. Gerald Field. Just say it."

"Gerald Field," they say together, laughing again. They walk past a space that's full of trash.

"Yeah, but who are we kidding?"

"Yeah," Arnold agrees, Amy seeing it. "We'll never find a place of our own.

"You sure about that?" Amy calls out and her brother runs back, seeing the trashed lot.

"Whoa..." Arnold murmurs. Gerald joins them.

"Hey man, why'd you stop?"

"The lot, don't you see?" Arnold gestures to it. Gerald looks at it. Weeds have grown in tires, and junk was everywhere.

"So?"

"I think Amy's found our baseball field," Arnold ruffles Amy's hair and she swats his hand away, fixing it. Gerald looks at it again and smiles.

"You're bold kids, guys. Bold kids..."

* * *

The next day, most of their friends have gathered around to help, except Helga. They carry shovels and a wheelbarrow to the lot.

"Okay, you guys start clearing the weeds over there, and Amy and I will start here," Arnold says to them. "And we'll meet in the middle. They spread out, Harold and Sheena carrying a sink. Eugene takes half a bike, Arnold carrying the wheelbarrow around. Amy is standing on the handles, throwing trash in the wheelbarrow as he moves. Gerald helps them out. Sid rolls a tire as Brainy carries a TV. Arnold throws a piece of chalk into a small churn, giving a thumbs up to Gerald and Amy. Sheena writes on the wall as Helga comes out from the bus.

"This better be worth it, Football-Head," she steps on the barrel Harold and Sid were carrying. "I was watching CourTV." She takes a tool and starts to help out. Arnold makes the field, Gerald placing a cover on home base.

"I christen this lot," he drops it. "Gerald Field. Let's play ball!" The others cheer as the barrel is for the pitcher. Harold throws it and Gerald hits it.

"I got it!" A kid hits the wall, Sheena, Brainy, and Eugene watching the game. Arnold is next and he hits it. Sid catches it and throws it to Helga, who pushes Gerald out of the way.

"You're out!"

Harold laughs as the two teams switch. Arnold throws the ball and Harold misses. "Strike one!" Gerald throws the ball back. Harold misses again, falling to the ground. "Strike two." Harold seethes a little and misses again. "Strike three! You're out!" Harold bends the bat a little. "You swing too hard, man."

Arnold prepares to throw the ball at Helga. She holds it straight when he throws it, giving a smug smile and running. They continue to play until the sun is down, everyone congratulating Arnold and Gerald for what they did before heading home.

"Just think, this morning it was full of trash," Gerald starts.

"And now, it's a baseball field."

"Our baseball field," the three finish.

"We did a great thing today," Amy smiles as Arnold and Gerald do their special handshake. They start to head home, their arms around each other. But what they don't know is that Mr. Green has arrived, his hands on his hips. He scratches his cheek as he looks over the lot, other adults joining such as Harvey, Ernie, Mrs. Vitello, Mr. Hyunh, and Grandpa. Mr. Green looks at the hubcap.

"You know, I never noticed it before, but," he throws it away. "There's a lot of space out here."

* * *

The next morning, Amy and Arnold leave to go play baseball across the street. As soon as they look over, their eyes widen in surprise to see the adults doing their own things on the field. "Where's our baseball field?" They slowly look around

"Isn't it wonderful, Arnie and Amelia? I've always wanted a ball court," Mrs. Vitello says happily.

"You like horseshoes, Arnold and Amelia?" Mr. Green asks. "There's nothing like a game of horseshoes to relax the old chopping arm," he throws the horseshoe.

"But our field!" Arnold protests.

"You guys took our field!" Amy argues also.

"How can we play baseball with all this...stuff in the way?" Arnold drops his bat.

"Hey, there's chickens in the outfield!" The other kids arrive.

"Forget the chickens! There are checkers on the pitcher's mound!" Helga points to Grandpa and Mr. Hyunh.

"Ha! King me."

"Now what, Football-Head?" Helga questions.

"Well...maybe we could try playing anyway," Arnold suggests.

This doesn't work out so well as Harold throws the ball past the table and into the plants. "Strike one," Gerald announces, poking his head out.

"Strike?! How could you tell? I couldn't even see the pitch!" Sid argues.

"Not so close to the tomatoes, Nancy Jane," Ernie walks up to Helga.

"Hey, I gotta keep one foot on the base!" She points out.

The chickens surround Eugene. "Good chicken. Nice chicken," he backs away to the wall. "I like fried chicken." That was a mistake as they attack him. "Ahh, get off me! No, stop! No, help!" He screams as Amy and Arnold look at the field. Arnold starts running for the ball.

"I got it! I got it!" He runs in Mrs. Vitello's flowers and trips over the hose.

"My flowers! Arnold, this is no place for a baseball game!" The ball lands near him.

Mrs. Vitello moves the washing machine out of the way, the kids on the other side of the street. "We cleared the junk. We pulled out the weeds. Our hands!" He grabs Brainy's arm. "These hands! Look at these hands!" Brainy wiggles his fingers. "They cleaned that lot! It's not fair."

"Why do they get to have the lot if we're the ones who cleaned it up?" Amy complains.

"Yeah, look at us. We're squeezed in like a bunch of sardines," Gerald points out.

Grandpa lies down in his hammock, sighing to himself. "This is the life."

"And grown-ups always telling us what to do," Gerald throws the ball and Sid catches it.

"Yeah. 'Brush your teeth.' "

" 'Comb your hair,' " Sheena inputs.

" 'You can't play baseball.' Rules, rules, rules. They've got rules for everything!" Arnold says. Susie is building a croquet field.

"Hey lady! You can't play croquet here! This area for the potted plants!" Mr. Hyunh bends down. "Potting area!"

"This is where the croquet field is going!" She argues.

"You're both wrong!" Grandpa holds the table over their heads. "This is where the checkers table is going."

"This area for the potted plants!" The three argue about their interests for the area.

" 'Be quiet. Sit down,' " Helga throws the ball and Sid misses.

" 'Don't run in the house,' " Sid recalls.

"Yeah. And always saying 'Why don't you kids play nice?' " Gerald throws the ball back.

"They always boss us around," Amy crosses her arms.

"Out, out, out! What do you think you're doing?!" Mr. Green exclaims to Mrs. Vitello, who is planting flowers.

"I am planting my flowers!" She argues.

"You can't do that, this is the spot for my tanning!" Mr. Green explains.

"Ha! You're gonna need a bigger spot than you're using to tan!" She points at his belly.

"Your chickens eat every one of my tomatoes!" Ernie yells at Harvey.

"Say, man, my chickens need some room to roam around, you understand? Don't fence 'em in, man."

"I won't fence them, I'll fry them!" Ernie runs after the chickens.

"Hey, leave my chickens alone!" Harvey chases after him.

Sid hits the ball and it hits a window. "Run!" They all run away.

"See? This wouldn't have happened if we still had our baseball field," Arnold says to Helga.

"Ha! Welcome to reality, bucko," Helga throws down her glove. "That's what happens when grown ups rule the world." She walks off, the other kids watching them argue. Arnold and Amy join them, Harvey still chasing Ernie.

"Whoa," Sid comments as a punch is heard. "I never knew Mrs. Vitello had such a good right hook."

"That had to hurt," Amy looks away.

"Or that Mr. Green had such a glass jaw," Helga says. Arnold turns to the right, seeing all of the junk they threw away. He smiles as Helga sees it too. He grins widely at her and she smiles at the others. They all realize the plan and walk over to it. Working together, they push it across the street, dumping all of it in front of the group.

"What the heck?" Grandpa asks.

"Arnold, Amelia, I want an explanation," Mrs. Vitello demands. "What's going on?"

"Hey, what are you two, some kind of litter bugs?"

"Quiet! Quiet down!" Grandpa gestures to his grandchildren. "Now if Arnold, Amelia, and their friends had to do this, they must've had a good reason. Head for the hills, children, I'll try to slow them down," he says the last part quietly.

"It's okay, Grandpa. We know what we've done. You see, this is how the lot looked before we cleaned it up," Arnold starts.

"Before we turned it into our own field, Gerald Field. And then you guys kicked us out." They look at each other as Amy finishes.

"So if you want Gerald Field so badly, you can have it just the way we found it. A DUMP!" Gerald declares, the kids storming off.

"Man, I feel like a real heel," Ernie hangs his head.

"Hey man, you know, I mean, we did steal their lot," Harvey says.

"I wish there was something we could do," Mrs. Vitello shrugs.

"Pull on your rubber gloves, boys and girls," Grandma pushes past them. "It's gonna be a long night."

* * *

Arnold and Amy step out of the boarding house, descending down the stairs. When they reach the lot, they were expecting to see the adults using it, but instead, they're cleaning it up into a baseball field, with new bases and better space for the pitcher's mound. Their mouths drop, the other kids joining them.

"What happened to the lot?" Sheena asks.

"Grandma, Grandpa! We don't get it," Arnold and Amy walk up to them. "What happened?"

"Yeah, why are you changing the lot?" Amy wonders.

"Well, children, you both sure showed us what. We gotta fess up the facts that you kids were right and we were wrong," Grandpa explains. Mr. Green reveals two baseballs behind his back.

"In honor of your baseball field, I'd like to present you with a couple of brand-new, league baseballs. And, 8 pounds of grade A ox-tail stump!" They all cheer.

"Wow, thanks Mr. Green. Thanks everybody," Arnold says.

"Now there's only one thing to do at a time like this..." Grandma runs to home base, dressed up. "Play ball!"

"Play ball!" Grandpa declares.

"Play ball!" The kids cheer.

"Play ball!" Mr. Green pumps his fist.

"Play ball!" Mr. Hyunh is running the bases as he shouts.

"WILL YOU BE QUIET?!" Grandpa shouts, Amy laughing.


	8. The List and Haunted Train

At school, it's Friday as the class sits there, waiting for the clock to turn the expecting 3. Arnold sighs, tapping his fingers against his desk. Amy blows a bang out of her hair at Arnold's left. Suddenly, the bell rings and everyone rushes out the door. "Finally, the weekend! Man, I thought it would never get here!" Gerald says in relief.

"Boy howdy!" Sid runs up to the three. "I'm gonna spend the whole Saturday morning watching cartoons!"

Park walks up to them. "Yeah well, I'm going to the park to play catch!" A crowd gathers around, stating what they're gonna do for their weekend.

"What are you doing, Arnold and Amy?" Sid wonders.

"We're doing it all," Arnold explains, everyone confused.

"Huh? What are you guys talking?" Gerald asks.

"We're talking it all. Everything on..." Amy goes through her bag, pulling out a folded paper. "The List."

Everyone gasps at the mention of it. "Yup, The List for a kid's perfect Saturday!" Arnold declares.

"The List? You're both crazy!" Gerald crosses his arms.

"No one's ever done the whole list before," Eugene says as Sid holds the folded paper.

"The List has been handed down from kid to kid for generations. It contains all things kids love to do on Saturday. Behold, the sacred document," Sid holds it up to the other kids and they gasp.

"The List..."

Sid bends down in front of Gerald. "Read it, Gerald." More kids gather around to hear more about the legendary list. Gerald quiets down the murmurs as he opens up the folded paper.

"The List for a kid's perfect Saturday." They all gasp, waiting in anticipation to hear. "Watch every cartoon from six am till Dance Craze," they all cheer, "while eating three bowls of sugar chunk cereal," the kids cheer louder, "ride your bike down the steepest hill in the neighborhood, and you all know which one that is," Harold laughs, "play catch with every kid in the park, and finally, go to the movies and sit through it three times!" Sid takes The List from Gerald.

"Here you go, guys," Sid holds The List out to the wary twins, "No one's ever done the entire List on one Saturday."

"Are you sure about this?" Gerald jumps down to them. "I mean, you're tempting the fates, guys."

"We're doing it. The whole List," the twins start walking away. "We're gonna have the greatest Saturday a kid ever had." They both smile.

* * *

"Tomorrow's gonna be one of those days that memories are made of, Amy," Arnold sets his alarm clock to watch cartoons early. He runs over to his desk and puts it there. Arnold rubs his fist on his shirt with a smile. That night is windy as the leaves follow, Arnold's face in his pillow as his hair is a mess. Amy has a face mask over her eyes, with pigs on them. The force of the wind opens the window, the List knocking the alarm clock to the ground and breaking it into pieces.

Amy sits up in surprise, her face mask still on. She dismisses it and falls back onto her pillow, falling back asleep as one of the springs from the clock goes loose.

* * *

It's not until the bus horn goes by that the twins wake up. "What?!" Arnold sees the alarm clock. "Aw no, we're late!" He brings out Amy's clock with a rose on top to see that it's 6:45.

"How does that even happen?!" Amy exclaims as they rush out the room, fully clothed. Arnold tries to tie his shoe, Amy attempting to tie the bow in her hair.

"Okay, first thing on the List," Arnold runs past Amy and runs back, fixing her bow. "Sugar chunk cereal."

Unfortunately for Grandpa, there's nothing left of his cereal, which is the sugar chunk cereal. "Grandpa, did you eat all the cereal?" Amy asks.

"Huh? Oh, heck no. There's a whole nother box," he explains and Arnold opens it up...to find prune bran. It's the only box of cereal and he sighs.

"Well, at least it's cereal..." Arnold makes himself a bowl, turning to Amy. "You want one?"

"You know what happened the last time I ate that cereal," she narrows her eyes.

"Sorry," he smiles sheepishly.

"I'll just have eggs..." She murmurs, grabbing an egg carton. "It's better than nothing."

Grandpa looks up as Arnold tries to pour himself some milk, but nothing comes out. "Pumpkin, let me handle those," Grandpa takes the eggs from Amy. "I'll make them just the way you like!"

"Thanks Grandpa!" Amy smiles, Arnold managing to find some milk. But when he tries to pour, blobs come out.

"Either that milk's gone bad or they got a new whole new way to sell cottage cheese," Grandpa murmurs, Amy cringing in disgust. "Well, better get to work on that fuse box. Here you go, Amelia," he hands her a plate of scrambled eggs mixed with cheese and ham, leaving. Arnold stares at his cereal, looking at the sugar chunk box. He lifts it up to his mouth, only to get crumbs. He frowns, looking at the List. He crosses off the first thing.

"Okay, we got cartoons now till Dance Craze," Arnold speeds over to the TV, jumping onto the couch. Amy jumps and lands next to him, eating her eggs. He turns on the TV.

"Mutant robots from outer space, spitting bacteria that eat your face-" Suddenly, the TV explodes, Amy and Arnold screaming.

"What? No!"

"You have to got be kidding me!" Amy exclaims in disbelief as Grandpa walks in, Arnold trying to work the TV.

"Hmm, I think I got the 220 mixed up with the 660..."

"No problem," Arnold and Amy run upstairs. "We'll use the upstairs TV."

"Good idea! Cept the power's out in the whole house." The door is heard closing and the twins run out the door.

"That's it, boys, one more step and you've got it." Grandma sits on top of a piano. "Good, we've reached the front door."

"Hey lady, it ain't gonna fit," one of the workers tells her.

"Oh, come on! Can't you turn it on its side or something?" While Grandma argues with them, Amy and Arnold run off. "There must be some way to get it in the house." The twins open a window, crawling out onto the sidewalk. "Come on, boys, let's think! No no no, let's take it to the bottom of the stoop and think a little bit."

"Let's see here. Play catch! Can do," Arnold reads. "I'll get my glove. Amy, you meet me in the park."

"Okay!" They run off in different directions.

* * *

Arnold meets Amy at the bench, smiling as he looks at the older kids playing. They see a lonely kid sitting in the park with a glove. "Hey kid!" He looks confused. "Yeah, you! Wanna play catch?"

"Okay!" He smiles and stands up, reaching out his hand. Arnold throws it to him and he smiles at it before running off.

"Hey! Come back here!" They chase after him.

"You can't just do that!" Amy screams.

"Get back here!" He crawls over the fence and when the twins crawl over, he's gone. They pant heavily, exhausted, Arnold groaning to himself.

"Psycho. I can't believe he just did that," Amy crosses her arms.

"Okay, so that didn't go so great. What's next on the list here?" Arnold takes it out as they walk back to get their bikes, Grandma still trying to get the piano inside the house through a window on the first floor.

"Take the heel, boys, take the heel! Don't be discouraged!"

"Come on, lady, face it. You're never getting the piano in this building," the lead worker calls out.

"We gotta get our bikes from the garage," Amy explains.

"Hey, relax, kids. We're just now taking a break," he ruffles Arnold's hair. He walks off to get their bikes, Amy giggling at Arnold's hair.

* * *

They sound exhausted as they drag their bikes up the hill, Amy's pink and Arnold's red. "The steepest...hill...in the city." Amy falls down in exhaustion, panting as she sweats. She lays her head down on the street, Arnold looking down at the sight. He smiles, the wind fixing his hair. "Come on, Amy."

She whines, slamming a fist on the street. "Noooo..."

"Oh, come on!" He retorts.

"Fine..." She gets onto her bike and they race off.

"Look out beloooooow!" As they speed, they're in high spirits...until their bikes get stuck in wet tar. "What's left? Go to the movie, sit through it three times." He looks at the change in his pocket. "Easy." They leave their bikes behind as they race around the corner to the movie theater. "Two tickets, please." The teenage girl presses the button, two tickets coming out as she keeps reading her magazine. Arnold rummages through his pockets, but doesn't find the money. "Huh?" He reveals a hole in his pocket. "Oh no!"

"That must've happened after you got off your bike..." Amy frowns.

"Please!" Arnold begs the girl. "Please, lady, let us in. We're having the worst day of our lives. And we gotta see this movie!" She retakes the tickets. "Please, we'll pay you back." He sinks to the floor, Amy sighing at him.

"Come on, let's just go home..." Amy murmurs dejectedly as they walk away. They pass by an open door and come back. They hear a scream from the film, glancing at the girl. The twins whistle innocently, smiling as she doesn't seem to care. They walk past her, speeding into the alley. Amy and Arnold walk down the stairs and into the theater.

"What's wrong, Billy?"

"Eh, I don't know. I'm having the worst day of my life."

They follow the voices down the hall. "Oh, isn't there anything I can do?" They burst through a door, finding themselves behind the screen of Mud Man's Revenge II. The crowd murmurs in confusion as the twins' shadows can be seen. Amy and Arnold manage to get to the projector room. Whoever was supposed to be looking over it is gone. Amy and Arnold peek through the window, but can't get a good view, looking up at the vent. They climb up the ladder, Amy crawling inside. Explosions and screaming can be heard, the panel under Amy and Arnold creaking. They both cringe at each other before falling into seats. They smile at the film...until it tears. Everyone complains in the theater.

"Ladies and gentlemen, due to technical difficulties, the theater must cancel all of today's screenings." Amy and Arnold stare in disbelief, contemplating what just happened.

* * *

"Greatest Saturday a kid ever had," Arnold scoffs as he reads the List. "What crock," he turns the paper into an airplane, making it fly away. The sun is starting to set as the twins sit on the roof.

"First we woke up late, there was no cereal, then the power went out, we got our ball stolen, then there's the tar, and lastly, the theater shut down...what rotten luck," Amy mutters bitterly.

They hear a piano, turning to see Grandma and the piano being lifted up to the roof as she plays. "What are you doing up here?" Arnold wonders.

"Well, we couldn't get the piano in the front door, through the window, so I have to keep it up here on the roof," she explains.

"That's terrible!" Amy frowns.

"No, that's wonderful! We're gonna have a piano on the roof!" She says happily, continuing to play. "Come on, Amelia and Arnold," she points to the seats next to her.

"No, Grandma," Arnold states as they get down safely. "We had a really rotten day and we just wanna sit here, relax, and do nothing."

"We should've done just that instead of that stupid list," Amy murmurs.

"Rotten day? Well, I got just one thing to say about that." She starts playing again. "When life gets you down, wearing a frown, don't look away, look up." A pigeon lands on their heads and they swat it away. "Cause memories true, come out of the blue, you know the way, look up. Come on, kids."

"Grandma, we're not really in the mood," Amy tells her.

"When skies are dark gray, things gone astray, don't hide away, look up. Take it!" They both sigh wearily.

"We had a bad day, nothing went right, we hate our dumb life, we're down," Arnold says, both leaning against the piano.

"When we're feeling under the weather," a red balloon floats by, and then another, "And the dark clouds are getting to you," Amy and Arnold look over the edge. "Your troubles light as a feather," A clown had hit a fire extinguisher, causing the balloons to fly away. "And soon you'll be seeing a bright patch of blue. Gotta look up, gotta be strong, you gotta take things as they come. Cause everything blue that happens to you, look up." The song cheers them up as they look at the balloons.

"Well kids? What do you say?" Grandma asks.

"One more time, Grandma," Arnold brings out her harmonica.

"Please?" Amy smiles, taking out her flute.

"Amelia, Arnold, you're pips." She starts playing and singing again, the twins playing their respective instruments. "There ya go!"

 **Haunted Train**

A train is pumping on the tracks, the smoke turning red...the Jolly Olly Man speeds away as Grandpa holds ice cream cones. He walks across the street, ducking from a football that Curly throws at Stinky. He hands Amy, Arnold, and Gerald ice cream and they take it, looking bored. "You kids finished playing Checkers?" He sits behind them.

"Yup. Crazy Eights, Slapjack, Go Fish, Old Maid, every board game in the house, and a crossword puzzle too," Gerald states, placing a hand on his cheek.

"We're bored, Grandpa," Arnold explains.

"Yeah, there's nothing to do," Amy whines.

"Bored?!" Grandpa exclaims, a train horn being heard. A train rolls by, Grandpa getting an idea as he looks at it. "Have I ever told you kids about the time I worked for the railroad?" They don't answer as they lick their cones, rolling their eyes as they expected a boring story. "And first heard the legend of the haunted train?" That gets their attention.

"Huh? No," they turn to him in interest, moving closer with their cones.

"40 years ago, old Engine 25 was heading for the station. The engineer went mad and drove his train off the tracks. They never saw him or the train again. Some say he drove it straight to..." Phil points down, the other kids nearby having gathered around. "You know."

"Midtown?" Arnold guesses.

"Downtown?" Gerald wonders.

"Off a cliff? That would be awesome if he did," Amy comments.

"All the way downtown, to the very most southern point!" Phil exclaims.

"You mean?" Arnold didn't even have to finish.

"That's right," Phil looks serious.

"Wow, he drove all the way to the South Pole?" Gerald wonders, Amy rolling her eyes as she continues licking her ice cream.

"No! He drove the train straight down, to the fiery underworld!"

"Wow..." The three say in awe.

"Every year on the anniversary of its last ride, Engine 25 comes back, the Mad Engineer on the throttle. He's on his way to the old train station to pick up unknowing passengers. These unsuspecting passengers are drawn onto the train by a blinding white light. It hypnotizes them, and a strong smell overpowers them. Some say it smells like rotten eggs, but I'll tell you what it is. It's the smell of..."

"Socks?" Sid cuts him off.

"No, fire and brimstone. Then they start to hear horrible ear splitting music! It shrieks and moans and sends a chill through your heart! It's not of this world. It's...inhuman. After the music, the train then enters...the zone of darkness!"

The kids all gasp. "In the zone of darkness, they can feel the heat from the flames, then the train comes to a complete stop. The doors open, and they are greeted by the red hot demon himself!" Phil gets up and begins entering the house, but then turns around. "You know what tonight is, don't ya? It's the 40th anniversary! I'd sure hate to be at the old train station tonight. Oooh! The one on 53rd past Lexington. You know, next to the tire shop there." He walks into the boarding house, the kids talking excitedly. Phil looks out from the window, snickering.

"Well, so much for being bored." He walks away from the window.

* * *

Later that day, Amy, Arnold, and Gerald are still sitting on the steps of the boarding house. Helga is jumping rope next to the steps.

"You think the stories are true, guys? I mean, our grandpa has been known to stretch the truth," Arnold states warily. Helga puts down the rope and walks over to the steps.

"I don't believe a word of it! I want physical evidence, infrared photography, ectoplasmic samples, physical energy fields! Ha!" She lists.

"I don't know, Helga," Amy shakes her head. "What if Grandpa's right? And besides, it's not like we can just borrow that stuff..."

"Some things can't be proved with scientific evidence," Arnold agrees. "It's a question of faith."

Helga rushes into Arnold's face. "Hooey!" Amy had to move back from her exclamation, a surprised look on her face.

"Well, I can understand if you're...scared," he narrows his eyes in a teasing way.

"Scared? I'm not scared!" She scoffs, jerking a thumb at herself.

"Okay, then meet us tonight at the old train station," he proposes, Gerald and Amy looking astonished.

"Huh?!"

"One hour after the street lights go off," Arnold suggests. Helga blinks before narrowing her eyes.

"You're on!" Helga and Arnold stare at each other competitively.

"O...kay then..." Amy murmurs.

* * *

Later that night, Arnold, Amy, Gerald, and Helga approach the old train station. They run across the tracks and into the station building. There is a small passage between large planks of wood covered with a cobweb. Helga is the first to go through, but gets the cobweb as well as various spiders in her hair. The rest of the gang walks through the old boarding platform. Helga doesn't notice the spiders until she looks down. She shakes them off, Amy getting a broom and twirling it, getting the webs and spiders off. A squeaking sound is heard in the tunnel. Gerald picks up a rock and throws it into the tunnel and a swarm of bats fly out and into the night. The group scatters for cover. Arnold picks up a wooden board and swings it to keep the bats away.

"Yup, no train, let's go!" Helga exclaims as she shields herself.

"Not so fast. We have to wait longer than thirty seconds," he retorts.

It's midnight, the clock striking twelve. Arnold sits on a crate, playing his harmonica in a 12 bar blues pattern. Amy pulls out her flute and begins playing with him, imitating the same pattern. Gerald snaps his fingers and starts singing the haunted train blues.

"They say he lost his mind, went crazy on that day. Ran his train right off the tracks and drove it straight to...Hey!" Helga just scowls, her arms crossed. "Where's the engineer? Been waiting all nite long. Better show up soon. Or I'ma have to say so long. Whoo whoooooo! Been waiting on the Haunted Train."

Helga begins growling, clenching her fists. She turns sharply to them. "That's it! I'm out of here! This is ridiculous! There is no haunted train, there is no mad engineer! And you three chuckle heads are driving me nuts!" At Helga's last line, a train horn is heard from the distance.

"And stop playing that harmonica and flute!"

"We're not playing them," Arnold states, as he's holding his instrument in his hand. Helga turns to Amy to see her tucking away her flute. The train horn sounds again, the birds in the station scattering. The station and tracks begin to vibrate as Helga, Amy, Arnold, and Gerald look surprised. Arnold peers down the tunnel and sees a black steam locomotive barreling towards the station. The engine has a 25 on the front of the boiler. The train thunders into the station past the group and stops at the platform. The group stares in awe at the locomotive's intimidating features, notably it's red glow from the cab and the steam shooting from the wheels.

"Engine 25!" They say simultaneously.

The door to the train opens and they're treated to blinding white light, just like in Grandpa's story. They appear to be drawn to the train. The four enter the car as creepy music from a theremin plays.

"The white light, it pulled us on!" Arnold whispers.

"We're the victims of forces we can't possibly comprehend," Helga whispers also, looking around.

They run to escape the car, but the door closes before they can get there. The train pulls away with the four on board. Helga sniffs the air.

"Ew, what's that smell?"

"Pssh, who smelt it dealt it," Gerald reminds.

"Gerald!" Amy hisses.

"It's not that smell, stupid," she retorts.

"Helga's right, it's more like..." Arnold doesn't finish his sentence and Helga takes another whiff.

"Rotten eggs! It smells like rotten eggs! It's one of the signs," she explains.

The train shakes and ear splitting music begins to play.

"Do you hear what I hear?" Gerald wonders.

"You mean that horrible ear-splitting and possibly inhuman music?" Arnold looks up.

"Then yes, yes we do," Amy says nervously.

Helga bites on her fingers nervously and then lets out a loud scream. She runs up and down the car. "We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!" She runs to the front to try and open the door. "I do believe in mad engineers! I do believe in haunted trains! I do, I do! Oh, why must I be cursed with such an inquisitive nature?" The lights begin to flicker and eventually go out entirely, plunging the group into darkness.

"Hey...the lights!" Gerald cringes nervously, the lights going out.

"The zone of darkness. The next stop is...you know," Arnold glances at Gerald.

"Uh, are you pointing down?"

"He is," Amy confirms.

Red pulsing flashes of light begin flashing through the windows, enough to illuminate the car. The lights flash and show Helga, a tall shadow figure standing behind her.

"This is it!" The shadow steps closer to her as she speaks. "I can feel the flames of the dark underworld blowing down the back of my neck!" The lights flash again and the shadow creeps even closer to her until it is directly behind her. A wheezing sound is then heard. Helga turns around and the lights flash one last time. A creepy face is illuminated by the lights. Helga screams and the lights come back on, revealing the shadow figure to be none other than Brainy.

"Brainy? What are you doing here?" Arnold questions.

"More importantly, how did you get here?" Amy wonders.

"Uh...I don't know," he shrugs. They stand there confused. Helga walks over to Brainy and grabs him by the back of his shirt. Gerald opens the side door and Helga throws Brainy out the door and into a muddy ditch. Helga closes the car door and after a few moments, fire appears outside the windows.

"I see it, I see the fire!" Gerald exclaims.

The group look out the window and observe several shadows walking through the fire while creepy music plays in the background. They are horrified.

"Wait, I got an idea!" Arnold walks over to the fire hose and brings it to the door.

"Ready...aim..." Helga starts, Gerald opening the door. The Fiery Demon appears. "FIRE!" Arnold and Amy fire the hose. The demon is actually a man wearing a hard hat who yells in surprise to be hit by water. The man falls to the ground and the twins stop the water.

"Hey, what did you do that for?"

The door in front of the car opens, an engineer walking through. "What are you kids doing here? Nobody's allowed on this train except for steel mill workers."

"Steel mill? We're at the steel mill?" Arnold asks, all of them turning to their right.

"Sure, where'd you think you were?"

"This train isn't haunted?" Gerald wonders.

"Haunted! Oh no, not that story again. This train is for the relief workers," the engineer explains.

"What about the smell?" Helga turns to him.

"Girlie, have you ever smelled a steel mill? It's the sulfur," he leans towards them. "Smells like rotten eggs, doesn't it?"

"And the lights?" Arnold questions.

"Lights? The lights in this car are always going on and off." He hits a light to demonstrate and it flickers.

"But the music, I've never heard anything so horrible," Gerald explains, looking around.

"It was like torture," Arnold adds.

"Worst music ever when you're on a train," Amy frowns.

"I thought my eardrums were going to explode," Helga states.

"Oh well, I guess some people don't appreciate the polka." He pulls out an accordion, demonstrating he was the one making the noise. "Okay, does that explain everything?"

"Yes," they answer sheepishly.

"Good, now let's get you kids on the right train. Geez," he walks away.

* * *

Grandpa is driving them home. "A fire extinguisher against the fires of the underworld, eh? Pretty good plan, Shortman and pumpkin."

"I think you set us up, Grandpa," Arnold turns to him teasingly.

"Yeah," Amy smirks. "Grandpa, you sly dog."

"Well, at least you weren't bored, were ya!" He confirms his trick.

"There is no haunted train," Arnold accepts this.

"Well, now I didn't say that..."

Grandpa's Packard zooms off in the distance, Brainy sitting on the rails next to the train tracks. At that moment, the real haunted train zooms by him, making Brainy the only kid to witness the true occurrence of the sight. Music begins to play, the front of the locomotive showing. The engineer appears playing his accordion and begins playing a song about the haunted train.


	9. Mugged and Roughin' It

Arnold and Amy are sitting next to each other on the bus, listening to their wakemans. They get off the bus, walking down the sidewalk. Suddenly, a teenage boy appears behind them from an alley, grabbing them and covering their mouths. He throws Arnold into the alley. The boy looks around for any witnesses before kicking a box. "Give me your money," he demands, still holding onto Amy.

"Okay," Arnold holds out coins. "All I have is change. Come on, man, let my sister go!" The thug snatches the money, seeing Arnold's bus pass in front of his feet.

"You got a bus pass?" He picks it up. "You're holding out on me, kid. And just for that, I'll take this!" He snatches Amy's stuffed bear.

"Hey, leave her alone, creep!" Arnold runs up to him, only to be thrown into the trash cans.

"Work on that attitude of yours next time, punk," he hisses, "Or you'll get worse." He laughs and Amy bites his arm. "OW!" She falls onto the ground and he holds his arm as he leaves. Amy runs up to Arnold, bending down to him.

"Arnold! Oh no," she frowns down at him.

* * *

Amy has managed to carry a bruised and battered Arnold home. "So, some punk kid jumped ya, eh?" Grandpa eyes Arnold.

"How big was this punk?" Mr. Hyunh demands.

"Big," Arnold simply answers.

"Big punk?"

"Big," Amy answers this time.

"Big, huh?!"

"Oh, simmer down, ya hot-headed looney. All they need to do is take one of those self-defense classes," Grandpa gestures to the two. "Learn themselves some of that Haiku."

"Buffalo steaks and beans tonight, compadres!" Grandma announces, wearing a white cowboy hat. "Gather around the chuck wagon and eat your fill!" She notices Arnold and Amy's mood. "Why the long face, tex and gal? You look like five miles of bad prairie!"

"Arnold and Amelia got mugged!" Mr. Hyunh explains, Grandma covering her mouth in shock.

"Yeah, some punk took his bus pass and knocked 'em flat! Even took Amelia's stuffed bear. Oh, what's the world coming to, I tell you?" Grandpa and Mr. Hyunh talk as Grandma examines Arnold and Amy. Arnold has a black eye and missing teeth while Amy has a bruise on her face.

"You're alright, Amelia and Arnold. I'll make you both some green tea and put you to bed," Grandma tells them.

"Yes, sleep is good idea," Mr. Hyunh agrees.

"That's okay, Grandma. We'll make ourselves some hot chocolate," Amy and Arnold stand up. "Goodnight," they leave.

"Goodnight, kids," Grandpa calls out. "See you in the morning. So, what do we do about this, Pookie?"

"Oh, I've got plans for Amelia and Arnold," Grandma reveals, thinking to herself.

* * *

The next morning, their alarm wakes them up. Arnold sits up with a yawn, Amy sliding down her ladder tiredly. They trudge to their door, walking down the stairs. Grandma suddenly appears out of nowhere, scaring them awake. She's wearing a karate outfit along with a blank belt. She bows to their confusion. "Morning, Amelia and Arnold."

"Grandma, it's early. What are you doing?" Arnold rubs his eyes.

"And why are you wearing that?" Amy murmurs tiredly.

"Self-defense training begins today," she explains.

"Self-defense training? What do you know about martial arts, Grandma?" Arnold wonders and she places her hands on their shoulders.

"Did I ever tell you of my years in the convent of Shanghai?" She asks. "Now was that before or after Tibet?" She unlocks a purple door. "Anyway, your training starts today." Their eyes widen at the sight.

"Wow." The room is completely like a Zen room, with circles in the sand and rocks standing up. They look around the room as they stand at the door.

"Enter, my children," They walk inside. "Uh uh, the shoes." They take off their slippers, joining Grandma as she sits down cross-legged.

"Okay, we're ready, Grandma," they sit down in front of her. "Where do we start?"

"Do we get to-"

"Shh," she takes a meditating pose. "Lose yourself. Fall into the limitless void," she instructs and they follow her actions. "Assume a state of relaxed, alertness." A fly buzzes into the room, landing on Arnold's nose. He tries to hit it, but slaps his nose instead. Amy laughs at him, stopping as Grandma catches the fly in her fist. "Be as the frog in the pond. He does not seek the fly. The fly comes to him. Now, try to snatch the fly out of my hand," she holds out the fly in her palm. Arnold tries to catch it, failing. Amy tries next, almost touching it, but misses as well. "When you can both snatch the fly out of my hand, your training will be complete." They stare at her, blinking.

The sun is starting to rise as they stand on the roof. Grandma does some katas as Amy and Arnold stand on the chimney. They're wearing the same outfits as her, but with white belts instead. She gestures for the two to try next and they end up falling in the chimney.

Arnold and Amy try again with the fly, missing once again. They watch as it flies away.

Grandpa lays down a wood plank in front of Grandma. She gives the twins a thumbs up before slicing the wood in half. She gestures to them as Grandpa lays out another plank. The two accidentally hit Grandpa with the end of the plank as it goes up and hits them on the head as well, knocking them down.

They don't snatch the fly again.

Grandma places a soda can on top of Grandpa's head as his hands are in his pockets. Grandma runs a short distance, turning back to them. She runs and jumps, kicking the can off Grandpa. He sighs in relief. Amy and Arnold run, jumping to kick his area.

Grandma hums as they sit in front of her. "Be the frog in the pond, Arnold and Amelia," she holds out the fly. They open their eyes, eyeing the fly. Amy holds up her arm, Arnold doing the same. The fly just stares at them. The tension was thick as time stood still until they catch the fly in their hands. They open their hands to reveal the squished fly guts in their hands.

"Ew," they look away in disgust.

* * *

Some friends and boarders have gathered around the garage of the boarding house to witness for themselves what the twins have learned. They talk excitedly amongst themselves before the door opens. Arnold and Amy are wearing black belts, Arnold's hair slicked back to fit into his mask. They step forward, bowing in front of Grandma. She holds up a board along with Grandpa. They eye it as their target, punching the boards in half. Everyone gasps in shock. They hold out cinder blocks, and they slice those too, leaving dust.

"Holy baloney!" Grandpa exclaims as everyone cheers and claps. They step up to soda cans, placing them on Harold and Sid's heads. They bow in front of him, the boys giving nervous looks. Grandpa shows a first aid kit behind the twins, but they still look nervous. The twins kick the cans off, everyone cheering louder. They bow again, Harold and Sid fainting behind them.

* * *

"So come on guys, spill it. How'd your grandma turn you two into martial arts machines?" Gerald wonders as they walk past a book store.

"We don't know," Arnold starts.

"She said something about how we must be as the frog in the pond. Next thing you know, we were kicking cans off the top of Harold and Sid's heads," Amy finishes, shrugging.

"I've never felt like this before. And I like it," Arnold states.

"I do too, but we should only use it as self-defense. I wouldn't want to go overboard," Amy explains.

"I said, what's in the bag?" They turn to see Eugene and Brainy getting bullied by three punks.

"Macaroons and Malabar's, mister," Eugene holds out the bag.

"Wrong answer, brush head, you can do better than that," the leader grabs Eugene by the shirt collar.

"Hey!" Amy calls out, hands on her hips.

"What do you want?" They drop Eugene.

"We want you to leave those kids alone," They step forward, Gerald staring at them in shock. "Fair warning. Don't make us use these," Arnold holds out his hands and they start to laugh. Amy looks at them, Eugene and Brainy just staring. With some kicks, the toothpicks in their mouths are cut in half. They look at each other before screaming, running off in fear.

"Wow," the others gather around the twins. "Look at that. That was great, Amy and Arnold! We had no idea!"

"Man, guys. Those hands and feet are lethal weapons," Gerald comments, the two staring at their hands.

"Yeah," Arnold clenches his fists. "When I run into that creep who stole my bus pass, I'm gonna get it back. Along with Amy's bear," he walks away.

"Wait, what?" Amy looks confused. "Arnold, when did seeking out the enemy ever solve anything?" They stare after him.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Gerald and Amy catch up with him. "This is all happening a little fast!" Arnold keeps on walking, Amy cringing at Gerald before she follows after her brother. "Man, last week he's getting mugged. This week he's Bruce Lee!"

* * *

"Hey you, yeah you," Arnold is practicing his threats in front of a mirror. "You talking to me? You talking to me?"

"No, I didn't say anything." Arnold turns around to see Grandpa doing the laundry.

"Don't you think this is too soon?" Amy asks as she leans against the wall, hearing the door close.

"There's nobody else here. You talking to me?" Arnold ignores her and she sighs, looking up at Gerald as he watches Arnold. "You talking to me?"

* * *

At school the next day, Arnold opens the doors, everyone staring at him. Amy cringes as she follows him down the hall. He pushes Eugene into his locker.

"I'm okay." Amy busts the door open. Arnold almost bumps into someone, preparing a stance. The kid screams, all the kids peeking to see what's going on. He bends down on his knees, Arnold walking past him. Helga holds a hand to cheek, her mouth open in shock. Amy looks at Arnold, bending down to help the boy with his books. To everyone else, it was like Arnold was a completely different person.

* * *

"What do you mean, I've changed?" Arnold asks his sister and best friend as they walk. Mrs. Vitello sees him, immediately closing her shop.

"That's exactly what we mean. You've changed. It's like you don't remember that self-defense is used for...well, self-defense. You can't just go around and randomly attack people," Amy explains. Gerald kicks a can and Arnold kicks it. It soars away, a cat meowing as the sound is heard.

"We're worried about you, man," Gerald turns to him.

"Look, we gotta go. Don't worry about me, okay? Come on, Amy," Arnold walks forward, Amy sighing as she follows him.

"Don't do all that ninja stuff, okay Bruce?" Gerald calls out.

"Relax. What could happen?" Arnold looks back at him, walking calmly until a man stands in front of them under the lamp lights. Arnold attacks him, everyone around gasping as the man's overalls and shirt fall in shreds, leaving him practically naked.

"Ew!" Amy looks away.

"I-I was just going to ask you for the bus stop," he starts to cry as he walks away. "Just the bus stop..."

"Who do you think you are, pushing him around?" They crowd around Arnold.

"Yeah! He just wanted to know where's the bus stop?" Arnold starts to panic, Amy hiding behind him. They start running away, the world seeming gray to Arnold. Suddenly, he sees Grandma, Grandpa, Mr. Hyunh, and Gerald speaking to him. They turn a corner, stopping as they see a dead end. The punk's shadow is on the wall, Arnold looking in fear. He runs off again, the twins sliding to a stop as the bus skids to a stop in front of them. They get into the bus, putting in a quarter. Grandma is sitting at the back, waving as she holds her purse.

"Sit down and tell me of your travels, tadpoles," she pats the seats next to her.

"It's over, Grandma," Arnold takes off his mask. "I'm giving up."

"Me too. I don't wanna abuse my skills and hurt someone who doesn't deserve it," Amy takes off hers as well.

"Giving what up?" She asks.

"This Bruce Lee crime life-style that I've been cultivating. All a big power trip," he wilts.

"How so?" She leans forward.

"I was just using it to show off. Then I went too far and made a big mistake. I just wanna forget about it," he explains.

"And I don't wanna end up like him," Amy jerks a thumb at him.

"Congratulations, kids!" She hugs them. "Now your training is complete."

"Huh?" Amy asks in confusion.

"I don't get it," Arnold states.

"Yes you do! It's the art of self-defense. Be as the frog in the pond," she starts.

"Do not seek the fly," Amy says in realization.

"The fly will come to you. You keep saying that, Grandma!" Arnold finishes, looking annoyed. "What do you mean?"

"You know," she simply answers.

"Is it simply that you don't go looking for trouble, cause that causes more trouble, but that it's okay to stand up for yourself and grab the fly when it comes to you?" Arnold guesses.

"Oh, something like that," she replies, Amy slapping her forehead. Someone else gets on the bus, holding Arnold's bus pass.

"Grandma, it's the kid who stole my bus pass and Amy's bear!" Arnold points.

"Chill, my children. Go with the flow," Grandma assures them.

"Hey, granny four-eyes. I like the purple hair," he laughs at her, Arnold and Amy clenching their fists.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones. Words are brittle chimes in a windstorm," she states.

"Gimme your purse, granny," he snatches her satchel.

"You can have it. It's just a purse, you know," Grandma waves this off while the twins glare at him. "For what are worldly possessions that we cannot have them with us?" He looks through her purse until he recognizes Amy and Arnold.

"Hey, I know you. You're the punk with the bus pass and the girl with the bear!" He points at them, showing the items. "Here they are, punks. You want 'em? Try and take them," he waves the items in their faces, tormenting them. They're suddenly reminded of their training, imagining the punk's face instead of the fly. He laughs at them, the fly's eyes replacing his own. Their hands just sit there until they take their things back, holding them up. He screams, his hair flying. The twins and Grandma smirk at each other. "Hey, no offense, guys. Y-You want them, take them."

"And the 65 cents," Arnold holds out his hand.

"Yeah, yeah, with interest. And here's your purse, ma'am," he hands Grandma her purse, running off the bus.

"Of course sometimes when your own personal space is violated, there are occasions to use the training," Grandma looks at them smugly and they watch the punk screaming his head off as he runs. The bus stops in front of the boarding house. "Let's go inside and I'll make us some green tea."

"Thanks. Maybe we'll just have hot chocolate," they walk inside, the herd of animals running past them.

 **Roughin' It**

Grandpa drives the Packard out into the forest. He decided that they were gonna go camping with Gerald. "You city kids don't know what real camping is! But this weekend, you're gonna find out! Sleeping under the stars, cooking wieners and beans under a campfire, making doody behind the tree like a big bear."

"Ew!" Amy sticks her tongue as Arnold looks outside the window.

"Wow...it's beautiful, Grandpa," he comments.

"Sure it's beautiful. Everything in nature is beautiful," he replies as he drives to the campsites. "Unless it's ugly."

"Come on!" The three jump out of the car eagerly. "Let's go jump in that lake!" Gerald points to his left.

"No, let's hike up that mountain!" Arnold points up.

"Let's make s'mores!" Amy says, clasping her hands.

"Not so fast!" Grandpa calls out. "First thing we gotta do is make camp."

"Make camp?" Arnold asks in confusion.

"Sure! Clear a tent space, chop firewood, haul water. There's a lot of work to do before you start having fun." The three wilt, Grandpa opening the door as all the equipment falls out.

* * *

Amy, Arnold, and Gerald drop a pail of water in front of the campfire, having finished everything. "Now can we swim and hike and catch some fish?" Gerald wonders.

"No, what do you think this is, a camping trip?" Grandpa closes the trunk. The three glance at each other in confusion as they thought this was a camping trip. "Can't go skywalking off without learning some basic survival skills," he waves them over and they follow. "Come on."

He takes them through a path. "When you're tracking, there are plenty of ways to tell if an animal's been by. Broken branches, footprints, even scat."

"What's scat?" Arnold looks puzzled.

"You know, scat. Droppings. Like what you're standing in." Arnold looks down at his shoes. "See?" He gives an unamused look.

* * *

The three are eating berries by bushes. "Now remember, only do this under adult supervision. Red and sweet are good to eat," Grandpa recites. "But I swear by the sonnet green will make ya vomit."

Arnold swallows his green berries. "I thought it was green and sweet are good to eat."

"No, I've been saying it all morning! Red and sweet. Red and sweet!" Grandpa reminds him.

"Excuse me for a minute," he runs off screen to throw up. Amy cringes, looking away as she and Gerald have been eating the red berries.

"You're vomiting, aren't you, Arnold?" Grandpa asks, Amy and Gerald sticking their tongues out.

* * *

"Now kids, if moss always grows on the north side of the tree, which way is camp?" Grandpa asks, patting a tree with moss on it.

"Umm...this way!" Gerald points forward, running off to be met with a skunk. "Huh? Nice skunkie," he backs away slowly as the skunk turns around. "Good skunkie." It sprays him in the face and his face falters. "Nature bites."

Grandpa snores loudly, farts being heard. He sleeps between Gerald and Arnold. Unfortunately for them, Amy brought an extra tent. And it was one person only. Arnold points his flashlight to his right. "Hey Gerald, you asleep?"

"You kidding?" Gerald sits up. "Mosquitoes, poison berries, Grandpa snoring? How am I supposed to sleep?"

"Yeah, I wish Grandpa hadn't eaten all those beans," Arnold waves a hand in his face. "And that Amy had a bigger tent..."

"At least it covers up the skunk smell," Gerald comments.

"That's it! Tomorrow morning we tell Grandpa we want out!" Arnold declares.

* * *

Gerald and Arnold step out the next morning, Grandpa making breakfast. Amy arrives with more firewood, seeing the sleepy looks on her brother and Gerald. The two glance at each other, not knowing how he'd react. "Grandpa, we have something to tell you," Arnold steps up to him.

"Wait till you have some flapjacks, cooked over open flame. Mmm, charred and tasty!"

"We wanna go home," Arnold crosses his arms, Amy cringing.

"Home?"

"We're tired of nature. We hate it!" Gerald explains.

"I don't," Amy murmurs, shifting her feet.

"What?!" Grandpa exclaims, standing up. "But you just got here!"

"Yeah, but we're cold," Arnold shivers.

"And dirty," Gerald looks at his shirt.

"And hungry," Arnold finishes.

"Well, you gotta get cold and dirty and hungry! That's the only way to camp!" Grandpa places his hands on his hips.

"You're just complaining because you don't see the bright side of it," Amy points out. "So what if you ate toxic berries or got skunk sprayed? Look around you!" She gestures to the trees. "It won't be so bad when you get the hang of-"

Rumbling and shaking suddenly interrupt her. They look in shock to see a large RV approaching. The RV knocks down a tree in the process. A table descends down from the side, a satellite lifts from the roof, and an awning appears.

"Those charmed chitty slickers! Ruining the wilderness for the rest of us..." Grandpa continues complaining as he walks away.

"It's a miracle...we're saved," Gerald says in bliss, Arnold clasping his hands. Big Bob Pataki, Helga's father, steps out.

"Here we are, girls. The great outdoors." Helga and Phoebe step out behind him.

"Say it ain't so, Gerald," Arnold shakes his head in dismay.

"Ha!" Amy smirks at him.

"Good parking, Dad. You ran over a tree," Helga crosses her arms.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey! The RV 2000 doesn't run over trees." Helga raises an eyebrow at Phoebe, not at all impressed. "It bends them with the patented bumperizer."

"Whatever. Come on Phoebe, let's go inside and watch some TV," Helga starts walking inside.

"Hey, while you're in there, pull some steaks out of the freezer, will ya?" Big Bob calls out. "We'll have steak and eggs for breakfast."

"Steak and eggs," Gerald laments.

"Helga, did you happen to observe the occupants in the adjacent campsite?" Phoebe jerks a thumb as Helga sips her drink. "None other than Amy, Arnold, and Gerald?"

"What?!" She exclaims, dropping the cup. "Arnold?! In the next campsite?!" She sags a little before changing her tone as to not look suspicious. "Uh, I m-mean, big deal. What do I care if Arnold's camping just a few yards away from me at this very moment?" She stands up. "I'll be in the toilet, Phoebe."

She whistles as she exits the RV, sneaking to a tree. She looks to see the three just sitting there. She moves to the right, Amy seeing her out of the corner of her eye. She gives a surprised look before pretending that she didn't see her.

"Oh, fate. Oh fortuitous, what a strange hand you've dealt me. Arnold, in my own campsite," she takes out her locket. "Arnold, the name itself opens hidden doors to my heart. And, he can never know," she wilts. "Unless...there's some way that I can be alone with him. Yes, maybe Amy can help me! Alone with my love in the wild," she bumps into a sign. "Ow." She shakes her head, looking up at the sign. "Ophelia's Overlook. What a better place to reveal my secrets of my soul." She runs back to the RV. "Hey, Phoebe!"

"Yes?" She appears at the door.

"Let's go for a walk," Helga suggests.

"Coming!"

They approach the three. "Well, well, well. What a surprise," she stands in front of them.

"Oh, hi Helga," Arnold replies as they look in boredom.

"You guys camping? Then where's your RV?" She teases, Amy raising an eyebrow at her. Helga winks at her and she falls silent, understanding her play.

"We don't have an RV, Helga. We use a tent," Arnold explains. "Well, two," he turns to Amy with a slight glare.

"Where do you keep your ice cream?" Phoebe wonders.

"Wait a minute," Gerald realizes something. "You guys got ice cream?"

"Technically, it's frozen yogurt. You know, one of those soft-serve machines, but hey, we're roughin' it," Helga crosses her arms.

"I wouldn't call ice cream, steak, TV, and technology roughin' it," Amy raises an eyebrow.

"Helga!" Big Bob calls out.

"Coming, Dad," She replies dryly. "Anyway, we better get back to camp. The steak and eggs are ready," she saunters away with Phoebe.

"Yeah, Jer, I'll be back in the office on Monday. Yeah, I brought all the high-tech camping equipment. The girls? Oh yeah, they're loving it. Which is great, cuz I'm breaking two birds with one stone," he leans away from their earshots. Testing the merchandise, and spending some quality time with my daughter Olga."

"Helga, dad," she reminds him.

"Yeah, Helga. Anyway Jer, see you Monday," he hangs up. "Well, you girls ready for some breakfast?"

Helga suddenly gets an idea, turning to him. "Say Dad, uh, those guys over there are in my class. And not that I really like either of them or anything, but I was thinking. They look kinda hungry. Maybe we should invite them over to eat."

"Huh? Sure," he hands her the breakfast. "Hey, guys! Come and eat! We got plenty!"

Gerald immediately abandons them, sitting across from Phoebe.

"We'll be right back, Grandpa," Arnold stands up.

"Okay, but you don't know what you're missing," Grandpa replies as he continues to make the pancakes.

"I'll stay here, cuz I'm loyal," Amy calls out, eating her pancake.

Gerald and Arnold eat as fast as they can, Arnold using both hands. "So Dad, I've been thinking about something else. Why don't we all go for a nice hike in the woods?"

"Huh?" Big Bob looks in surprise. "I thought you hated hiking."

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Helga wonders as she walks past him with more steak and eggs.

"Perhaps it was on the way here when you kept saying, 'I hate hiking, I hate hiking, I hate'-" Helga kicks her under the table. "Ow!"

"Come on, Dad, it'd be great. You'd be killing two birds with one stone," Helga offers, Big Bob giving a look of interest.

"Not a bad idea. Okay, it's a plan. Everybody who wants to go on a hike, say I."

"I!" Gerald, Helga, and Phoebe raise their hands. They all look at Arnold, who glances at his Grandpa. He felt like if he went, he'd be betraying his sister and grandfather. But then again, so far their experience hadn't gone out well. He looks to everyone else who have their hands raised. He reluctantly raises his hand.

"Okay...but only if Amy comes." If anyone should have a good time, it was her.

* * *

The five kids and Big Bob start walking. "Okay, I got the solar powered Facemister to keep me cool while I walk, Phoebe's got the computerized Pathfinder to blaze a trail, Helga's got my new Deluxe Fridge-o-pack chalk full of repackaged gourmet food." Helga is having a hard time carrying it on her back as it's bigger than her. Helga is watching TV using as a device on her wrist.

"Wow. Nature's a lot more fun when you're watching it on TV," Gerald comments.

"Why did I have to go again?" Amy murmurs to herself. They arrive at the top of the cliff.

"Well, here we are," he takes a photo of their surroundings. "Nothing like nature, eh? Now, how bout some lunch? Helga, pop open that Fridge-o-pack. Phoebe, turn off that beeper."

"The knob appears to be stuck, Mr. Pataki," she explains.

"Let me see that thing," he takes it from her, the button being taken off from his fingers. "Ah, cheap piece of junk. I'll sell thousands of 'em." He tosses the Pathfinder out. The TV watch suddenly starts glitching until it shorts out.

"Oh, man!" Gerald complains. "Just when nature was getting interesting, the TV goes out. Unbelievable."

Helga opens the Fridge-o-Pack to reveal rotten food. Most of the inside of the pack is green. "Dad, I think something went wrong with our lunch."

"Hmm, looks like the vacuum pack didn't seal."

"Eww," Phoebe and Amy comment as Helga looks up a bag of green mush.

"Gross!"

"Gimme that," Bob takes the bag from Helga. "Holy toledo, that's rank," he tosses the bag at a tree, the contents exploding onto the bark. "Well, at least there's one good way to get rid of faulty equipment on the trail," he tosses the fridge-o-pack off the cliff.

"Well, I guess that puts us in a predicament regarding lunch," Phoebe walks away, Helga clasping her hands as she looks at Arnold.

At last! Alone with my love in the wild. She swoons out loud, Amy giggling.

"Well, let's get back to camp and eat. We still got some steaks in the freezer," Bob turns around, Phoebe and Gerald following him.

"Criminy!" Helga facepalms as Arnold follows them.

"Come on, Helga," Amy calls out.

"Alright..."

* * *

"Daaaad, shouldn't we be getting near camp soon?" Helga complains as they walk down a steep path.

"Yeah. Wish I still had that Pathfinder, though. And now that the sun's going down, it's getting kinda cool up here," he rubs his arms. "Maybe I should turn off this mist-" he attempts to turn it off, but it shocks him, knocking him back into a tree. They all call out to him as they rush over.

"Are you okay, Mr. Pataki?" Phoebe asks in concern.

"Am I okay?! Look at me!" They recoil at his outburst. "The food's gone, my neck's burned, the tech doesn't work, and to top it all off, we're lost!"

"Lost?! I thought you knew where we were!" Helga shouts in panic.

"I've been totally lost since we saw those signs in Spanish," he explains.

"WHAT?! We're all gonna die!" Helga yells, freaking out.

"Actually, Amy, Gerald, and I can get us back," Arnold speaks up. "Grandpa taught us how to follow trails. All we gotta do is retrace our steps and we'll be back in no time!"

"But if I don't eat something in a minute, I'm gonna keel over," Bob laments. Arnold looks around before seeing some bushes.

"Hey, aren't those the same kind of berries Grandpa pointed out?" Arnold runs over to them, eating some.

"Yeah, red and sweet are good to eat!" Gerald remembers.

"Thank God these were here," Amy says, smiling as she starts to eat.

"You kids are crazy. You can't eat stuff that's just growing outside!" Bob protests as the other girls look on.

"I must admit, I admire Gerald's survival skills," Phoebe says bashfully. Helga smiles at Arnold, impressed.

"Moss grows on the north side of the tree," Arnold notes as they come across a tree.

"We're on the right track," Gerald points forward. They approach an intersection, Amy glancing around. She sees a broken branch. She waves them forward. Gerald and Helga drag Bob, Phoebe fanning him. The twins look at a rock.

"Camp should be right...there!" He reveals the RV behind a tree branch. They all cheer. Bob hollers, standing up and running. "We better follow this path around because-"

"Forge the path, kid! Camp's right there!" Bob pushes past them. "Juicy steaks, here I come! Oh, civilization, I missed ya!"

"We were gonna say because that's poison ivy," Amy explains, Grandpa laughing as they appear.

"Well, about time you showed up. Have a good hike, kids?" He's tending to the campfire.

"No," Amy huffs, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, once we got lost and got rid of all that high-tech stuff," Arnold sits down. "And don't say it," he gives Amy a look as she smirks in amusement.

"I won't...but I won't let you live it down, either."

"We found our way back here because of everything you taught us, Grandpa," Arnold finishes.

"Eh, is that so?" Grandpa wonders in amusement.

"Grandpa, can we stay one more night and camp out the old-fashioned way?" He looks at him, considering it.

"Oh, give a home where the buffalo roam, and the deer and the antelope play," the girls, Arnold, and Gerald join in, toasting marshmallows.

"This is more like it," Gerald comments.

"Who wouldn't love camping on a night like this?" Helga makes their marshmallows connect. Bob sits outside, covering in bumps.

"Stupid bugs," he hits one behind his back. "Poison ivy. Oh, sunburn. Oo, oo," he scratches himself, in pain while the others enjoy themselves.


	10. Door 16 and Twins as Cupid

Outside the boarding house, pigeons gather around boxes. The dry-cleaning truck drops off a cleaned coat and hat. The twins open the door, wearing their bathrobes. Amy and Arnold pick up the newspaper, milk, and clothes, walking into the kitchen. Arnold opens the fridge, putting the milk inside. Amy closes the fridge. A security camera watches them as they walk down the hall. Arnold knocks on the door and a slot opens from underneath the lock, revealing a keypad. Arnold puts in the code and a part of the wall slides out in front of them, a rod in front of them. Arnold puts the coat on the rack, Amy placing the hat on the ball. The compartment slides back into the wall, a claw dropping something in front of them. Arnold catches the paper, which has a note from the ever mysterious and private Mr. Smith.

 _Thank you, Amelia and Arnold._

Ernie, Oskar, and Mr. Hyunh wait in agony as Grandpa is in the only bathroom available. They also have to listen to him singing. "I hate this traffic jam every morning!" Oskar complains.

"Hey, 13 boarders, one bathroom. What do you expect?" Ernie points out, the twins appearing from behind.

"What about Mr. Smith? He has his own private shower!" Oskar explains. "And a great big split-level suite! I don't like him!"

"He thinks he's better than us. With his fancy clothes and chipping head," Mr. Hyunh brings up.

"Tip, tip, tip," Ernie points out to the twins. "Guy's lived here three years and he's never said a word!"

"Well, he's just a very private person, Mr. Potts," Arnold tries defending.

"Yeah, he just wants to be alone," Amy tells them.

"Yeah, that's what they all say! Hey Gramps, you drowning there or what?" Ernie knocks on the door as the twins walk away.

* * *

"Mr. Smith, breakfast coming," Arnold says into the intercom as Amy holds a plate of eggs, bacon, and bread with jam on it. She places it inside and Arnold presses the button. The plate lifts up the shaft, disappearing.

"Boy, that Mr. Smith really bugs me," Ernie crumples up his newspaper as he sits at the table. The plate comes back down empty, a burp being heard.

"Yeah, and he eats too fast," Oskar points out.

"Special room, special meals delivered, special own shower! Special everything!" Ernie throws down his fork.

"Who does he think he is?" Oskar asks, irritated.

"Well, he does pay extra, Mr. Kokoshka. Extra and on time," Arnold tells him.

"We shouldn't be gossiping about him. He's a good boarder," Amy explains, Mr. Hyunh peeking into the slot.

"Amelia, Arnold, Mr. Smith is very odd," he voices as the painting slides down to cover the slot. Arnold silently rolls his eyes as he and his sister continue to eat their breakfast. "He's creepy. He gives me the creepies."

"Oh come on, Mr. Hyunh. He's just a regular guy! Like the rest of us," Arnold explains. They hear an oink, the animals standing up as the same height as someone in a trench coat and hat. They all stare at the sight, the man lifting his hat and walking down the stairs. The door is heard opening and then closing.

"Yeah, he's regular, alright. Real regular," Ernie retorts, the three men continuing to talk about him. Amy and Arnold stand up, walking to the door as a knock is heard. They open it to see a man in a suit and tie, holding a box.

"Package for Mr. Smith."

"He's not here," Arnold tells him.

"Can I trust you two to give it to him?"

"Sure," they take it.

"It must be delivered right into Mr. Smith's hands. Nobody else can open it. Understand?" He slides it to him.

"Yes, sir. Don't worry, you can count on us." They look up to see the man gone. The twins glance at each other before walking inside.

"Hey, uh, by any chance is that from the Toupee of the Month Club?" Ernie asks, pointing at the package.

"No. Something for Mr. Smith," Amy explains, the three men stopping in their tracks.

"Oh, really? Smith, eh?" Ernie stands up, a sly grin on his face.

"He's never got a package here before," Oskar says suspiciously, reaching out to it, but the twins snatch it away from his reach. "What kind is it?"

"Plain brown paper, plain string, pretty ordinary," Arnold explains as he looks at it.

"Too ordinary, if you ask me," Oskar says, the others surrounding the two. "I wonder what's in it." He tries to take it, Arnold moving away.

"Hey! This is Mr. Smith's private property!" Arnold defends.

"You can't just take it from him! That's wrong!" Amy finishes for him.

"That guy's a freak! Gimme that!" Ernie tries next, Amy standing in front of him. They move away from their grasps, walking away.

* * *

Arnold stares down at the package in their room, Amy eating a snack. A knock is heard. "We told you, we're not giving you the package!" Arnold yells defensively.

"It's me, Gerald."

"Oh. Amy, can you get that?" Amy slides down the ladder, walking to the door and opening it for Gerald as Arnold covers the package. Amy peeks around for anyone else.

"So, I hear you got a package for that secret guy, Mr. Smith," he says.

"Yeah, and we alone have been shouldered with the weighting responsibility of its safety," Arnold explains reluctantly.

"Cool. Let's open it," Arnold lifts off the sheet.

"No way!" Amy tells him.

"Why not?" Gerald places his hands on his hips.

"Gerald, it belongs to Mr. Smith," Arnold points out, a hand on his hip.

"Yeah, and I bet there's something really weird in there," Gerald comments, none of them noticing Ernie crawling on the glass roof above them. He pulls out a screwdriver, starting to unscrew one of the screws. "Come on, let's open it." Ernie lifts the window pane.

"I don't know, Gerald-" Ernie laughs, interrupting Amy and revealing himself before he loses his balance, falling backward. "We've gotta get this package to Mr. Smith, no matter what. The other boarders keep being nosy. Come on, boys."

Gerald hands Arnold the package as he gets down from the ladder. "Let's see. What do we know about Mr. Smith?" Arnold wonders.

"Arnold, we know nothing about Mr. Smith," Gerald points out as they start walking.

"Well, we know he always wears one of those weird bowler derbies. Now where do they sell bowler derbies?"

"For someone who's lived in our home for three years, he hasn't really said much about him," Amy murmurs to Gerald.

"Well, the only place I know is Toller's Bowlers on 44th," Gerald explains.

"How do you know that?" Arnold stops in his tracks, glancing at him.

"That's where my man Fuzzy Slippers gets them," Gerald places his hands on his hips.

"So...let's go!" The three take off.

* * *

They cross a light, arriving at Toller's Bowlers. "Okay, I distract the guy, telling him I'm looking for a bowler derby," Arnold starts.

"Right," Amy and Gerald whisper. "Meanwhile, we sneak a look at his rolodex and see if we can find anything on Smith."

"Right!" Arnold agrees.

"Wait a minute, why would three kids be looking for a bowler derby?" Gerald brings up.

"He has a point," Amy shrugs in uncertainty. "It seems a little silly."

"I got an idea," Arnold grins at them.

"Right. What is it?" The two lean in and he tells them.

"Okay."

"Okay."

The door opens, the salesman quickly turning to Arnold, who is on Gerald's shoulders. "Hello, old chap. How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for a hat," Arnold disguises his voice. The salesman moves something to behind his desk.

"Well, you've hit the motherload. Uh, now 'bout this one?" He holds out a black bowler derby with a red stripe around the rim. Arnold glances to the side, seeing the rolodex on the desk. "Or this one?" Arnold smiles widely, bumping the coat a little. Amy crawls out of the coat and to the desk. "Ah, this one is perfect for the particularly rare shape of your head," the salesman hands it to him. Arnold tries it on. "You look smashing, old boy."

"Why, thank you. But actually, old chap, I'm looking for something rather more like...that one," Arnold points to the top of the shelf.

"Oh, all the way up there, sir?"

"Yes. The one with the feather, if I may, old chap."

"Okay, up there, then?" The salesman takes a deep breath. "Right. Good." He grumbles to himself as he pushes a long ladder.

"There it is!" Gerald whispers. "Arnold, hang onto that pipe for a second."

"Huh?!" Arnold gives a surprised look. "What are you, nuts?!

"It'll just be a second. Amy, got anything yet?" Gerald whispers as Arnold holds onto the pipe, the salesman glancing at him for a split second.

"No," Amy shakes her head.

"Slander, Salami, Sloan, here it is. Smith!" Amy hands him a pen as Gerald takes a notebook, writing down the info.

"Come on, guys!" Arnold calls out to them. "Step on it!" They get back underneath the coat, Arnold letting go of the pipe.

"Here's the bowler, sir-whoa, no!" The salesman loses his balance and falls to the ground, the other hats falling down on him. He lifts his head up. "Maybe I could have another job." The three leave.

* * *

They stand in front of where the address led them, Satellite Industries. "Are you sure?" Arnold turns to the two.

"Absolutely," Gerald looks at him.

"234 Smith Avenue," Amy cites in memory. "Satellite Industries?"

"Sounds like the name of a covert cover operation for the CIA. I knew it!" Gerald comments. "He's a spy, man. I told ya!"

"Come on," Arnold walks inside, Amy and Gerald walking with him. A receptionist sits at the far opposite side, a picture of what looked like an abstract picture of Mr. Smith himself above her. They walk up to the lady, who places down her book.

"Yes?"

"We have a package for Mr. Smith," Arnold holds out the box.

"Which Mr. Smith?"

"You mean there's more than one?" Amy's eyes widen.

"That's right. There's John Smith, John Smith Sr, John Smith Jr, John Smith the Third, John Smith Esquire, John Q Smith, John Smith Smith, John John Smith-"

"Don't you have any plain Mr. Smiths?" Arnold interrupts as Amy sinks a little, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry, that information is classified," she explains.

"Now suppose I were to tell you I don't buy that, lady," Gerald points a finger at her. "What do you say to that, hm?" He growls a little. She gives a blank look, pressing a button. The three are kicked out by security.

"Sheesh!" Arnold rubs his head.

"Well, this has been fun," Gerald deadpans. "We've been on a wild goose chase, halfway across the city, and we still have no idea how to find that Smith guy!"

"We're not giving up, Gerald. We're handing this package to Mr. Smith if it's the last thing we do," Arnold narrows his eyes in determination.

"We were trusted with this, Gerald, we can't back down," Amy explains.

"Guys, it's hopeless! Do you know the chances of us finding one specific person in a huge city? A billion to one! You hear me? A billion to one!" Gerald points out.

"Have a good day, Mr. Smith." Their eyes widen as they look to see Mr. Smith himself entering a cab.

"Or less," Gerald finishes, the three running after the cab. They call out to him, but the cab is already away from their voices. A bus pulls up next to them and they let someone leave before running inside. The three place in their change, turning to the bus driver.

"Hurry, follow that taxi!"

"Behind the yellow line while the bus is in motion and get your package out of my ear," he deadpans and they sit down behind him, sighing. Their eyes widen as they look out the window, seeing the taxi coming to a stop. Arnold pulls the string and the bus immediately stops. They get off, calling out.

"Mr. Smith, we have a package for you!"

"Hey Mr. Smith!"

"Mr. Smith, come on!"

He doesn't hear them as he walks, the three following on the opposite side. The kids couldn't cross because of the moving cars between them and Mr. Smith. They continue to follow him until he's suddenly gone from their sights.

"Look!" Mr. Smith enters a helicopter and it flies away.

"Man! That guy is unbelievable!" Gerald comments in disbelief.

"Okay, that's it," Arnold gives an annoyed look.

"Eh, let's just open it and get it over with," Gerald says, the twins looking up at them. They stare at it before touching the string. "Come on, guys. No one will know. We can just tape it back up afterwards." Amy sees Arnold sweating, looking towards the people walking past them.

"I don't know..." Amy murmurs.

"We just can't do it, Gerald," Arnold turns to him. "Let's take the package and go home," they start walking.

"What about the boarders?" Gerald wonders.

"Eh, they've probably forgotten about the whole thing by now," Arnold explains.

"At least, we hope so anyway," Amy comments.

* * *

That night, weird noises can be heard from inside. Arnold, Amy, and Gerald walk inside. They look inside the kitchen to find a hog-tied Grandma and Grandpa!

"Grandma, Grandpa, are you alright?" Arnold loosens the gag off Grandpa and he spits it out. He starts muttering nonsense.

"What did you do with my dentures?! Run, kids! Run!" Arnold takes the package, Ernie and Oscar appearing in the doorway.

"There they are!"

"Get them!"

Arnold throws up the box over their heads, Gerald catching it. He runs to the stairs, the twins following him. Gerald slips on the carpet, the two helping him up. They run down the hallway until they approach a dead end. They look in horror at the approaching boarders. Arnold looks up and pulls down the stairs. He pulls Gerald and Amy, but the package's string breaks off, falling. Gerald catches it, but Ernie grabs it. Arnold and Amy try helping him by pulling his legs, Mr. Hyunh pulling on his afro.

"Hey! Watch the hair!"

"You guys are savage!" Amy exclaims in disbelief.

"Get it!" With the combined strength of the four, they pull the three off the stairs. They look in shock as the four tear the package apart.

"You guys, what are you doing?" Arnold asks, as the package is nearly destroyed. "You guys are acting like animals! Well, whatever it is, you ripped it." Arnold and Ernie pick up pieces of paper. They gather around as they bring the pieces together to reveal a picture of all the boarders at the dinner table, 'My Family' as the inscription.

"My Family? That's so sweet!" Oscar laments.

"I feel like a real heel," Ernie comments, someone knocking at the door. The three run downstairs to open it, the others following.

The same man from before holds another package. "Package for Mr. Smith. Can I trust you two to give it to him?" They both gasp before they both let out a scream at the top of their lungs.

 **Twins as Cupid**

"Oh, Oskar! How can you ask me for more money? What happened to the 200 dollars I gave you yesterday?"

"What 200 dollars?" Oskar asks innocently.

"You know very well what 200 dollars!"

"Oh yeah, I remember some guys, they robbed me on the subway," he lies. Arnold and Amy can hear them arguing in room 5, annoyed looks on their faces as they try to work on a project for school.

"That's not true!"

"Okay, I lost it."

"Ugh, Oscar," the door opens and Oskar is pushed out of the room. "Oskar, I've had it. Things aren't working out between us. I want you out!"

"But Suzie, no, I love you," he protests. She throws a bag at him.

"You love yourself, Oskar! I'm just second place." Amy sighs a little, rolling her eyes. Frequently, the two always argued, and the subject was always the same. Oskar borrowing money or him being selfish.

"What's wrong with second place? That's pretty good," he explains, Amy facepalming.

"Well, it's not good enough for me! I'm changing my life, Oskar. I'm sticking up for myself. I'm tired of your excuses and your lies. From now on, I'm gonna make it on my own." She slams the door, the project falling onto the table. Arnold growls, Amy clenching her fist.

"Suzie, what about me? Where am I going to sleep?" He asks himself. She opens the door again, throwing a pillow at his face and a teddy bear. He sighs at his situation.

* * *

He tries room 7, Ernie opening the door. "What do you want?"

"Listen Ernie, you're not gonna believe this, but Suzie kicked me out. Can I stay in your room tonight?" Oscar explains.

"Sure Oskar...just as soon as you pay the 20 bucks you owe me since Christmas!" He slams the door closed, Oskar giving a look of shock. He gives a look of dismay before he tries room 3. Mr. Hyunh opens it.

"Hey, Mr. Hyunh. How's my Vietnamese-American good buddy, huh?" He chuckles before getting to the point. "Listen, Suzie kicked me out, and I need a place to stay."

"You cannot stay here! You are not a good person! Not a good person at all!" He shuts the door.

Amy opens the door to Oskar standing at the stairs. "Amelia, Arnold!"

Both of the twins are in their pajamas. "Oh. Hello, Mr. Kokoshka."

"Oh no," Amy murmurs, moving away from the door.

"Call me Oskar. I can't believe how handsome you're getting or how beautiful Amy's getting! The way your bodies are growing to match the unusual shape of your heads! You must have all the boys and girls after you," he walks in, Amy looking at herself in a mirror in confusion.

"Well, we don't know about that."

"Sure they are! You must have sweethearts, huh?" He chuckles his signature laugh, Amy blushing as she squeaks quietly.

"Well, not exactly."

"W-Well, I don't pay attention to stuff like that...Oskar," Amy murmurs.

Helga sits in her bedroom closet, looking at her shrine at Arnold. She flicks the lights on and off as she looks on lovingly.

"Listen Amelia and Arnold, I need a place to stay for a few days," he puts his bag on Amy's bed.

"The room's kinda small," Arnold points out.

"It's hard enough sharing a room like this with Arnold," Amy explains.

"Thanks twins, you're good kids," Oskar sits on Arnold's bed. "Your grandma and grandpa must be very proud of you. I'll take the bed tonight, we can all trade off tomorrow," he gets into Arnold's bed and falls asleep.

"But Mr. Kokoshka, we don't know about this and we-we have to get some sleep!" Arnold protests, but Oskar snores, not listening.

"Ooo," Amy growls, clenching her fist. "It's a good thing he doesn't have kids, because I wouldn't be able to deal with another person like him!"

"Oh well," Arnold closes the door. "It's only for a couple of days. Go take your bed back, Amy," Arnold pulls out the remote and the couch appears from the wall. Amy sighs in defeat and climbs the ladder to her bed. She gives an annoyed look at the bag before pushing it off onto the floor. Arnold goes to their closet and takes a blanket from the top shelf. He uses Oskar's pillow as he lays down on the couch, Amy covering herself in her sheets. "Sweet dreams, Mr. Kokoshka."

"Thank you, Arnold," he calls out, which meant he could hear them the whole time. Arnold opens his eyes, annoyed.

* * *

"Arnold, Amelia, wake up, you sleepyheads," Oskar says and they rub their eyes. "Time for breakfast. Look, French toast and fresh squeezed orange juice. I even put cinnamon in it for you, Amy," he hands them trays.

"Wow, gee. Thanks, Mr. Kokoshka," Arnold looks up at him.

"Yeah, this is really nice of you," Amy says in surprise, having a slightly different opinion of him now.

Ernie turns around to the table, putting his hands on his hips. "What happened to my French toast and orange juice?"

"Oh, this is really great. Thanks. By the way, what time is it?" Arnold comments, since they have school.

Oskar looks at his watch. "10:30."

"WHAT?! 10:30?!" They place down their breakfast, Amy bending down slightly as Arnold runs over. "But our alarm! What happened?"

"I turned it off so it wouldn't wake me up," he explains. Arnold picks up the clock.

"We have to get to school!" Amy jumps down from her bed, running into the closet.

"Oh man!" Arnold mutters, throwing his clothes on while Amy doesn't look. Arnold closes the door behind him while Amy changes, grabbing his book. "We gotta go."

Amy bursts out of the closet. "See you later!" She runs down the stairs behind Arnold, leaving Oskar all alone. He walks over to Amy's bed and eats her breakfast.

* * *

The twins try to study later that night as a saxophone can be heard. Arnold turns around, annoyed as Amy grunts. "Mr. Kokoshka, would you mind playing your saxophone some other time? We have to study for a test."

"But guys, I have to practice," he protests.

"We don't care. We have to study," Amy glares at him from her bed.

"Amelia, Arnold, be reasonable. Can't we at least compromise? I'll practice now, you two can study tomorrow." He continues playing.

"But Mr. Kokoshka, our test IS tomorrow!" He angrily groans while Amy grabs a pillow, screaming into it in frustration.

* * *

Arnold and Amy walk into their room after school is over, looking exhausted. "Oh twins, good to see you. How did your test go?" Oskar asks, peeling an orange.

"Not so good," Arnold answers, glancing at him.

"That's too bad. You should have studied." They give wide-eyed looks, Amy giving a look of disbelief. They hear a noise, glancing at him again. "I'm making smoothies."

"Mr. Kokoshka, this isn't working out," Arnold calls out, but Oskar can't hear him over the blender.

"What?"

"This isn't working-" Amy is interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Oh Amelia, Arnold, I forgot to tell you. I'm having friends over to play cards," Oskar explains. They open the door to two sketchy people.

"Heh heh, hello Oskar, you old goat."

"How's it going, guys?" Oskar greets them.

"Hey, nice place."

"Make yourselves at home. Mi casa es su casa!" He tells them, Amy opening her mouth in disbelief.

* * *

"Come on you bum, let's go."

One of them laughs, Arnold glancing at them in annoyance. Amy sighs in anger, going back to her book as she sits on her bed.

"Heh heh, it's folded to you, Oskar."

"Okay, I say...go fish!" He laughs again.

"Gimme a break," Arnold mutters to himself.

"Oh brother," Amy whispers, putting headphones over her ears.

"Come on Oskar, it's your bet."

"Okay, I raise you 50," Oskar offers.

"Oskar, you don't have any chips left."

"Don't worry," Oskar takes something from behind him. "I bet this CD player for collateral."

Amy and Arnold scream as they look, running up to the group. "Mr. Kokoshka, that's ours! Amy and I saved a lot of money to get this!"

"Don't worry, twins. I can't lose!"

* * *

They look up at the ceiling, Amy fuming. "I can't believe I lost."

"Yeah, who would've thought you'd lose with a pair of threes?" Arnold asks angrily.

"Eh, it's no problem. I'll win it all back next week when the gang comes over," he dismisses.

"Well, actually, we've been meaning to talk to you about that. We think it's time you thought about another place to live. This room isn't big enough for-" Amy is interrupted by snoring and they both look to see him sleeping in Arnold's bed. Amy groans, putting her face into a pillow. "We're never gonna get him out of here...I want my room back..."

Arnold looks at her knowingly, feeling the exact same way.

* * *

"We're telling you Gerald, he's driving us crazy!" Arnold says as they're dropped off after school.

"I feel for you two, man," Gerald replies in understanding.

"He snores a lot, he HAS to play the saxophone," Amy lists, counting on her fingers.

"No wonder his wife kicked him out," Gerald comments, Arnold dragging his bag.

"We wish we could get him to leave," Arnold says.

"Yeah, too bad you can't get him back together with his wife," Gerald points out, the two stopping in their tracks as they get an idea.

"Hey, wait a minute. That's it! We're gonna get Mr and Mrs. Kokoshka back together!" Arnold explains.

"I don't know, guys. Messing with grownups' love problems is a dangerous thing," Gerald warns them.

"Maybe, Gerald, but we gotta do it. We gotta get our room back!" Arnold tells him.

"It might be our only chance!" Amy calls out as she runs off, Arnold following her.

* * *

They sit on the couch in Suzie's room, sipping lemonade that she offered them. "Aw come on, Suzie. Don't you miss him sometimes?"

"No," she admits, looking at her fingernails. "In fact, I haven't thought about him at all since he left."

"Well, he's thought about you," Arnold fibs, since this was part of their plan.

"He has?" Suzie gives a surprised look, since to her, that didn't sound like Oskar at all.

"Oh, sure!" Amy grins nervously. "He talks about you all the time, can never get him to shut up about it."

"He does?" Suzie blinks slowly.

"Yeah! In fact, he wanted me to ask you if you'd, uh, have dinner with him tonight under the stars," Arnold walks a few feet away. "On the roof," he turns to her.

"On the roof?" She stands up, a hand on her heart. "Oh, that's so romantic."

"Should we tell him you'll be there?" Amy asks expectantly. She thinks about it as she places a finger on her chin.

"Well, alright," she eventually agrees. "Dinner under the stars? Doesn't sound like Oskar," she walks them to the door.

"Well, he's a changed man," Arnold tells her with a smile, closing the door.

* * *

"Come on, Mr. Kokoshka. It's just dinner," Amy protests. Oskar is clipping his toenails on Amy's bed.

"Forget it, Amelia and Arnold. She kicked me out and as far as I'm concerned, it's over," one of the toenails fall on Amy's pillow and she makes a silent note to burn everything.

"Mr. Kokoshka, she really wants to see you," Arnold explains.

"She does?" Oskar looks up at them.

"Yeah. She said she missed you," Amy looks away, rolling her eyes.

"Well that makes sense. I'm a really likeable guy," he laughs, a toenail flying.

"How on Earth did she get stuck with him?" Amy mutters to herself in disbelief.

* * *

Amy and Arnold set up dinner, Suzie and Oskar sitting across from each other as there's tension in the air. They don't speak, Suzie wearing a red dress with ¼ sleeves, red lipstick, red heels, a pearl necklace, and pearl earrings. Oskar wears a suit and tie, their appetizers on the table. Arnold brings over a salad for Oskar. Both of the twins are wearing aprons over their clothes, Amy's tied around her waist.

"She hates me," he tells him.

"Say something nice to her," Arnold whispers. He sighs to himself.

"You know Suzie, in the moonlight you can barely see that big stain your good dress." She looks down at herself, narrowing her eyes.

"I wouldn't have a stain on my dress if you hadn't used it to polish your shoes," she points out.

"Oh sure, blame it on Oskar! Everything's always my fault!" He argues.

"If the shoe fits," she cites, crossing her arms.

"See?" Oskar gestures to her as Amy holds a pitcher of water.

"I've got an idea," Arnold starts as Amy pours water for him. "Why don't you two dance?"

"What?" Oskar gives them a look of disbelief.

"Hmph! Oskar hasn't danced with me in years. Besides, he's got two left feet," Suzie explains.

"Two left feet! What is it with all the foot metaphors? I'll show you dancing!" He replies arrogantly.

"Grandma?" Arnold points forward, Grandma starting to play the piano. Amy and Arnold have organized a band for the dinner out of the Sunset Arms boarders. Mr. Hyunh plays the cello, Ernie plays the accordion, and Grandpa is the conductor. Arnold smiles at him, Amy cringing. If what Suzie said is true, this isn't going to end well...

Oskar holds out a hand to Suzie. She lifts her arm and he takes her hand, pulling her out of her chair. He grabs her waist and they start to dance. He steps on her foot. "Ow." While moving forward, he steps on her right foot. "Ow." Oskar doesn't seem to notice, a smile on his face. Arnold cringes, Amy looking away.

"I can't watch this." He continues to step on her feet.

"Ow. Ow, Oskar, ow!"

* * *

Suzie sits back at her chair, her feet in a bucket of cold water. "And now, for the dessert," Arnold and Amy appear, holding something on each of their trays. "Two cherry tarts." Suzie looks up, Arnold placing a tart on Oskar's plate. When Amy gets to Suzie, she trips on her heels.

"Whoops!" The tart falls into the tub of water. "Uh, guess it's only one cherry tart." Suzie looks down at it before looking at Oskar. He's about to eat his tart. He looks at it, the three blinking at him to see if he would offer to share.

"Well, we could share it, but it's such a tiny piece," he pinches his fingers together.

"Maybe Mrs. Kokoshka would like it," Arnold winks at him.

"Arnold, do you have something in your eye?" He asks in confusion. Amy facepalms while Arnold sighs. "You don't really want the cherry tart, do you, Suzie?"

"Not if you want it all for yourself, Oskar," she answers.

"Okay, great," he throws the tart into his mouth. Suzie crosses her arms in disbelief, as she was testing him. And he just failed. "Boy, this is great! You don't know what you're missing!"

"That's it, Oskar!" She throws a napkin at the table. "You'll never change. You just care about anyone but yourself!" She takes her feet out of the tub. He looks at her as she takes her heels and leaves, slamming the door.

"What's her problem?" He asks, turning to the twins.

"She's right. You don't care about anyone but yourself," Arnold agrees, throwing down his apron.

"I don't understand how she put up with you for so long," Amy grunts and they leave to the glass window, leaving Oskar to his thoughts.

* * *

Arnold opens the door to see Oskar packing his things. "Oh. Um, hi Mr. Kokoshka." They felt a little uncomfortable after the exchange between them last night.

"Hello Amelia, Arnold. And goodbye," he closes his suitcase. "I decided maybe you're right about me. I'm going away to find myself," he walks up to them.

"Well...are you sure about this?" Amy wonders as he has no job to support himself or any money.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm hitting the road, jack. Oh, I got your CD player back. Never bet on a pair of threes."

"Thanks," Arnold says. "But where will you go?"

"I don't know, guys. I just don't know," he walks down the stairs, Amy and Arnold staring after him. "By the way, I borrowed your suitcase. I hoped you wouldn't mind." He stops in front of room 5, frowning as he thought about how he treated Suzie. He goes to knock, wanting to say goodbye, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. "Eh..." He leaves, the door opening. Suzie is holding a vase with flowers.

"Oskar?" Suzie asks.

"Oh, hello Suzie."

"H-How are you?" She questions in concern.

"Never better. Well I have to go now," he starts walking.

"Oskar, is that a suitcase in your hand?" She notices the item.

"Yes. I'm going away. It's the best thing for everyone," he explains and she drops the vase in shock.

"Where will you go?" She catches up with him.

"I don't know. Somewhere, into the dark abyss I created for myself."

"Well, if you're really leaving, I guess you could use some money," she offers.

"Well sure, a couple of 50s would tie me over," he laughs slightly. She reaches into her pocket, pulling out a couple of bills. She offers it to him and he smiles before it falters. "No wait, I can't take it. I don't want to take it. I can't keep on taking money from you, Suzie. From now on, I'm going to make it on my own. You keep the money."

"What did you say?" She blinks in surprise.

"You keep the money?" He repeats, shrugging.

She throws the bills away, walking to him. "Oh, Oskar. That's the most beautiful thing you've ever said to me."

"You keep the money?" He asks in confusion.

"That's the first time you ever thought of someone before yourself," she explains. "You must care about me. Oh Oskar," she hugs him, kissing his forehead.

"You keep the money."

"Oh, Oskar." She leads him back to their room.

"You keep the money."

"Oh Oskar!"

"You keep the money." Amy and Arnold watch the display, smiling as their hands are on their cheeks.

"Oh Oskar."

"Oh Suzie."


	11. Benchwarmer and Cool Jerk

The local basketball team has gathered around the gym. "Man Arnold, despite that we're on the same team, I hope we get to play," Gerald comments to the football headed boy as he dribbles a basketball.

"Oh sure, in this league, maybe we'll all get to play," Arnold offers before a loud whistle goes off. They cover their ears in pain before sitting on the couch, panting. Coach Wittenburg stands in front of them, hands on his hips.

"I'm Coach Wittenburg. Welcome to youth league basketball. Being as I am the coach of this said team," He paces in front of him. "It's recumbent that you do whatever I dictate, so here to for, our strategic strategy will constitute the idea that we revolve our offense, on one player. Tucker!" A boy walks up to him.

"Yeah Dad?"

"Dad?" Arnold whispers to Gerald, whose mouth is open.

"This," Wittenburg places a hand on his son's shoulder, "Is Tucker. Would've been the league MVP last year if it wasn't for the voting. Now, for all attention purposes, our strategy will consist thus fully. Give the ball to Tucker," he hands the ball to his son, who smiles. "Everyone understand?"

They all grumble to themselves. "Louder, please!"

"Yes, Coach Wittenburg," they all deadpan.

"Good! Now it's time for limb practice! Move it!" He shouts at them, blowing his whistle.

They stand in a line, each of the members holding a ball. "Arnold, pass the ball to Tucker." He does so and Tucker catches. "Gerald, pass it to Tucker. Stinky, pass the ball to Tucker. Nice pass to Tucker! Arnold. Excellent pass to Tucker, Arnold. Gerald. Very very nice. Stinky. Way to pass it to Tucker. Alright, let's break it up a little, let's start passing it to Tucker. Good pass! Don't dribble too much, pass it to Tucker. You don't even have a good dribble pass like Tucker. Good catch, Tucker! I want you to be passing it to Tucker!" This summed up the whole practice.

"Man, it's all about getting the ball to Tucker," Gerald complains.

"Some team, huh?" Arnold asks, exhausted.

"You're telling me. I wish we could run that play we worked out in the park," Gerald agrees.

"This really bites," Stinky adds, hands on his hips.

* * *

The next thing they knew, it was their first game. Arnold sees Amy entering the stadium. "Boys, it's our first game. And before we go out there, I want you guys to remember the words of the great Guy Lombardo. There is no I in team. Now, get out there and make sure Tucker gets the ball!" They run past him.

"Wait, what? Run that by me again?" Amy asks in confusion. Arnold didn't disclose their practices, but she knew he looked annoyed and exhausted each time he came home. Stinky passes the ball to Arnold, who catches it and throws it to Gerald. He passes it to Tucker and he scores the team's first basket. The ball is passed to him again and he jumps, getting the second basket. Stinky throws it to Tucker and he throws the ball into the net. Arnold dribbles, seeing Tucker being blocked by two players. He looks at Gerald, who yawns. Arnold throws it and it hits his head. "Ow." He catches it, however, and scores a basket.

"What?!" Coach Wittenburg exclaims, gesturing a time out. They run back to him. "Arnold, you fragrantly didn't listen to me. The game plan is simple. Give the ball to..."

"I know, sir, Tucker. But he wasn't open," Arnold explains.

"Don't disrespect the game plan! You need to think about your insubordinate. You're out of the game! Park yourself on the bench, Arnold!" He points to the bench, Amy looking in shock.

"Wait...did he just get pulled because Tucker wasn't open? Unbelievable! I'm glad it's an all-boys team..." She comments as Arnold sulks to the bench. He sits down, his hands on his cheeks.

* * *

"Grandpa, I got a problem," Arnold states. "I think I'm gonna quit the basketball team." Grandpa is doing a crossword puzzle.

"Quit? Why?" Grandpa wonders.

"Because I wouldn't pass the ball to this kid. It's totally unfair, Grandpa," Arnold explains.

"He's not wrong. I was there," Amy comments as she walks in, placing her hands on her hips. "You'd think teamwork would be first priority, but not to stupid old Wittenburg."

"Have I ever told you two about how I always wanted to be in the circus?" Grandpa asks them.

"Yeah, you did, Grandpa, but-"

"When I was a kid, I wanted nothing more than to be a trapeze artist. But, the only job I could get was cleaning up after the elephants. 13 years with my pail and shovel. Following around Jumbo and Big Nellie. I thought about quittin'. But I remembered what my Grandfather said to me."

"What was that?" Arnold asks.

" 'Don't quit, you ninnie!' So I stuck with it," Grandpa explains.

"And eventually you got a chance to trapeze?" Amy questions hopefully.

"No! Although I did get an audition as the bearded lady. But Arnold, those with the cleanest elephant cages decide of the bangled bay," he finishes.

"You know what, Grandpa? You make a lot of sense," Arnold grins slightly. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Shortman," Grandpa winks at him.

"I'll come to your next game, but that doesn't mean I have to like it," Amy frowns at Arnold.

* * *

Arnold sits at the bench, watching as Tucker gets ALL the baskets. Eventually, he gets a foul. "Foul! Two shots!" The ball is passed to, of course, Tucker.

"Come on, Tucker! We need both shots!" Wittenburg calls out. "Don't let me down, son." Tucker misses the first one. "For crying out loud, you can't miss those big throws, Tucker! Suck it up." Tucker misses yet again, the opposing team winning. Gerald walks up to Arnold. "You don't miss free throws with the team on the line!" Wittenburg shouts to Tucker.

"Almost makes you feel bad for the guy," Arnold comments.

"Yeah, almost," Gerald deadpans.

"You coming, Arnold?" Gerald asks as they walk out of the locker room, back in their clothes.

"I'm just gonna shoot around," Arnold answers. "Take Amy home for me, will ya?" He jerks a thumb at his sleeping twin from the bleachers.

"Alright...I'll see you later, man," Gerald picks up Amy around his shoulder, taking her things and walking off. Arnold turns to the basket, shooting one. Tucker appears, watching him. He had never seen anyone shoot like that before.

"Wow, I can't believe it," he walks up to him. "Hey Arnold."

"Hey Tucker," Arnold says, turning to him.

"Where'd you learn to shoot your foul shots like that?" Tucker wonders.

"Actually, my sister kinda helped me. She's good at basketball, but there's no girls team," Arnold explains.

"Man, I could never do that," he looks at the basket. _"Come on, don't let me down son. Don't let me down. Come on son, don't let me down. Make the shot_!" "Every time I try, I think of my dad and I choke. Big time. I really need to learn how to sink my free throws."

"I guess I could teach you to do my shot," Arnold offers.

"Really? Hey, that would be great!" Tucker agrees.

"Alright, meet us tomorrow at the outdoor court near the nearest grocery store, 3:30. Don't be late," Arnold tells him.

* * *

Tucker dribbles the ball, early. Arnold walks in through the fenced door. He's wearing basketball shoes. Amy walks in behind him, Arnold bowing to her. "Okay, how many little dots do you think are on the surface of the ball?" Amy holds the ball up to his face.

"I don't know. I never really thought about it," Tucker shrugs.

"There are 9 thousand, 3 hundred and sixty six little dots," Arnold states, Tucker looking in shock. Amy throws the ball into his hands. "You must know the ball intimately."

They sit cross-legged, the ball between their legs. They stand on top of the ball, meditating. They practice throwing without the ball, Tucker still doing it as Amy comes back. "Okay," she throws the ball to him. "You're ready to start free throws," she holds out a cloth.

"Finally." Arnold ties the cloth around his eyes. "You're kidding."

"Just trust the ball, and you'll be fine. Watch," Amy gestures to Arnold, who gets the shot. Tucker ties it around his eyes.

"Trust the ball?" He asks uncertainly.

"Trust the ball," Arnold states again. He throws it, but misses as it flies over the net and crashes into several things. He winces at the noises.

"You didn't trust the ball!" Amy crosses her arms as the ball comes rolling back.

"Now, do it again," Arnold orders him. Tucker moves the bandana over his eyes and takes a deep breath. He throws it, and this time, the ball makes it into the net.

"Yeah," Tucker places his hands on his hips proudly.

"Good," Amy says, nodding in approval. He does the same technique and he makes it. Amy hands him the ball and he throws another shot.

* * *

The team laces on their shoes, Coach Wittenburg walking in. "Boys, this game is critical if we wanna make a play off thy situation, so whether we win or lose, I want you guys to go out there and win!" Tucker and Arnold glance at each other, smiling a bit. "Thus spoken, I want to remember one rule," He leans towards Tucker. "No missed free throws," Tucker nods at him, the buzzer sounding. "Okay, now go get 'em!" They walk off, the crowd cheering as the whistle blows.

Stinky passes it to Gerald, who passes it to Tucker. The ball gets flown out of his hands by a player. "Foul! Two shots!"

Arnold watches, smiling. He looks at Amy in the crowd, who winks. The ball is handed to Tucker and Wittenburg crosses his arms. Tucker looks up at the ball and closes his eyes.

"Trust the ball, Tucker," Amy and Arnold say to themselves. Tucker throws it with his eyes still closed and he makes the shot. Wittenburg shouts happily, Arnold giving him a thumbs up from behind. Amy grins, clapping. The whistle blows and Tucker gets the shot again. With each foul shot, he gets into the basket, impressing the crowd and Wittenburg.

"Tucker, your free throw shooting is terrific!" Wittenburg explains after the first half is over. "What did you do?"

"Ah, nothing special. Just good old fashioned hard work," Tucker sugarcoats, glancing at Arnold.

"All on your own, huh?" Wittenburg places a hand on his shoulder. Tucker darts his eyes around.

"Yeah. All on my own." Arnold frowns at hearing this, Amy fuming silently. Arnold is now displeased. He didn't gain the coach's respect for this and he's still benched.

"That's my boy, Tucker," Wittenburg pats his shoulder. The buzzer sounds again. "Now just keep it up in the second half and the game is ours. Alright boys!" Arnold and Amy glare at Tucker. "Tucker, Stinky, Robert, Lammar, you guys start the half. Gerald and Ravi, take a breather," Tucker leaves Arnold by himself. "Arnold, bring me a towel."

Arnold's frown stays as Gerald joins him. "Hey, what's the matter?" He doesn't answer, giving his ball to Gerald.

"Two shots!" The ref declares and Tucker dribbles. _"Don't let me down."_

 _"Trust the ball."_

 _"Yeah, all on my own."_

His guilt gets to him and he misses the net completely. The crowd starts to laugh, except for Amy, who has her arms crossed. "What are you doing, Tucker?!" Wittenburg exclaims to him. Tucker starts to dribble, but he misses again, the crowd laughing again. Wittenburg screams in disbelief.

"He's not trusting the ball," Arnold says to himself. By the time the game is almost over, the opposing team has caught up to 39 while Arnold's team has only gained 5 points, putting them to 37.

"Okay, we're down, but we're not up! The only thing we have to factor is sink one shot. We tie the game and then we vanish the foes on overtime. Gerald, you take the ball up court and give it to Tucker in a low post. Tucker, you better sink this shot, son. Don't let me down." Tucker nods silently and the buzzer goes off. Tucker stands up and Gerald dribbles the ball between his hands. Tucker isn't open, but he throws it anyway.

"Tucker!"

He catches it, but misses the shot when he's slightly tackled by another player. "Foul, two shots!" Tucker is handed the ball. He glances at his father and dribbles, the other players staring at him.

"Don't let me down, son," he looks at his father again, who looks at him expectantly. Arnold taps his finger against his ball. Amy raises an eyebrow at him.

"Ah, my shoulder," Tucker rubs his arm.

"Aw, he's faking it!" One of the other players say.

"Tucker? Tucker, you alright, boy?" Wittenburg walks up to him, falling for it.

"I must've gotten it when I got fouled," Tucker states.

"Hey come on, Coach, we need a replacement shooter out here," the referee explains, holding the ball.

"You're gonna have to put somebody else in," Tucker looks at his dad.

"What?! There is nobody else," Wittenburg protests.

"Well, you could always put in Arnold, dad," Tucker looks at Arnold, who spins the ball on his finger.

"Arnold?! That kid doesn't follow the rules. He's not a team player!" Wittenburg argues.

"Don't you dare talk trash about my brother," Amy glares at him, stepping down from the bleachers. The crowd gasps as she walks up to him. "The only reason why you benched him is because you want your son to be the star. If you wanna win this game, I suggest you listen to us."

"He IS a team player. He's the one who really taught me how to shoot, along with his sister," Tucker gestures to Amy.

"Tucker, the playoffs are on the line here. I can't put him in!" Wittenburg crosses his arms.

"You CAN and you WILL, because you don't have much of a choice here, do you? The team can play just as good as your son. Give everyone a chance to play. Don't just sideline every other player because you wanna win the game," Amy crosses her arms.

He relents, "Get in there, Arnold!" Arnold smiles widely, winking at his sister. "And don't screw up."

"Oh trust me, he won't," Amy glares at him threateningly, walking to the bench. Arnold takes the ball and thinks about what Amy said to him and Tucker. Wittenburg narrows his eyebrows and Arnold smiles, getting in the shot. The crowd starts to cheer for him, Wittenburg glancing at Tucker. He holds his shoulder, Wittenburg giving him a weary look. Arnold takes the ball again and calls for a time out. The team runs to Arnold.

"If we make a two pointer instead of a free throw, we'll win the game. Let's do the play we worked on in the park. I'll put the ball where it needs to be, and you guys do the rest. Got it?" Arnold offers and they put their hands together.

"Let's go!" They declare, the referee handing Arnold the ball. He looks at the net, glancing at Wittenburg, who didn't look happy. Arnold takes a deep breath and throws the ball. It hits the board, flying to Gerald. He passes it to Robert, who passes it to Stinky, who passes it to Arnold again. He looks at the time and throws the ball...making the shot! The crowd cheers as his teammates hug him, Amy running up to them. Wittenburg winks, pumping his fist. They lift Arnold in the air, cheering his name.

"You guys are the greatest," Wittenburg smiles down at them. "What a victory, men. Arnold and Amelia, you have restored upon me a violate lesson on teamwork. From now on, the suppository team strategy will proceed as thusly...everyone touches the ball!" The teammates and Amy cheer. "Then we pass it to Tucker!"

"Dad," Tucker looks annoyed.

"Who will pass it to the rest of you," Wittenburg finishes and they cheer again, Arnold and Gerald doing their signature handshake.

 **Cool Jerk**

Harold laughs, "You guys are the worst nuclear ball players I've ever seen! Don't you know you're facing me, Harold? The greatest world balls who ever lived?" Some of the boys and Amy are standing behind a dumpster.

"Oh, give it up, Pinkboy," Helga walks up to him. "You haven't hit a kid in fifty throws."

"Oh yeah?" He brags, grabbing the ball. "Watch this. Hold still, Arnold. I'm feening ya," He throws the ball and Arnold ducks, the ball hitting Harold in the face. He's knocked down to the ground, the others surrounding him.

"Harold! Harold!" Sid asks. "You okay, man?"

"I hurt my nosey," Harold rubs his red nose.

"Let me see that," Helga gets in his face and he uncovers it. "Eh, you're fine, Rudolph," they back away.

"I am not fine, I'm hurt bad!" He stomps, "And I'm gonna kick Arnold's butt."

"Who, me?" Arnold gestures to himself.

"Dude, all he did was duck-" Harold yells, charging forward and grabbing Arnold. The boys and Amy protest for him to stop, but a bike pulls up.

"What are you doing?" They turn around to the stranger.

"Doing? We weren't doing nothing," Harold denies.

"You liar, you were gonna pound him!" Amy yells at him. "Now let my brother go!"

"Whoa...it's Frankie G," Sid says in awe. A boy in a leather jacket is on a bike with flames all over it. He was considered by people of all kinds to the point of coolness. They all murmur at his sudden appearance, Amy furrowing her eyebrows.

"Don't look like nothin'," Frankie G walks up to Harold. "Looks like something. The girl's right. Let him go." Harold does so and Frankie G helps Arnold up. "You okay, kid?"

"Yeah," Arnold grins at him.

"Good," he turns his attention on Harold. "Listen, idiot boy. In the future, leave the football head alone or I'll come back and introduce ya to some pain."

Amy smiles lovingly at him, clasping her hands together.

"Yes sir, Mr. G, sir," Harold stammers.

"Good. Come on, kids, I'll give you a ride," Frankie G offers to Amy and Arnold.

"Really?" Arnold asks, smiling. "Okay, Frankie G."

"Call me Frankie," he tells them and they follow him to his bike.

"Okay...Frankie," Amy giggles at him and he offers the two helmets. Amy gets on first, sighing in bliss as she hugs Frankie G. All the other kids gossip in awe.

"He's the coolest," Sid comments. Helga just stares at him. Frankie G revs up his bike.

"You're okay, kids," He calls out.

"What?" Arnold shouts over the engine.

"I said, you're okay. You got potential," he speeds away.

"You want my pencil?" Arnold yells, not able to hear him. Amy just has a happy smile on her face.

* * *

Frankie G arrives home with the two, some of their classmates waiting for them at the boarding house. They all stand up, shouting as the twins get off. "See you tomorrow, Amy and Arnold."

"Later, Frankie," Arnold smiles as he waves. Amy waves at him in a flirty way. He gives them a thumbs up before leaving, Amy staring at him like Helga would at Arnold's picture. Their friends gather around for the gossip, asking a million questions a minute.

"Come on, come on, leave them alone. Let them breathe," Gerald interrupts, getting between the two. "If Amy and Arnold don't wanna talk about Frankie G right now, they don't have to. Come on, guys, spill it!"

"What'd you do, where'd you go?"

"I don't know," Arnold shrugs. "He's a really nice guy. He thinks my head's cool and he wants to be our friend."

"Just imagine, me being friends with Frankie G...or maybe even more~" Amy sighs slowly as they walk up the stairs.

"What else is there to say?" Arnold asks them as he opens the door, closing it behind them. The crowd walks away, but Gerald lingers there, suspicious. He had his doubt about why Frankie G suddenly liked the twins so much. It didn't sit right. He narrows his eyes.

* * *

The next day, he voices his concerns with the two as they walk to school. "I don't know. There's something I don't like about that Frankie G guy."

"Well maybe you're just bummed cuz there's actually someone cooler than you around for a change," Arnold brags, Amy looking at him in shock.

"Arnold!" She exclaims in disbelief. "You don't just say that!"

"Now you realize that's impossible, Arnold. I am the coolest," Gerald dismisses, walking away.

"Hey look, it's Arnold and Amy!" Some of the classmates see them, Gerald glancing at an overwhelmed Arnold and a sweating Amy. They run up to the twins.

"Anybody who Frankie G thinks is cool must be the coolest kids in the universe!" Park comments, Arnold giving a smug look. Arnold turns to Gerald with a shrug, Amy shaking her head. She wasn't one for the attention unlike her brother.

"Hey Amy, Arnold." They turn to see Frankie G leaning on his bike. Gerald opens his mouth in shock while the twins run up to him.

"Talk to you later, Gerald." Gerald gives a worried look at them.

"Hey guys, how's it going?" Frankie G gives Arnold a high five while he ruffles Amy's hair. She swoons slightly.

"Great," Arnold answers.

"Awesome," Amy giggles at him.

"You ready to go do some stuff?" Frankie G offers them.

"Well, not right now. I mean, we're supposed to go to school," Arnold jerks a thumb behind him.

Frankie G chuckles at the thought. "Yeah, good one. Anyway, get on," he gives them their helmets. "We got more important things to do," he gets on his bike. Amy and Arnold look hesitant, glancing back at Gerald. Skipping school wasn't something that they'd normally do. But it was Frankie G, the coolest kid around.

"Well, okay." They get on and Gerald watches them leave in worry. Arnold and Amy smile up at him as he pulls up to a place called Joe's Eats. Frankie G orders pancakes for them, all three of them sipping a cup of coffee.

He drives them around, both of them wearing cool jackets like him. They visit the arcade, Arnold's hair combed and Amy's hair in a bun. They take photos in the booth, looking cool in every single one of them.

They go to an auto parts store, Frankie G asking about a part for his bike. Amy and Arnold smile in their sunglasses.

They lean against a wall near a newspaper stand, reading magazines. Frankie G smiles down at them and they smile back.

He drives them to the movies, where 'The Wild One' is playing. Amy and Arnold watch in anticipation, eating popcorn.

* * *

He takes them to an alley, a rat crawling out a can. The twins take off their helmets, walking up to the building. "This is where you live?"

"Yeah, come on in. I want you two to meet some of the guys," he opens the door and they walk inside.

"Hey look, it's Frankie G."

"Hiya Frankie," the neighbors stand outside their doors, Frankie high fiving one of them.

"What, Frankie's here?" a woman stands in front of them, hands on her hips. "When you gonna pay my rent?" She elbows him.

"Aw come on, Ms. Roselli. You'll get it. When have I ever let you down?" He places a hand on her shoulder.

"Aw, you're a good boy, Frankie. You're a good boy," she compliments.

"Aw, get outta here, you're a nice lady," he waves off the compliments.

"You hungry, come to my house anytime for something to eat," she offers as the three leave.

"I'll come over tonight," he replies, turning around.

"Alright Frankie, just make sure you bring the rent," she places her hands on her hips again, serious. Frankie G opens the door for Amy and Arnold. They walk inside to see four other people in the living room/bedroom.

"Wow." They look at the music equipment. "We've never seen anything like this."

"Yeah," the guy on the bed chuckles. "Frankie likes music."

"Amy, Arnold, the guys. Tony B, Phily D, Joey C, and Chas." A boy in a uniform stands up, offering his hand.

"Excellent to meet you, old boy and young lady," he says politely.

"Chas is new," Frankie whispers to them and they nod in understanding. "Guys, this is Arnold and his twin Amy."

"Hey," they gather around, commenting on their similarities.

"How you doing, kids?"

"Have a seat, guys. I'll get you Yahoos," Frankie walks away, leaving the two with his friends.

"Uh, hi," Arnold says nervously.

"Nice to meet you," Amy murmurs as Phily D eyes them.

"I like your head."

"Oh, thanks...I think?" Arnold says in confusion.

"Yeah man, they're perfect." Frankie comes back with Yahoo sodas for all of them, changing the music.

"What a collection!" Arnold looks up at the CDs.

"Yeah...you have everything," Amy bats her eyes at him.

"You know, most kids your age don't appreciate this kind of music," Frankie points out.

"What a system! It's amazing! Triple stack CD remote with 28-bit over sampling, micro tuner, 360 wolvers with 7 sub channel. Where did you get all this, Frankie?" Arnold wonders as Amy explores it.

"Hey, anything you want, you get. All you gotta do is work hard, plan things out, and have your priorities in the right order," he explains while two of his friends wink at each other.

"Cool," Amy and Arnold comment.

"Guys, a toast," Frankie holds up his bottle. "To our new friends, Amy and Arnold. May they always know the true meaning of friendship."

"To Amy and Arnold!" They all take a sip, burping. They all look down at Amy and Arnold, who let out small burps, smiling at Frankie.

"From now on, Amy and Arnold, you're both one of us," Frankie declares.

"One of us," his friends cite together.

* * *

Frankie drives the two home, Gerald waiting on their stoop. "See you tonight, Frankie," Arnold says. Frankie winks at Amy and she smiles before he leaves. The twins walk up to Gerald.

"Hey guys, where have you two been? We were supposed to go skateboarding, remember?" He holds up his board.

"Oh yeah, we forgot. But man, Gerald, we had the best time!" Arnold starts, jumping onto the steps.

"We met Frankie's friends and we hung out, and guess what? We have the same taste in music," Amy clasps her hands with a sigh.

"But you both skipped school," Gerald reminds them.

"Well, Frankie said that he wanted us to go with him, and we just went," Arnold sits on the steps.

"What's up with all this Frankie stuff?" Gerald eyes Arnold before pointing at Amy. "And why are you always sighing at his name?"

"Well, he's our friend," Arnold replies.

"I hope to be more than friends with him," Amy admits, smiling.

"Come on, he's not your friend. And Amy, he's older. You don't even know the guy," Gerald points out.

"Sure we do," Arnold argues as Gerald sits next to them.

"And age doesn't matter. Juliet was younger by a couple of years than Romeo," Amy huffs, placing her hands on her hips.

"Look guys, I was talking to my man Fuzzy Slippers, and he says that Frankie G is bad news," Gerald gives a thumbs down.

"What do you mean, bad news? He's amazing," Amy swoons.

"He just is, that's all. And if you're smart, you'll both stay away from him," Gerald warns.

"You know Gerald, you're lucky. You always had a big brother to hang out with. I haven't," Arnold leans against the stairs. "And for the first time in my life, I've got somebody older to look up to and not someone who's the same age as me. Somebody who likes me when I know I'm just a kid. I'd think that you of all people would be happy for me. Instead, you're just jealous." Gerald glances at Amy, who closes her eyes.

"That's wack, man! What are you talkin'?" Gerald waves it off.

"You heard me. You're just jealous. I thought you were cooler than that," Arnold runs inside and slams the door. Amy glances at Gerald, frowning before she walks inside. Gerald glares and takes off on his skateboard. Arnold walks into his room, sitting on his bed. He looks up at the sky, thinking about what Gerald had just said. Arnold climbs up to the roof, climbing down the ladder on his fire escape. Amy opens the door and sees the window open.

Frankie is adjusting his bike and sees them. "Hey guys! Hurry up, we're gonna be late," he calls out. Amy and Arnold join him, sitting on the bike.

"Can I ask you a question?" Arnold wonders.

"Sure Arnold, shoot," Frankie doesn't look at him.

"Is there some reason you want us to hang out with you guys? Something that we don't get?" Arnold asks, Amy giving a hopeful look.

"What are you talking about?" He asks.

"Well, I mean, the reason we're hanging out together is you're our friend, right?" Amy questions and he turns to them.

"Of course I'm really your friend, guys," he places their hands on their shoulders. "And you're really my friends, right?"

"Sure, Frankie," Arnold answers, a little hesitant.

"And friends do friends' favors, right?" Frankie asks them.

"What's the favor?" Amy tilts her head, raising her eyebrow.

"Climb on," he hands them their helmets, starting up the bike. They get on behind him and he takes off. His friends are waiting in a dark alley behind a store.

"They're late," one of them spits at the floor. They wait in the shadows until the three arrive.

"Gene's Hi-Fi?" Arnold looks at the store.

"Why are we here?" Amy wonders and they take off their helmets.

"You'll see," he turns to them. They join the four.

"Okay, Frankie G. We're all set."

"Let's do it," Frankie declares to the twins' confusion.

"Do it?" Arnold asks, puzzled.

"Do what?" Amy wonders and he places his hands on their shoulders.

"Come on guys, I wanna show you something," he leads them further down to the back door, a cat meowing nearby. "See that window up there? You're the only guy with a head the right shape to get through that window. All you gotta do is crawl though, jump down inside, and unlock the door, see?"

"You mean...?" Arnold starts in surprise.

"Yeah," he tugs the collar. "I need a new tweeter for my system." The others laugh and Frankie laughs at them. They fall silent, moving away.

"So you needed us to help you steal a tweeter?" Amy asks in disbelief. Frankie leads them away.

"Look guys, you wanna be cool, right? Sometimes if you wanna be cool, you gotta bend the rules a little," he leans in close to Amy.

"I thought we were friends," Arnold laments, Amy moving away from him.

"Well, we'll be better friends when you get through that window!" He grabs them and they stop him.

"No," they decline.

"You're despicable," Amy hisses at him. "I can't believe that's why you wanted us around."

"Hey!" He grabs them by the collar. "You're not listening to me!" Amy spits in his face and he lets go of her.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Arnold protests and Amy looks up at him. "Leave him alone!"

"Hey, get your dirty hands off my brother!" Amy steps forward, only for the four to block her.

"You're not going anywhere." Amy hisses at them like a cat, pouncing and attacking them.

"Ah, no! Get her off, get her off!"

Frankie leads Arnold to the ladder. "No! Let go of me, I won't do it!"

"Oh yeah, watch this!" Frankie pushes Arnold's head to the window.

"Come on, stop! I don't wanna do this!" Arnold yells as he tries to get out. "I won't do this! Come on!"

"You get him out of there!" Amy jumps onto Frankie's head, attacking him. A blare is heard nearby.

"Cops! We got cops!" The four run off, some of them with bruises on their faces courtesy of Amy.

"So long, suckers! Later, triangle-face!" Frankie pushes Amy to the ground and she climbs up the ladder, trying to help Arnold.

"Help me!" Arnold calls out as she tries to pull. Gerald suddenly arrives out of nowhere, holding a siren to make them think the cops were arriving.

"Arnold! Arnold, you okay?"

"Huh? Gerald?" Arnold calls out.

"Hang on, Amy and I will help you out." Gerald joins Amy and they pull together, eventually getting Arnold out. They land on the ground, getting up and rubbing their heads.

"Thanks guys. Where'd you get that thing, anyway?" Arnold points at the siren.

"It's my grandpa's. I found it in the attic," Gerald demonstrates the siren.

"How'd you know we were here?" Amy wonders.

"Hey, I followed you. I told you those guys were trouble. Fuzzy Slippers tells no lies, man," Gerald explains and they turn to him.

"Guess I acted pretty dumb," Arnold frowns.

"Me too. I can't believe I liked him," Amy gags in disgust.

"Yeah, you did," Gerald offers a hand and he pulls them up. They do their handshake.

"Hey Gerald, do us a big favor," Amy starts.

"Yeah, what?"

"If we ever do that again, drop a piano on us," the twins take off their jackets.

"You got it, man," Gerald agrees as they throw out their jackets, putting their arms around each other. "Now, who did you say was the coolest?"

"You know, you're a bold kid, Gerald," Arnold comments.

"Hey, that's my line."

"Oh yeah."

Amy laughs at them, happy that things were back to normal.


End file.
